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Chapter 21
Blue, blue, blue, blue ...
An endless, measureless, timeless perfection of blue ...
And yet, at length, if duration could be
said to exist in such a state at all, something
became aware of a perturbation in the clear
blue nothingness of its being.
Yellow ... Was there not a yellowness moving all but
imperceptibly across the blue ...?
It began to assume a substance and a form ... A fiery
circle of yellow, haloed by streamers of the same hue ... like
a face surrounded by a corona of glowing golden hair ... like
the circular entrance to a long tunnel of light ... at the end
of which ... at the end of which ...
A spirit seemed to slowly come into being, which is to say
that, just as the clear blue emptiness had been disturbed by
the golden circle of light, so was the perfection of nonbeing
now trammeled by a desire, a tropism, a formless urge to
follow the yellow out of the blue to ... to ...
But then the golden circle began to deepen toward orange
as it drifted downward through the blue void, and the cerulean hue thereof began to darken toward purple, and I found
myself rising slowly to my feet, dimly aware of others like
myself, standing motionless and staring into the sunset as the
orange disc cracked the geometric precision of the horizon
and fractured the purple perfection of the vaulted sky with
rays of umber and somber red.
Yet as the sun was swallowed up into the black lake of
oncoming night, some dying ember of independent intellect seemed to
struggle up painfully from the depths of perfect
mindless bliss to blink torpidly at the tiny pinpoints of silver
that had begun to pierce the blackness of the sky.
For a few moments, as one by one the stars began to come
out, mayhap there was a spirit that recognized those silvery
speckles as such, for if fragmented memory plays me not
false, that spirit viewed them through a veil of liquid gauze,
as if weeping for the loss of something it could no longer
fathom, as if someone still knew that each of them was a
mighty sun, that up there in the heavens high above the
Bloomenveldt, circling round the stars, were the far-flung
worlds of men.
***
Just as memory marks not the divided hours of that first
seamless perfect day as a Bloomenkind, so too in the track of my memory does it seem but one long day that I passed
before the chance coincidence of sunrise and the turn of the
floral cycle came together to rouse me from the reasonless
creature of the forest that I had become.
The time came round at last when I awoke at
dawn, was
moved to breakfast on nectar, and was then transported by
what blew me on the wind not to eat of fruit or engage in
copulations, but to repose under a lavender bell in empty-minded meditation upon the cerulean void.
But chance, or mayhap what we style fortune, placed my
venue of repose so that, rather than fixing my gaze upon the
featureless perfection of the clear blue sky, I laid myself
down with my face to the east, to the rising sun, which at this
hour lay just above the eastern horizon bathing the Bloomenveldt in golden brilliance.
And as I lay there staring at the rising sun as it slowly began its ascent to the zenith, so did the angle of my gaze
imperceptibly rise with it, for my vision had been totally
captured by this single slow event in the timeless and featureless void of blue.
Mayhap the power of the flower was less total over one
who had once enjoyed sapience and then lost it than over
born and bred Bloomenkinder suckled at the very teats of the
forest in whom sapience had never arisen. Mayhap my previous conscious determination to follow the rising sun to the
east had so percolated down to the nether reaches of my
brain that it had attained, or from another viewpoint degenerated, to a simple tropism to rise up to follow the yellow,
even as many plants will keep their leaves and flowers turned
to a sun as it travels across the sky of day.
Be that as it may, some dim sort of vegetative awareness
began to slowly seep into the percept sphere of the creature
who lay on that leaf staring mindlessly at the golden sun
rising toward its apogee, painting the greenery of the
Bloomenveldt with a bright gloss of light that, rather than
emanating from the yellow face of glory, seemed to be ascending eastward and skyward toward it.
Which is not to say that anything resembling human sapience had returned, for this faint urge to rise up to the golden
face of the sunrise was no doubt no less a visual tropism than
those of the senses of smell and taste which had come to
command my hours.
