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HERO TYPES |
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by Neil Zawacki
Excerpt from "How to Be a Villain, Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans and More!!!" From the Glossary: Conscience (con - shyintz) The most common trait among heroes is what's called a conscience. Because of it, they will obey the law, keep their word, and not even consider enslaving all humanity. Moreoever, they will strive to protect the innocent and serve the common good whenever possible, a fact that can be exploited to your benefit. For example, should an unplanned confrontation between you and a hero occur, force the cape-wearing do-gooder to choose between bringing you to justice and saving a city from your doomsday device. They will choose the city every time. HERO TYPES (AND HOW TO THWART THEM) woman warrior The woman warrior who hunts you may be an Amazon through birth, the daughter of a god, or some sort of mythic figure, but whatever her background, she will be well-versed in the battle arts. She will probably wield a sword or bow, though some practitioners prefer enchanted lassos. The woman warrior also tends to dress in armor that protects an amazingly small amount of her body from attack, but don't let the scanty outfit fool you. The abbreviated attire may be her only weakness. This woman means evil-butt-kicking business. Hard to catch due to her proclivity for jumping and flipping about, the woman warrior is truly a force to be reckoned with. how to thwart them Women warriors can be extremely dangerous, so it's best to send in the goons for this one and watch from afar. If your goons fail, attempt -- cautiously -- to seduce the warrior with your bedeviling charms. This probably won't work, but the tiny hope that it might makes the effort worth the risk. silent loner Many an evil-doer has fallen prey to the silent loner. You may be sitting around your lair, minding your own business and plotting nefarious deeds, when suddenly some mysterious stranger rolls into town and starts destroying all you have worked to create. He or she may come in the form of a lone gunslinger, mystical swordsman, or one-man-army out for revenge. Whatever the case, silent loners are nearly unstoppable and will oppose you at every turn. On the plus side, they always travel by themselves so at least you'll only have one opponent. how to thwart them Silent loners by definition have no friends and thus no one to vouch for them, making them ideal candidates for a classic frame-up. Lure them to the scene of the crime, plant a bit of evidence, notify the authorities, and watch the fun. No one really knows Racer X, so how can anyone be certain it wasn't him who burned down City Hall? swashbuckler You may think you are safe from the swashbuckler by now, but rare sitings still occur. There are still a number of heroes out there who like swinging from chandeliers while clenching a dagger between their teeth. Also known for their fabulous swordplay, the swashbuckler is as skilled in the arts of romance as he is in heroism. Master of the dance as well as the bedside, his very appearance can cause women to faint and hearts to swoon. If you think the swashbuckler is an unworthy adversary, consider how much he has accomplished while wearing a poofy shirt and breeches. What if you had to wear a poofy shirt and breeches. The world just might be safe from serious evil. how to thwart them The swashbuckler is a true swordsman and will fight like a hundred men. Send in a hundred and one. MOTIVES The next step toward creating your evil persona is to consider your motive. Why do you do the things you do? Is it the power? The money? The glory? Or are you just bad to the bone? Evil comes from many sources; here are just a handful. power A prime motivator, the lust for power fuels many a malcontent. Power lets you do anything you want while remaining completely unaccountable for your actions. Do you feel the overwhelming desire to crush all beneath your might and control all that exists? If so, you're probably motivated by a strong affinity for power. Total supremacy is, of course, very tempting and explains why power has remained the top driving force among evil-doers for millennia. greed Many observers see greed as a superior motive to both power and hate, because it typically leads to wealth and material riches. This is not to say that it in any way impedes the pursuit of evil; in fact, quite the contrary. Unmitigated greed, which often encompasses exploitation, theft, and wholesale corruption, is often an expedient rout to nastiness. Due to the typically high profit margin of evil deeds, amassing an evil fortune can be remarkably quick and easy. insanity Many evil-doers have been propelled to greatness through insanity. Some hear voices in their heads, others can't tell right from wrong. Whatever your particular derangement, insanity is, by definition, incredibly disturbing both to you and those around you. As such, you may want to consider losing your mind before embarking on your evil career, so as not to be inconvenienced by your own madness. Madness scores high for originality and can direct you in ways normally thought impossible, or not thought at all, because they're, well, insane.
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