|
WHO'S THAT GIRL? |
|
Screenplay by Andrew Smith and Ken Finkleman, directed by James Foley Click here to play Who's That Girl Original Motion Picture Soundtrack The Yoga of Lingam and Yoni, Wand and Cup Meets "Who's That Girl?", by Tara Carreon
(Warner Brothers Presents a Guber Peters Co. Production. James Foley Film. Starring Madonna, Griffin Dunne, Haviland Morris, John McMartin, Bibi Besch, and Sir John Mills. Screenplay by Andrew Smith and Ken Finkleman. Produced by Rosilyn Heller and Bernard Williams. Directed by James Foley.) Transcribed from the Movie by Tara Carreon [Music] I’ve got the moves,
baby I’ve got the moves, baby You met your match when you
met me The love you save may be
your own I’ve got the moves, baby I’ve got the moves, baby I hope you find what you’re
lookin’ for Then we can keep our love
alive I’ve got the moves, baby I’ve got the moves, baby Causing a commotion [FOUR YEARS LATER] [Parole Board] Nicole Finn. [Nikki] That's me. [Parole Board] After reviewing your record it is the opinion of this board that you have responded positively to the rehabilitation program. It is also our opinion that you have served sufficient time in this institution as punishment for the crime you committed. Parole granted. [Nikki] May I smoke? [Parole Board Officer] Yes, of course. [Nikki] Thank you. [Parole Board] Ms. Finn -- the terms of your parole are quite specific. As soon as you leave here you are to go directly to the bus station. You are going home to Pennsylvania. Uh, Philadelphia. You are to report immediately to your parole officer and every two weeks thereafter. Do you have any questions? [Nikki] Yeah -- you got any mascara? ROAR! [Shipping] Holy Shit! We can't store that thing! [Shipping] Don't worry about it. They're sending somebody down to pick it up. [Messenger] Hi. How are ya? You got a package for ... Mr. Montgomery Bell? [Shipping] There you go. ROAR! [Loudon] Sir, I'm not an animal trainer -- I'm a tax attorney. What's the problem? [Shipping] I'm trying to tell you -- the messenger you sent refused to pick it up. [Loudon] Hell, it's just a cat, right? Couldn't he put it in his satchel? Doesn't he have a little cat satchel? [Shipping] Mr. Trott, when you say cat, I don't think you understand. [Loudon] No, sir, I don't think you understand. Do you know who that cat belongs to? Montgomery Bell. [Shipping] Yeah? The real estate guy? [Loudon] Look, Shipping. Bell is my career, okay? Montgomery Bell equals Trott's career. Now, I need that cat uptown. [Beeping] [Shipping] What's that sound? [Loudon] That's my fiancee. [Wendy] Good morning, Dunbar. [Priscilla] Congratulations, Ms. Worthington. [Wendy] Thank you, Priscilla. [Employee] Congratulations! [Wendy] Thank you. [Mildred] Oh, congratulations Ms. Worthington. [Wendy] Thank you, Mildred. [Loudon] I understand that! I understand that! [Wendy] Stop it! [Loudon] Hold on one second -- be with you in a moment. [Wendy] Loudon, did you call the caterers? [Loudon] Yes, I did dear. It's all taken care of. [Wendy] I called them too, just to be sure. Oh, by the way, my cousin Heidi can't make it, so that leaves only 94 for my side. [Loudon] Well, honey, just why don't you take one from my side? Okay? I'm sorry. I can't hear what you're saying. [Shipping] I said the little kitty cat can't stay here. Nobody comes and picks it up by closing, I'm going to put it back on the boat. [Loudon] Oh, no. No, no, no. Do not do that. Do you hear me? I'm going to come by after I pick up the tux, at 11:25. Now listen -- this animal is very valuable to me so if you could keep your eye on it, you know, don't, don't let it out of it's cage. [Shipping] Right. He suggests we keep it in a cage. ROAR! [Wendy] Darling, don't forget. 