Yet, dim and mindless though it be, this tropism was not a
command of the Bloomenveldt. Rather, I do now believe,
had the remnant of my sapient spirit succeeded in condensing all that had once been me into this single simple tropism
to follow the yellow face of the sun upward into the sky, for it
was a puissant compendium indeed from the point of view of
the consciousness trapped beneath the surface of my presently mindless brain.
For was that consciousness not named Sunshine, and had
that name not been given by a spirit whose face was haloed
by golden hair? Vraiment, had not I once consciously chosen
that selfsame golden rising sun as the ensign and guidepost of
my determination to attain once more the worlds of men?
Destiny had therefore chosen to place within my sphere of
vision in a state of florally induced hypnogogia an object of
precisely that color most likely to rouse my spirit from its
cerulean trance.
Slowly and without conscious thought, my right hand freed
itself from the nirvanic catatonia in which my body lay, and
like the heroine of a romance struggling under the crushing
gravity of a cruelly massive planet, it crawled agonizingly
across my waist and turned the knob of my floatbelt as far
clockwise as it would go. Then, as if exhausted by this effort,
it fell limply to the surface of the leaf by my side.
Which slowly fell away.
For, supine, still gazing fixedly at the object of my tropic
desire, propelled by the .1 g upward thrust of my floatbelt, I
had indeed begun to rise to meet the sun.
***
As my body slowly rose up through the levels and breezes
of the atmosphere, so too did my awareness rise slowly up
out of the depths of its nonbeing toward the golden light of
sapient consciousness. I can no more sharply define the moment when my spirit could fairly have been said to have
returned to full sovereignty than one may the morning after
remember the precise moment the night before when the
same passed over the line into sleep.
Suffice it to say that after some time I quite literally found
myself drifting slowly on the ever- changing breezes above the
Bloomenveldt, with my clothing in tatters, my face caked and
smeared with a vile crust of dried fruit pulps and saps, and
the vague but horrifying memories of what I had been forced
to become.
My first act of will, taken even before my consciousness
had fully cohered, was to turn down my floatbelt to .19
positive, and spy out a leaf as I came drifting down from
which I might establish a firm trajectory for my next leap to
the east.
Indeed, I hardly knew what I was doing or why until I had kicked off that leaf on a mighty bound toward that single smiling golden face in all this endless world of hostile green.
Then I shouted for the sheer need to hear a sapient human
voice. "Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the sun,
follow the yellow!"
For several more leaps, I continued to shout thusly until
the repetition fell into the rhythm of a chant, not really aware
then of what I was doing or why. But at length this mantric
return to verbality of a sort also served to restore the coherence of same to the stream of my thoughts, which is to say I
became more shrewdly cognizant of the method of what no
doubt would have appeared to an observing ear as my madness.
For in truth only then did I come to dimly comprehend the
means whereby some buried level of my mind had rescued
my sapient spirit from its dreamless slumber. Which is to say
I had recovered the wit necessary to realize that I had in fact
been following a self-imprinted visual tropism, which I had
now instinctively augmented with a verbal mantra acting
upon somewhat higher centers of my brain.
And rather than give over this mantra in the bright yellow
light of relative reason, I instead reduced its volume to a less
shrill level designed to preserve my voice for the long haul,
and crafted the words into a monotonous singsong rhythm
designed to drone it as deeply into the biologic levels of my
being as I could manage without being a perfect master of the
meditative arts. "Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the
sun, follow the yellow ..."
So too did I then expand modestly upon the lyric with a
final phrase which spoke of and to the higher purpose thereof.
"Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the Yellow Brick
Road ..."
This simple song did I chant endlessly and softly to myself
as I bounded across the Bloomenveldt. And far from distracting my higher thoughts from pragmatic considerations, the
perpetual chanting of this mantra served to calm and focus
them, for now I was all too cognizant of the true nature of my
predicament, and conscious as well of the only possible escape therefrom of which I could conceive.
For the brute fact was that I could not reach the coast
without food, and the pit of nonbeing from whence I had
barely managed to rouse myself to follow the rising sun was
the only source thereof for hundreds of kilometers.
