Thanks From a Grateful Nation: Awarding the Cross of Secret Achievement to the Dalai Lama
by Charles Carreon
The 14th Dalai Lama has been a friend to American
interests for his entire adult life, since he abdicated his throne
in order to save his people from the dangers of .... Well, okay, it
didn't turn out very well for the Tibetans, but he did save his
skin, his stash of cash, and a lot of reactionary Tibetan oligarchs
who came with him. Fortunately, the Central Intelligence Agency of
the United States of America was able to provide him with employment
as soon as he arrived in India. Since then, he has reliably made
himself a thorn in the side of the Chinese, giving the United States
the leverage it has needed to build an arms-length trading
relationship that now supplies us with enough borrowed money to buy
all the microchips, flat screens, cell phones and cheap clothing we
could ever want. While his aspirations to someday "return to Tibet"
are unlikely to be fulfilled, his mission on behalf of America has
been far more successful, and with the installation of numerous "tulkus"
on the boards of nonprofit organizations throughout the United
States, the exchange has been more than fair. His country has
infiltrated ours, and our country has used his people to the best
advantage. For this, we commend him, and with heartfelt thanks award
him the Cross of Secret Achievement.