11:10 you're being fitted for your tuxedo, and you're meeting us at 12:30 for lunch. [Loudon] Got it. I'm on top of it here. [Employee] So where are the two of you going for your honeymoon? [Wendy] Oh -- we've decided to postpone our honeymoon for a couple of years. Daddy has big plans for Loudon. There'll be plenty of time for fun later. [Beeping] [Loudon] It's Master's voice. [Wendy] My father is waiting for us upstairs. [Everyone] Oh. [Wendy] Loudon, I want you to know this prenuptial thing wasn't my idea. [Loudon] I know that dear. [Employee] Now which lace did you choose? [Wendy] None of them! [Employee] Oh. [Loudon] Can I help you? [Wendy] Loudon! This is Buck. We're receiving so many presents, they've assigned us our own E.P.C. driver. We have arrived! [Buck] How's it hangin'? [Loudon] It's, uh, hangin' okay. Thanks for asking, Buck. [Nikki] Doom doom, mm, mm! Doom doom, mm mm! Doom doom, mm mm! Doom doom, mm mm! Doom doom, mm mm! Doom doom, mwa. Doom doom, mm mm! Doom doom, mm mm! Doom doom, mwa. Doom doom, mm mm! Doom doom ... [Mr. Worthington] But she's only served four years. I understood she was going to do the full seven. Good behavior? I see. And where is she going? Philadelphia? And her parole officer there is expecting her? Uh- huh. How can you make sure she gets on the bus? So your people won't actually see her get on the bus? Well, thanks for calling Milton, and I really appreciate it. Give my love to Lisa and little Kenny and Devin. I mean your wife, Phyllis. You have no kids. [Wendy] Daddy -- which of these do you like for our stemware? [Mr. Worthington] Honey, it's your wedding. It's your decision entirely. PING! [Mr. Worthington] That one. [Wendy] I win! [Lackey Attorney] Just finished, Mr. Worthington! [Mr. Worthington] Ah! Good work, boys. Ha ha! Well, here we are, son. Just sign there. [PRE-NUPTIAL AGREEMENT] [Loudon] What's this? What are these? [Mr. Worthington] Oh, just a few do's and dont's. You don't have to read it, son. Basically, what it says is that everything I own -- the cars, the houses, the business -- someday none of it will be yours. [Mrs. Worthington] Isn't this civilized? [Mr. Worthington] Done. Now, would everyone if you would, excuse me? I would like to talk to my son-in-law alone for a moment. [Wendy] EEK! [Mrs. Worthington] Be gentle with him, dear. [Loudon] Sir, I think I know what you're going to say, and I want you to know that I will try to make Wendy as happy as I can. [Mr. Worthington] Oh, hell, that doesn't matter, son, as long as you sign the agreement. Something came up today, Loudon. A woman named Nicki Finn is being paroled from Rockford Correctional this afternoon. They're sending her home to Philadelphia. I want you to drive her to the bus station. [Loudon] That's it? [Mr. Worthington] That's it. Drive her to the bus station. It's a mile and a half. It will take you five minutes. I want to make sure she gets on the bus. [Loudon] Who is she? A client? [Mr. Worthington] No, no, no. This is a public service policy the firm is trying to initiate. We're trying to give back something to the community. [Loudon] You mean, like a charity? [Mr. Worthington] Exactly. [Loudon] What have you done with the real Mr. Worthington? [WHOOSH, WHOOSH] [Loudon] Listen, Sir, today is really the worst possible day for me. [Mr. Worthington] I was thrilled when you and Wendy decided to get engaged. You know that? [Loudon] Sir, you set my desk on fire. [Mr. Worthington] No, I didn't. [Loudon] Yes, Sir. You burst into my office with a five gallon can of gasoline -- [Mr. Worthington] I overreacted, I can see that now. My point is, you have tremendous potential, Loudon. Partner. Senior Partner. And you know why? You can be counted on. [Loudon] Alright. Alright. Let me just see here. Uh, I can squeeze it in between Bell's cat and lunch, I guess. [Mr. Worthington] I won't forget this, Loudon. Operation Prisoner Shuttle is very important to me. Now remember -- put the girl on the bus