Which is to say I had no choice but to risk this death of the
spirit not once more, but again, and again, and again, or die,
an even more final death of the body through starvation.
Indeed, as I had already learned far too well, given a sufficient level of fatigue and famishment, I would sooner or later
no longer retain the biologic energy to support a conscious
will, and be drawn by the perfumes to the fruit like a moth to
the flame.
Therefore, since I could count on no continuity of sapient
will to carry me through, indeed since all that was certain was that I
must suffer repeated loss of same in order to maintain
my body's vitality, my only course was to accomplish with
what I hoped was the greater puissance of conscious craft
what I had already once barely managed to achieve by accident of fate.
Which was to use these periods of conscious lucidity to
engrave a mantric tropism upon the presentient levels of my
mind with perpetual chanting repetition and diligent meditation, so that even when reason and conscious will had once
more fled, my Bloomenkind self would, during periods of
enforced floral nirvana, be programmed to follow the yellow,
to follow the sun that sooner or later must rise during a cycle
of such meditations into its percept sphere.
"Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the Yellow Brick
Road ..."
***
Of the days, or mayhap weeks, that I spent trekking eastward across the Bloomenveldt in this manner from one meal
of fruit to the next, there is little to be said that is not entirely
contained within the endless repetition of the mantra I had
given myself.
"Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the Yellow Brick
Road ..."
For this became the sole content of my periods of sapient
consciousness as well as the faint background music of the
timeless intervals I was constrained to pass as a Bloomenkind.
"Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the Yellow Brick
.Road ..."
Though at the time I knew no more of the science of
mantric imprinting or the art of autohypnosis than the simple techniques we are all taught in the early years of schooling,
some years later, upon delving deeper into the subject, I was
to learn just how puissant the mantric technique I had naively cobbled together out of bits and pieces of knowledge
and coincidence really was.
"Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the Yellow Brick
Road ..."
For what I had in fact done was crafted what the masters of
the art call a synergetic mantra, wherein a conventional mantric
rhythm keyed to the biorhythms of the consciousness in question is linked
to a simple verbal metaphor of deep meaning thereto. A visual mandala is then provided which is the
imagistic cognate thereof, so that the two most sovereign
senses are merged into receptors for a single synergetic image of sight
and sound, which, by becoming the content of
the sensorium entire, focuses consciousness down to a single
imperative.
Under proper conditions and the direction of a true perfect
master of the art, an appropriate incense is also provided, as
well as a psychotropic selected to induce the desired kinesthetic percept-state, so that no sensory data not linked to the
synergetic mantra may intrude. Though I knew it not at the
time, I had happened upon a technique oft times applied by
adepts of the martial arts, Healers, and perfect masters of the
meditative sciences.
And while I was constrained to serve as my own perfect
master as best I could, chance, necessity, the perfume of the
lavender bells, and what little art I possessed had conspired
to create a synergetic mantra of which the greatest of such
mages could be proud.
"Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the Yellow Brick
Road ..."
The visual component thereof had been pared to the simplest possible mandalic formulation: a yellow circle,
archetype of a life-giving sun. Nor could a perfect master have
done much better with the drone of similar syllables contained within the mantra.
So no matter how often hunger drove me to the fruits and
perfumes of a Bloomenkinder garden, and no matter how
many cycles I passed in utter thrall thereto, the inevitable
processing of these selfsame cycles of eating, copulation, and
hypnogogic repose must sooner or later place me beneath a
meditative flower in an early morning hour beneath the rising
sun.
Whereupon that visual mandala would inevitably call forth
the chanting of the mantra synesthetically linked thereto ...
"Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the Yellow Brick
Road ..."
And this in turn would generate the stylized motion of my
hand turning the control knob of my floatbelt, and I would
rise slowly up into the air high above the Bloomenveldt until
some semblance of sapience returned, like a mystic bodhi
levitating out of maya by sheer force of will.
"Follow the sun, follow the yellow. follow the Yellow Brick
Road ..."
Only by virtue of my possession of this single nonfloral
tropism might I have been said to in any way distinguish
myself as a self-motivated creature from the Bloomenkinder
of the forest.