personally. I know you won't let me down. [JAIL DOOR SLAMS] [Prisoner] Yo. [Nikki] Cigarette concession's all yours, Judy. [Judy] Thanks, Nikki. Don't do nothin' I wouldn't do, eh? [Nikki] They haven't invented what you wouldn't do. Later Marilyn. [Marilyn] Later, Nikki baby. [Fag Guard] Come on! Move it! [HORN PLAYS MELODY] [Loudon] Hello, I spoke to you on the phone. I'm here to pick up Mr. Montgomery Bells' cat. [ROAR!] [Loudon] Oh, shit! This thing ate Mr. Bell's cat? [Shipping] No, Einstein, that is the cat. GROWL! [Shipping] Look, one Patagonian Felis Concolor. Says here, they're almost extinct. There's only four of them left in the world. Apparently, this species only mates once every 26 months. It says here tonight's the night. Sign on the X. [Loudon] What's it supposed to eat? [Shipping] Apparently shit-for-brain uptown attorneys. [Shipping] Ha ha ha! [Music] Turn it up! Turn it up! [Guard] One black leather jacket. One plastic comb, blue. Two leather-studded bracelets, black. And one lipstick -- fire-engine red. [Fag Guard] All your worldly possessions. [Nikki] Don't knock it Donovan. You can't get this shade of red anymore. [Butch Cop] She hasn't changed since I busted her four years ago. [Fey Cop] Well, I still say we're wasting our time. [Butch Cop] Maybe, maybe not. I always had a hunch somebody else was involved in the case. I think she's going to try and find whoever it is. [Fey Cop] Do you think she knows we're here? ROAR! [Nikki] Need some help with that, Donovan? I'm out of here. [Fag Guard] You ain't free till you're through that door. Move it! [Loudon] Hello. I'm here to pick up a Miss Nicole Finn. [Guard] That's her. [Nikki] Am I free now? [Fag Guard] Yeah, you're free. [Nikki] Good. [PUNCH] [Fag Guard] Did you see what she did? Get her back in here, now! [Guard] You want her back here? [Fag Guard] Hell, no! [Nikki] Be nice. [Loudon] Excuse me. Sorry, sorry. Excuse me, Miss Finn? Miss Finn? Excuse me! Miss Finn? [Nikki] Hello. [Loudon] Hello. My name is Trott, Louden Trott. I'm an attorney with Worthington, Ferris and Clarke, and we're initiating a new public service program. It's called "Operation Prisoner Shuttle." [Nikki] Operation Prisoner Shuttle? [Loudon] Yes. What we do is provide recently paroled people, such as yourself, rides to wherever they wish to go. [Nikki] Isn't that sweet? Is that your car, Loudon? [Loudon] Yes. Well no, it's not my car, it's my family's car. Well, they're not really my family yet. I'm more of a Volvo man, myself. It's a pretty car, just a little overstated for my taste. But it um -- [ENGINE STARTS] [TIRES SCREECHING] [Loudon] Excuse me. That's funny. Alright, alright, just stop right here. [Fey Cop] No, no babe. Let's take this car. [Butch Cop] What? [Fey Cop] This thing says undercover cop all over it. [Butch Cop] Yeah, right -- let's take the one that has pretentious asshole written all over it. [Loudon] Oh, God! Oh! [Fey Cop] Don't slam -- [Loudon] Fine, fine. Just go straight ahead. The bus station's straight ahead. GROWL! [Nikki] Neat! You got a tiger. [Loudon] No, it's a Patagonian Felis Concolor. There's only four of them left in the whole world. Going on three. [Nikki] What's his name? Hi, baby. [Loudon] Lady, I don't know his name, I'm just delivering him. Where's my seat belt?! [Nikki] How about Murray? [Loudon] How about Murray what? [Nikki] How about Murray the tiger? If there's only four left, it's not like you'd have another Murray. Am I right? [Loudon] I guess there's a certain logic to that? [HORN HONKS] [Loudon] Oh dear Lord. [Nikki] Hang on, Murray! [Loudon] God. God. [Nikki] Hey -- a mall! [Loudon] Are you out of your mind? Holy smoke! [Nikki] See -- you park on the slant so nobody scratches. [Loudon] Okay, that's it. Fine. Nobody's hurt. Nobody's hurt. [Nikki] Loudon, don't be mad at me, okay? It's just that I've been stuck in that cage for four years and I just went a little crazy, and it won't happen again. [Loudon] You're right! You're right! This will not happen again! [Nikki] But as long as we're here, can we go in for a few seconds? [Loudon] No! [Nikki] Please? [Loudon] No! [Nikki] My bus doesn't leave for a half hour and I can't go back to Philly without any presents for my mom -- she thinks I've been shopping. [Loudon] Shopping? For four years? [Nikki] Uh-huh. So I can't exactly go back empty-handed because it isn't very nice. [Loudon] Alright, alright. Fifteen minutes and then straight to the bus station. You promise? [Nikki] Promise. [Loudon] Who are you? [Fey Cop] Who's the guy? [Butch Cop] I don't know. A wild card. Let's go. [Fey Cop] Will you -- hey. Don't slam -- [Nikki] What? [Loudon] Come on, Miss Finn, it's getting late. Hey, look -- the clerk forgot to take the tag off this one! [Nikki] How about that. [BEEPING] [Loudon] Well, that's it. Fifteen minutes. Come on, come on. I'm getting worried about the cat. The Patagonian Felis. Murray. [Nikki] Is there a later bus? [Loudon] No. No. There's not. [Nikki] Isn't there a 1:45? [Loudon] No, they canceled that one. It was in the paper this morning. [Nikki] Ah, gee, because there's something else I gotta do. [Loudon] Oh, now, come on. We had a deal. You said you would go straight to the bus station. [Nikki] I will. Just gotta make a little detour. To 735 135th street, Apartment 6. [Loudon] That's Harlem. What's in Harlem? [Nikki] Nothing special. Just gotta get a gun. [Loudon] A gun? A gun? Absolutely not. No way. No. No can do. Sorry. [Nikki] Look, it'll take us a half an hour, max. 10 minutes to get there, 5 minutes to make the connection. We'll be there in plenty of time to make the 1:45 and you'll never see me again, except maybe in your dreams. [Loudon] Nightmares. Nightmares is the word you're looking for, Miss Finn. [Nikki] Nikki. [Loudon] Miss Nikki. [Nikki] Nah, Miss Finn. [Loudon] Miss Nifkin. Listen, listen. You've been out of prison exactly twenty three minutes. Now, I'm not a criminal lawyer, no, but I suspect it's very illegal -- [Nikki] Hey -- meet me out front. I gotta ditch this guy. [Loudon] So my advice to you is to seek some professional help. I mean, get a job, or something. You know, even a menial job at this point -- [ALARM] [Security] I got you! [Loser] Oh, hey -- no -- I swear I didn't take nothing. What are you doing? [Nikki] Let's get out of here. There's nothing here I want. [Security] What is this? [Loser] Beethoven? Oh, give me a break. [Nikki] Good work, pal. Lock him up and throw away the key. Hah! [Security] Thanks, ma'am. I knew you were up to no good. [Nikki] Loudon, I've been thinking it over. You know, you're right. I don't need any more trouble in my life. I'm going to get on that bus and go back to Philly, start all over again. [Loudon] Well, I think you're doing the right thing. [Nikki] Yeah. Thanks for everything. Goodbye Murray. I'm going to miss you most of all. [Loudon] Wait, I'm driving you. [Nikki] No, you've done enough for me already. [PURRING] [Loudon] But, I'm supposed to make sure you get on the bus. [PURRING] [Loudon] Come on, get in. [Nikki] Can I drive? [Loudon] No! Absolutely not! GROWL! [Loudon] Alright. Maybe. GROWL! [Loudon] Alright. But no tricks. [Nikki] No tricks. [Loudon] You promise? [Nikki] I promise. I promise. No tricks. Hey, Loudon. Guess what? Tricks! Sorry! [Butch Cop] They're getting away. [Loudon] Oh, my God. You robbed that store! Where are we going? [Nikki] Rob, nothing. When you rob a store you stick up the cashier. I boosted a few tapes. There's a bit of a difference. [Loudon] Alright. I didn't want to do this, but I have no choice. Citizen's arrest. [Nikki] Citizen's arrest? You're so cute. Here it is. [Loudon] Oh, my God! [Loudon] We'll make it! [Loudon] I'll accept anything but a tie! [Music] I've tried and tried