For just as the mantra had become the sole content of my
being when I was constrained to sojourn among the Bloomenkinder, so was my mind incapable of encompassing any other
thought as I bounded eastward across the Bloomenveldt. So if
the foregoing description of this stage of my journey across
the Bloomenveldt may seem to lack something in terms of its
recounting of the linear skein of events, the truth of the
matter is that the human personality of the teller of this tale was for all practical purposes absent as a memory-binding
witness from the corpus moving through them.
Just as the voice and speech patterns of a person long dead
may be encoded into an electronic matrix and cunningly
manipulated to produce an artificial personality with which
one may even discourse, my body followed a program impressed upon it by a vacated spirit, but in truth no one was at
home.
***
Nor would anything that might fairly be called true sapience return until the mantric cycle was perforce broken by a
decided turn for the worse, and even then the teller of the
tale would have been hard-put to recognize the same in the
babbling apparition resulting therefrom had I chanced to
encounter her on some civilized street.
"Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the Yellow Brick
Road . .."
Guided by the shadows cast before me by a sun sinking
well past its zenith, I was drifting gently downward toward
the next in an endless succession of leafy springboards when --
-- All at once, the rhythm of chanting, soaring, landing,
and kicking off again was abruptly shattered by a sudden
plunge from about ten meters up that had me slamming into
a leaf with such unexpected force that my knees buckled, and
I staggered forward into a half-roll, and then fell on my chest
skidding across the surface toward the brink of a five hundred
meter fall to the forest floor.
Sheer animal reflex reached out with both hands to grip
the edge of the leaf as the front half of my body slid out into
vertiginous space, and I hung there supported by my arms
and the suddenly considerable weight of my lower torso in a
state of absolute adrenal terror before summoning up sufficient awareness to haul myself back to safety.
No doubt nothing less could have shocked back a return to
even such sapient consciousness as I now enjoyed. Which is
to say that in the backflush of adrenal arousal, an ego reappeared to the extent that I was aware of just how close I had
come to sudden and horrible death. As well, with the breath
knocked out of my body, I had for the moment given over my
chanting.
But that was about the extent of it. By now my throat and
lips were no longer needed to keep the mantra vibrating in
my brain, and as for the sun, as for the yellow, as for the
Yellow Brick Road, the tropism to press onward to the east
had in no way diminished.
I scrambled to my feet and bent my legs to kick off into the
next leap, and then it was that something even more primal than the
imperative of tropism, some kinesthetic animal instinct, intervened. Rather than leap with all my power in the
direction of the eastern horizon, which under the circumstances might very well have meant my death, I essayed a
tentative jump straight upward, with no more intelligence
behind it than that of a wounded animal testing its strength.
Instead of soaring
on high, I went up about a meter and
came down hard.
Then it was that some semblance of true consciousness
returned to inform my cerebral centers of what my body's
instincts had already known.
My weight had returned to Belshazaar normal.
The power core of my floatbelt had expired.
Although I was incapable of such technological appraisal at
the time, the obvious truth of the matter was that I had
overtaxed the energy reserves of my floatbelt by employing it
in a manner for which it had never been intended, to wit,
repeated and overly prolonged use at full upward thrust.
But the import of the catastrophe was all too clear even to
the dim creature who stood there on a leaf, dwarfed now to
an even greater degree by the green immensity of the
Bloomenveldt, and who now tremulously resumed her mantric
chant in a new minor note of despair.
"Follow the sun ... follow the yellow ... follow the
Yellow Brick Road ..."
Vraiment, the yellow sun still shone in the sky behind me
casting lengthening shadows toward the eastern horizon, and the Yellow
Brick Road still lay before me, nor was the compulsion to follow it in any way diminished. But now I could
only inch along it by the frail power of my unaided feet.
"Follow the sun ... follow the yellow ... follow the
Yellow Brick Road ..."
Chanting my poor mantra, following my distant star, mercifully unmindful of the full hopelessness of my task, I set one
foot before the other and began my long march across the Bloomenveldt, an insect reduced to crawling across an endless hostile savannah under the pitiless gaze of indifferent
gods.
Chapter 22
Traversing the Bloomenveldt as a groundling was a far cry from bounding across it in
great soaring leaps as a relatively blithe creature of the air. Not only did it take half a
day and more to cover the same distance
that I had previously traversed in a few long
leaps, now I could rely only on my own care and agility to
save me from a terminal fall to the forest floor.
Thus the transitional step from one leaf to another had
become a matter of some significance and forethought, and
what had once seemed the minor rises and dips of the surface
now assumed strategic significance, for without a usable
floatbelt, I could only spy out the lay of the land before me
by ascending the relative heights of the taller tree crowns.
And while the passage of the sun across the sky and the
direction of the shadows it cast were sufficient to keep me
following the yellow, the lay of the land ahead assumed dire
significance when it came to keeping my spirit on the Yellow
Brick Road. For now if I stumbled unaware into the pheromonic influence of a grove of flowers, or even of a single
sufficiently cunning bloom, there would be little hope that I
would ever set foot on that road to sapience again.
As for the consciousness animating the creature gingerly
picking her way from leaf to leaf and pausing three or four times an hour
to scout ahead and plan out a safe path between the flowers, this began to evolve further toward sapience under the evolutionary pressure of the more complex
behavior that brute survival now required, just as our species
had long ago evolved out of presentience when it began its
long march from the mindless Eden of the trees.
For I was forced to consider every footfall, I was forced to
scout ahead, I was forced to memorize a safe path through
the future landscape and achieve a level of cognitive abstraction sufficient to follow this mental map of the landscape
through the moment-to-moment existence of the realtime
present.
Indeed, such a sophisticated perception of the relationship
between space and time might very well be said to be the
minimal definition of sapience itself.
So by the time the sun had begun to sink behind the
western horizon, it might be fairly said that some semblance of the "I" who tells the tale had returned to inhabit the brain
of the protagonist thereof.
I knew that soon I must select a leaf of relative safety upon
which to spend the night, for it would not be long before
every flower of the Bloomenveldt would begin to exude the
irresistible perfume of sleep. And upon selecting same and
settling down on it, I had achieved a level of consciousness all-too-able to reflect upon its plight.
I had no concept of how long I had been traveling, how far
I had come, or how much more Bloomenveldt lay between
me and the succor of the coast. I had only the dimmest
notion of how long the human body might continue to function without food, mayhap a matter of weeks for a perfect
master of the yogic arts, but certainement a matter of mere days for such as myself. But I knew with only too much
certainty that, without my floatbelt to extract me toward the
sunrise, to eat of the fruit of the Bloomenveldt, or even
approach within smelling distance of the flowers thereof,
would mean my sapient doom.
I, who to say the least had never been a devotee of the
ascetic disciplines, would have to essay a fast of heroic proportions. Moreover, in order to do so, I must never for a
moment allow my conscious will to once more lose sovereignty over the imperatives of the
flesh, for the time would
inevitably come when my very cells would cry out for nourishment, and if no "I" was present to provide restraint, no "I"
would ever return from the mindless realm of the Bloomenkinder.
And while the mantra continued to vibrate in my brain
even when my lips were sealed, and the golden face of the sun continued to shine in my mind's eye even as the first
stars of night began to appear in the blackening sky, I knew full well
that mere tropism would not be sufficient to maintain the conscious awareness which now swore an oath to
itself that the body in which it arose would expire before the
human spirit therein gave up the ghost.
"Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the Yellow Brick
Road ..."
As I sat there on my leaf, determined that if I must die in
this uncaring vastness it would at least be as a sapient being
who deserved to call herself human even to the end, the
mantra ringing in my brain and the golden mandala filling my
mind's eye began to take on new complexities of meaning, or
rather the message I had left for myself in the simple tropism
which had brought a mindless creature through hundreds of
kilometers of Bloomenveldt began to exfoliate its layers of
meaning in the reemergent mind of the human spirit who
had coded it into her backbrain in the first place.