to get next to you [Nikki] Detour! Ha ha! [Loudon] Freight train! Freight train! Freight train! [Music] But I don't give in
so easily I know that you're afraid
that I might Can't stop thinking about
you babe, can't stop [POLICE SIREN] [Nikki] Now look what you've done. GROWL! [Cop] Alright, get out of the car with your hands up. [Nikki] Oh, officer, thank god you found us. See, my husband's having a heart attack and we got to get him to the hospital. Is this the way? [Cop] Let me see your license. [Nikki] I don't have a license. You see, I was only driving because it was an emergency and I mean, look at him! [Loudon] Ah! Help me! [Nikki] Is he going to be in REALLY good hands? Oh God, he's so young! [Nurse] Are you his wife? [Nikki] Uh-huh. [Nurse] I'm going to need some information. What's the patient's name? [Nikki] Loudon. [Nurse] Uh-huh. Loudon what? [Nikki] Clear. [Nurse] Loudon Clear. Mrs. Clear have you noticed anything wrong with your husband recently? [Nikki] Well, he hasn't exactly been Valentino in the sack lately, if that's what you mean. [Loudon] Ah! [Nikki] Oh, God! Hey, he's hysterical. Can't you give him something? Help! He's in agony! [Loudon] Ah! Ah. Ah. No. [Nurse] How are you feeling Mr. Clear? [Loudon] My wallet, my clothes. [Nurse] Oh, your wife took everything home. She's going to be back later with your pajamas. [Loudon] My wife? Oh, my God. She didn't take the Rolls? [Nurse] Oh, it's a beautiful car. She gave some of the girls a ride in it. [Loudon] Oh no, no, no -- not Mrs. Worthington's Rolls Royce? [Nurse] Mm-hmm. [Loudon] But Murray's in it. [Nurse] Mm-hmm. [Loudon] She's got Murray! [Nurse] Mm-hmm. [Loudon] Harlem! Harlem! I've got to get to Harlem! [Nurse] Mr. Clear! Oh, Mr. -- you can't go anywhere. We still have to run more tests. [Loudon] My name is not Clear, and I'm perfectly, perfectly fine. I'm a lawyer, see, I'm a lawyer, see, and I know my rights. I'm going to Harlem. What is wrong with this door? [Nurse] Well, you just -- you just have to push. [Loudon] Taxi! Taxi! Taxi! Taxi! Okay. 735 135th Street! Step on it! [Taxi Driver 1] Sure thing. I'm not supposed to pick up anybody without their clothes on. Company policy. Damn good policy, too. [Gun Punk] 9 millimeter, semiautomatic, only 33 moving parts. [Nikki] Yap Yap Yap Yap! [Gun Punk] For easy stripping and uh, cleaning. 27 ounces, fits in your pocketbook, light and deadly. A favorite with the ladies. [Nikki] Very nice. [Gun Punk] The ever popular .44 magnum with chrome finish -- effective but common. And for more serious self-defense, you've got your AK47 Soviet Assault rifle. Or the AUGSA 45 millimeter, merely the cutting edge of automatic fire power. [Nikki] Now you're talkin'. Hah! [Gun Punk] I got assault knives, 10-inch blades, car stereos, compact disc players, watches, video cameras, I've got bootleg tapes, I've got Italian suits, shoes, designer jeans -- [Taxi Driver 1] Ah, you're gettin' married, are you? [Loudon] Yep. Tomorrow at 12, I'm marrying Wendy Worthington. [Taxi Driver 1] You? Nah. You marry Wendy Worthington? I can't see it. You're not her type. [Loudon] You know Wendy? [Taxi Driver 1] Sure -- Wendy from Scarsdale. I had her in the cab once. [Loudon] Well, just because you happened to have given her a ride doesn't mean you know her type. [Taxi Driver 1] I didn't say I gave her a ride. I said I had her in the cab. Well, here we are. That'll be $6.50. [Loudon] I don't have any money. [Taxi Driver 1] Ah, forget it. Any friend of Wendy's -- [Loudon] Hey! Hey! Get away from there! Go on! Get away! No! No! No! Get off! Get away! This is my stuff. This is my car. [Vandal] What's wrong with you? [Loudon] But -- hey! What are you doing? Don't do that! Don't do that! Uh-huh. Oh, my God! There was a Patagonian Felis in here. A Patagonian Felis was in