"Before the singer was the song, which has carried our
kind from the trees to the stars," Pater Pan had often enough
declaimed, and vraiment, where was I now but cast back into
the treetops of presentience from whence long ago our species had begun its gallant march to sapience and the stars?
And what was the Yellow Brick Road I now sought to travel
but the recapitulation of our species' phylogeny via my own
personal ontogeny? Vraiment, as the most ancient lore of our
species has it, in the beginning was the Word, the tale we
told ourselves as we wandered from apes into men, the tale
the Piper told still.
Tattered, begrimed and besmeared with the juices and
pulps of the fruits of forgetfulness and the sweats and stains of
literally unspeakable acts, the Cloth of Many Colors still tied
about my waist seemed the banner of all that remained of
who I had been and who I must now struggle to once more
become -- Sunshine Shasta Leonardo, Child of Fortune, Gypsy
Joker, ruespieler.
For was it not the Word which had created our humanity
in the first place? Might it therefore not carry me back from
the forest of unreason once more along the Yellow Brick Road
that led homeward to the sapient worlds of men? Out here on
the Bloomenveldt there might be no one to hear my tales but
myself, but there was something far more precious than
ruegelt to be won or lost.
And so there in the treetops, I summoned up my courage
as once I had in the Luzplatz in Great Edoku, and into the
darkness, into the loneliness, into an utter insensate indifference far deeper and more terrible than that of any audience
of Edojin, I raised up my voice and began to spiel for the
survival of my soul.
"The Spark of the Ark!" I declared to myself, and launched
into a bizarre version indeed of Lance Della Imre's favorite
tale, in which my clouded memory and my present concerns
combined to rewrite it into a song of myself.
"Say not that the Arkies of the First Starfaring Age meekly
gave up the ghost to the flowers when a way of life that had
existed since the first Child of Fortune dared climb down
from the trees was lost on the Bloomenveldt. For the Spark of
the Ark which led us along the Yellow Brick Road out of the
forest of unreason when we were wage slaves of the Pentagon
is with us today in the Arkie Sparkie heart of the teller of this
tale ..."
Short on art, mayhap, and certainement shorter on verbal
coherence, it all rolled out in a glorious hebephrenia, as after
aeons of naught but the same mantric drone, I reveled in the
sound of a sapient human voice spieling the story of my own
soul. Never has any ruespieler had a less critical or more
appreciative audience than I was for myself!
Nor did the audience jade or the ruespieler tire until the
nighttime perfumes of the Bloomenveldt rang down the curtain of sleep on the performance.
***
In the morning, I arose spieling still, declaiming melanges of every tale I knew to myself, and transmogrifying them into
my own singular song of the Yellow Brick Road.
"Follow the sun, follow the yellow, follow the Piper of the Yellow Brick Road, who was born when first I climbed down
from our ancestral flowers, and who from that day unto this
has taken us leaf by leaf along our Mardi Gras parade to the
dawn of the Second Starfaring Age in the long slow centuries
between here and the coast ..."
Babbling thusly, I set first one halting step on the Yellow
Brick Road eastward, and then another and another, following the command of my own tale.
No doubt any Healer in attendance at this stage of my
journey would have judged me mad, for it cannot be denied
that what he would have observed was a gaunt and starveling
creature exhibiting clear symptoms of hebephrenic cafard.
For hour by hour, day by day, the longer I walked, the
more famished I became, and the more I filled my ears with
bits and pieces of half-remembered ruespielers' tales, the
more the parts of the many became an infinitely recomplicated
mantra of the one, of the only tale there presently was to tell.
Indeed if psychosis, as the Healers do claim, is a disjunction between the events of the external realm and the images
thereof presented by the sensorium to the brain, if a dissolution of the interface between the journey across the wilderness of the treetops and my spirit's journey via my tale was
mere psychic dysfunction, then by such an objective definition, vraiment, I was quite insane.
But those same Healers could not deny that such a malaise
may only arise in a sapient brain. Which is to say I was at
least still capable of human sanity or its equally human converse.
Whereas those whom science could only judge perfectly adapted to the external reality of the Bloomenveldt
were the mindless Bloomenkinder thereof.
***
From the point of view of objective scientific reportage,
there would be nothing of concrete substance to relate but an
endless repetition of the round of any given day.
I arise already spieling. My stomach screams its starvation,
and the hollow throbbing of my head sends sparkles of static
confetti across my visual sphere. I fill my belly with water
collected from the hollow of a leaf.
I turn my face to the golden visage of the rising sun, and I
walk, babbling to myself. I walk until the sun has passed its
zenith, and I walk until it has set in the west. I walk through
the gathering darkness until I am inching along by feel alone.
I walk until the perfumes of night slide me into dreamless
sleep.
***
Time, the mages have long told us against the evidence of
the senses, is not a regularly spaced absolute along which
events are strung linearly like beads. Rather it is a relationship among points in a four-dimensional space-time matrix, so
that when events vary we perceive an interval of time between them. But within a crystal lattice of space-time wherein
events are identical, we perceive them as a simultaneous one.
As without, so within, for the mages tell us too that dreams
that seem to last for eternities in the consciousness of the
dreamer occur within literal augenblicks when the duration of
their electrical discharge is measured by instruments.
So too have gurus, shamans, mystics, sufis, and masters
perfect or otherwise, alluded time out of mind, if with less
scientific precision, to a state of being in which events are
perceived with the transtemporal logic of dreams and quantum cosmology, called variously the Tao, the Ein-Sof, the
Einsteinian universe, the Great and Only, the Dreamtime.
The ancient tribe who sought by just such famishment and
mantric declaiming as I now employed to take their willed
Walkabouts through the Dreamtime named it best for this
teller of the tale attempting to recall her passage through it.
For any ordinary Healer will tell you that the consciousness arising in the brain of a starving body will sooner or later
begin to blur across the line separating waking awareness
from sleep, so, that as the flesh begins to expire, the spirit
begins its Walkabout through its final time of dreams.
As to when I could have been said to have passed over into
the Dreamtime, je ne sais pas, for we never remember the
crossing over from the waking realm into dream, still less so
when we continue to set one foot down after the other long
afterward, dreaming our Walkabout on our feet.
Certainement, the golden face of the sun in the blue sky
above the Bloomenveldt that I perceived would have registered on any astronomical instrument. Certainement, I was
not dreaming that I began to direct my spiel toward this solar
audience.
But when the corona of light haloing the sun began to
coalesce into a nimbus of golden hair, when it seemed to me
that there was a pattern of human features on the face thereof,
vraiment, when it started to speak, then surely had I long
since passed over into the Dreamtime.
Was this hallucination, dream, or true translation into the
Great and Only Tao? Who is to say which? Indeed, how is
one to even make such distinctions? For are not hallucinations, dreams, and arcane mystic visions all the tales that the
spirit somehow contrives to tell to itself?
So if the Pater Pan who spoke to me out of the face of the
sun was a conjuration of my dreaming brain, and the words
that he spoke were only part of my own tale, had not the song
that I sang to myself been learned from the very man who
now spoke in the dream? Thus might I have been dreaming it
all, but thus too did the true spirit of a lover contrive to
frustrate the constraints of space and time to be with me in
my hour of need on the Bloomenveldt.
"Follow the Piper of the Yellow Brick Road, follow the
Pied Piper of the Bloomenkinder back from our ancestral
flowers, muchacha," Pater Pan said as we sat together naked
by a crystal pool in a pleasure garden high on a plateau in
Great Edoku, even as I was walking across the surface of one
more leaf.
For the landscape through which I journeyed had now
taken on a nondualistic logic precisely like that of a lucid
dream. For while I could perceive a yellow sun shining above
an endless green plain with sufficient awareness to maintain
an eastward vector, like a lucid dream, the tale 1 was telling
myself had the power to at the same time conjure up an
overlay of visions in the Dreamtime.