this cage. Murray? Murray! Come here, boy. Here kitty, kitty -- God damn it! Come on. Cut that out. [TELEPHONE RINGS] [Vandal] Hello. No, this is not Loudon. Loudon? You Loudon? [Loudon] Yeah. [Vandal] Telephone. [Loudon] Hello? [Mr. Worthington] Loudon? How's it going, son? [Loudon] Oh, Mr. Worthington. Sir, actually there's been a wrinkle or two at this end. [Mr. Worthington] You did take care of that charitable errand we discussed, didn't you? [Loudon] Actually, the charitable errand missed the bus. [Mr. Worthington] That's not what I want to hear, Loudon. [Loudon] Well, I'm going to have her on the next one, guaranteed. No problem. [Mr. Worthington] I see. [Loudon] Uh, sir, how dangerous is this person? [Mr. Worthington] Her bark is much worse than her bite. [Loudon] But what does she bite, sir? It's important that I know that. [Mr. Worthington] I think we'd all be a lot happier on this most joyous of weekends if Nikki Finn were far, far away. [Loudon] Oh, I couldn't agree with that more, Sir. She'll be on the next bus. Guaranteed. No problem. [Mr. Worthington] I hope so. Here's Wendy. [Wendy] Loudon? Where are you sweetie? We've already finished the first course. [Loudon] I'm in, uh, Scarsdale. [Vandal] Yeah! Think about it! [Loudon] Why don't you, why don't you go ahead and order without me. [Wendy] Did you get the ring? [Loudon] Oh -- damn it. I haven't gotten to that yet. I'm running a little behind schedule here. [Wendy] You will be at the Co-op interview won't you? [Loudon] Oh, absolutely. Sure. Of course. I'll meet you there, okay? [Bum] Hey, white boy -- give me a dollar. [Wendy] Loudon! Exactly what part of Scarsdale are you in? [Loudon] Honey, I've really got to go. Kiss, kiss. Bye bye. [Mrs. Worthington] Darling, where is he? [Wendy] Scarsdale. [Loudon] Get back here! Bring that back! Oh! Oh! [Undercover cop] Go ahead and piss on me, you bastard. We got a problem. The gun runner's in number 6. Let's move. [Gun Punk] That's "B" for boy, 321-7621-413. [Nikki] Hey, you got these in pink? [Gun Punk] Hold on. Pink? Let me check. [Loudon] Alright! Where's Murray? [Nikki] Hi! [Nikki] Hold it. He's with me. [Gun Punk] You set me up, punk! [Nikki] Get real. [Gun Punk] Stay there! Both of you! Nobody breathe! The name is Loudon Trout. [Nikki] Trott. [Gun Punk] Trott, T-R-O-T-T. Expiration date 6/89. Amount $2,340. [Loudon] You don't have to call it in, it's a Gold Card stupid. [Nikki] Easy, Chuckles. [Loudon] Just tell me. I won't be upset. I really just want to know. Are you the anti-Christ? You can tell me, really. I swear I won't be mad. You are, aren't you? [Nikki] Move. [Undercover cop] Charlie! He's upstairs. [Nikki] Uh-oh. This way! [Loudon] A mile and a half. A mile and a half. Just take her to the bus station. A mile and a half. What'd you do with Murray? [Nikki] He had to go. I let him out. [Loudon] No, you didn't. [Nikki] Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. [Loudon] Oh, whoa! [Nikki] Aah. Jump! Come on! [Loudon] Are you insane? [Nikki] I did it, you can do it. [Loudon] You're a criminal; I'm a tax attorney. I'll be alright here. I'm sure somebody called the cops. [Nikki] They are the cops. [GUNSHOTS] [Loudon] Maybe if I just explain. [Nikki] Explain what, Trott, that we were buying four stolen semi-automatic weapons on your Gold Card? [Loudon] Oh, hey! [SIREN] [Nikki] Ha ha ha ha! [Cop] Hey, over here! [Cop] I got the other way! [Loudon] They'll put us in separate cells, won't they? I mean, we won't be rooming together? [Nikki] Relax, Counselor, nobody's going to prison. [Loudon] Alright, let's see here. Lunch -- that's off. Got to find Murray, that's number one. [Nikki] Wow, you print everything. And you never go below the line. I'm very impressed. [Loudon] Good, because impressing you is what I live for. Alright. Tux -- got that, sort of. Okay, got to go to Cartier, pick up the ring. [Nikki] Oh. A ring, huh? [Loudon] Yeah. A wedding ring. I'm getting married tomorrow. [Nikki] Oh, great. What's her name? [Loudon] Wendy. [Nikki] Oh, Wendy! That's a nice name. I'd like to meet her. [Loudon] Well, you two really don't have much in common, you see, she being a mere human person and you being a force of nature. [FIRE ALARM] [Loudon] Oh! [SCREAMS] [SIREN] [Nikki] Those guys are following me out there. I think they're crazy. [Loudon] They must be. [Nikki] Yeah. You know, in high school we used to hang out in these things all the time, sneaking cigarettes, lying about boys. Making big plans. [Loudon] Is that when you started murdering people? [Nikki] Hey, I'm a thief. I admit that. But I never killed anybody. [Loudon] Alright, alright. [Nikki] I was framed, Loudon. I was going with this guy named Johnny. Small time booster bookmaker type. Johnny finds out about this big white-collar guy who's into a lot of bogus stuff, but I never knew his name. Johnny gets the goods on this guy, though. He gets everything -- photos, tapes, financial records, stuff like that. Then, Johnny puts it all in a safety deposit box and he gives me the key, see? He decides to blackmail the dude, but the dude doesn't bend. The dude has some creep named Raul to hit Johnny. Raul stuffs the body in the trunk of my car, I don't know it's there, I take a red light, the cops stop me, and they find Johnny in a bunch of pieces in the back of the car. The judge called it a crime of passion. Hey, I liked Johnny, but not enough to kill him. [Loudon] These things happen. [Nikki] You know, Johnny never told me the name of the bank or the box number that this key goes to but Raul knows. Raul got out of me before he finished him off, so I got the key, Raul's got the box number, so we gotta get Raul. Will you say you'll help me? [Loudon] Help you what? [Nikki] Clear my name. [Loudon] Clear your name? That's what this is all about, clearing your name? [Nikki] Yeah. [Loudon] Why don't you just go and steal one? [Nikki] Come on, just help me out and I'll be on the next bus, I swear to God, Trott. Don't send me back to Philly a murderess. [Loudon] Well, uh, this guy, Raul -- he really, he sounds like trouble. [Nikki] Yeah, but we can handle him, you and me, because we're a team, Loudon, a lean, mean fighting machine of a team. Come on, somewhere deep down inside of there I see a fighter in you. Admit it. [Loudon] Well, you know I fence. I started fencing when I was in prep school. My father never approved, though. He didn't think it was very manly. [Nikki] Fence, huh? I knew you had it in you. [Loudon] Yeah, I won the State intercollegiate. But my father never came to see me. [Nikki] Why would your father want to watch you turn over stolen goods? [Loudon] Um. [Nikki] You're twisted. [Loudon] Yeah. [Nikki] No, I mean your glasses. Stay still. I'll fix them. [Loudon] No, that's okay. [Nikki] You got really neat hands. [Loudon] Thank you, they came with the arm. [Nikki] This arm? [Loudon] Yeah. [Nikki] This arm? [Loudon] Yes. [Nikki] This arm? [Loudon] Same one. Ah! [Nikki] Feel good? [Loudon] Uh, yes, actually. [Nikki] So you gonna help me? [Loudon] Uh, yeah. [Nikki] Ha ha! Goody! [Loudon] Oh, I mean, I'll consider it. If you help me. We had a Patagonian Felis in the back seat? Murray? Murray? Perhaps you remember Murray. [WHISTLES] [Loudon] How did you do that? ROAR! [Nikki] I have my methods. [Fey Cop] Are they still sittin' there. What could they be up to? [Butch Cop] What do you care? You're paid by the hour. What'd you get? [Fey Cop] Oh, I got the cold quail with pesto and cubed goat cheese. It's marinated in a little olive oil and thyme, and well I picked up the wild rice with French morel mushrooms on a bed of radicchio lettuce, and there's a little dijon dressing on the side. I got that for you.
|