"Once we were all Bloomenkinder in the Perfumed Garden of Eden, Sunshine," Pater told me as he swirled his
Cloth of Many Colors around his shoulders and declaimed his
name tale. "Now I will lead you to the Gold Mountain even
as I led you out of the city of the Pentagon to the long slow
centuries between the stars."
And now, even as some part of me knew that my body was
still trudging across the Bloomenveldt in a state rapidly approaching total famishment, in the Dreamtime
I was wandering the streets of Great Edoku, alone, out of funds, with my
bladder demanding protoplasmic relief exactly as my stomach
cried out for food in the treetops.
"Remember?" said Pater's voice in my ear. "Remember
when you became a free creature living by your wits in the
streets of Great Edoku?"
While I threaded my way among the great leaves of the
treetops, I was tracking two Gypsy Jokers through the streets
and parklands in search of their carnival, and when I stared at
the golden face of Belshazaar's sun, it was my first eye to eye
meeting with Pater Pan outside our shower stalls.
"It has taken us millennia of diligent tale-telling to create
the ultimate triumph of the ruespieler's art, our own magnificent sapient selves," Pater said as we stood there admiring
each other. "Have you not noticed your gift of gab?" he said
as we lay on the bed in his tent.
"So keep telling the tale of the Pied Piper of the Bloomenveldt, muchacha," he said as he concluded his farewell to the
Gypsy Jokers reclining on bonsaied mountains.
At last I found my own voice in the Dreamtime. "What is
the tale of the Pied Piper of the Bloomenveldt?" I heard
myself say.
And at the sound of my own words, I was transported to
the most arcane Dreamtime of all. I was walking across the
Bloomenveldt now even in my dream, and I was following
Belshazaar's sun toward the coast, and the only disjunction
between the observable reality and the Dreamtime of my
spirit was that in the Dreamtime Pater Pan walked beside
me.
"The only tale there is to tell," he said with a strange
smile.
"How does this tale end?" I demanded.
"This tale never ends, ruespieler."
As I heard myself discoursing with this animus within a
Dreamtime landscape identical to that of the waking realm,
the spell of the Walkabout began to unravel, as within any
dream, one may upon occasion talk oneself awake, or as an
event of sufficient import transmogrifying itself into Dreamtime imagery may rouse the sleepwalker back into the dream
of life.
"When will I awake from it?" I said as Pater Pan's image
began to fade like a Bloomenveldt mist burning off into the
rising sun.
"When the Pied Piper leads the Bloomenkinder of Hamelin
back to the far-flung worlds of men," said the face of the sun
as I trudged across the foliage.
"Then don't leave me out here without your song!" I shouted
as the vision began to fade.
"Pas problem, lady fair," said a disembodied voice. "For
now you know who the Pied Piper of the Bloomenveldt is, do
you not, ruespieler ...?"
"Anyone who tells the tale!"
And I emerged from
the Dreamtime with the words ringing from my lips across the Bloomenveldt. I was now once
more confronted with a sea of wind-tossed green under a hot
yellow sun, and there was no Pater Pan at my side, nor the
sound of any voice save my own and that of the breezes
murmuring through the branches. I was faint and lightheaded
from a hunger pushed deep down beneath stomach pains into
cellular famishment, indeed 1 was a teetering crouched figure
whose very metabolism was about to collapse.
But I was not alone.
For whether the Piper who had brought me thither was a
figment out of the tale I was telling myself in the Dreamtime
or whether some quantum vapor of a lover's spirit had somehow succored me therein, or whether these are indeed the
same in a manner which no waking consciousness may comprehend, my Walkabout through the Dreamtime with that
spirit guide had in any event brought me to this single purple
flower .
Four human figures
sat on its velvety petals avidly devouring round yellow fruit. The corpulence of their frames and
the tattered bits of cloth still clinging to them gave unmistakable evidence that these had once been sapient citizens of the
worlds of men.
During my passage through the Dreamtime, I had put the
land of the Bloomenkinder behind me. Only the borderland
region of lost civilized souls lay between me and the coast.
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