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by Mary Finnigan
(from the London
paper, The Guardian, 10/01/95)
The Tibetan lama
Sogyal Rimpoche is being sued for $10 million in the United States by a
woman who alleges sexual harassment, coercion and abuse. Sogyal (Rimpoche
is an honorary title meaning Precious Jewel) has been teaching Buddhist
meditation for more than 20 years, with a world-wide following and
meditation centres known as The Rigpa Fellowship in London, France,
Ireland, America and Australia. He is the author of a best-seller, The
Tibetan Book of Living And Dying, and appeared in Bertolucci's film Little
Buddha. The Rigpa Fellowship in London has issued a letter informing its
members that a suit has been brought against Sogyal Rimpoche. Although he
is not a monk, and has not taken vows of celibacy, he is accused of using
his position to obtain sexual favours. Allegations like these threaten to
blow a hole in the aura of asceticism and austerity surrounding Buddhism
in the West.
In the late 1960s,
western hippies seeking spiritual enlightenment were drawn to the
Tibetans' exuberant, colourful style. Tibet was seen as a Buddhist
Shangri-La -- a far cry from the reality of a country under repressive
Chinese occupation.
In the seventies,
rumours started to circulate about other globe-trotting Buddhist gurus,
who were said to be seducing their students and behaving more like
spiritual barons than spiritual mentors, exercising _droit du seigneur_
among their followers. The late Trungpa Rimpoche was one of the first
high-ranking Tibetan lamas to learn English, which he studied at Oxford in
the mid-sixties. He fathered a child while still a monk, discarded his
robes and settled in America, where he gained a reputation as an inspired
meditation teacher. He became a role model for others, including Sogyal
Rimpoche. He was also an alcoholic and a notorious womaniser. He died of
drink in 1987. Before his death, he chose Osel Tenzin, an American student
as his Successor. Osel died of Aids, after passing the HIV virus to
several of his students.
Although not all
Tibetan teachers are monks - many have renounced their vows and some are
from non-celibate traditions - if a sexual relationship arises, the
imbalance of power in the teacher-pupil relationship can lay the student
open to abuse. Many Buddhists see this as a contravention of the moral
code which frowns on all actions that cause harm.
At a conference of
western Buddhist teachers in India last year, the Dalai Lama urged
delegates not to be afraid of criticising corrupt gurus. "If you cannot
find any other way of dealing with the problem," he said, "tell the
newspapers."
Last year, an
American woman and former pupil of Sogyal decided to bring a civil case
anonymously, and was allowed by the court in Santa Cruz, California, to
use the pseudonym Janice Doe. She says in her suit that she approached
Sogyal at a time of a time of confusion, shortly after her fathers death.
According to the suit, Sogyal told her that "through devotion and his
spiritual instruction, she could purify her family's karma". The woman
alleges he seduced her the next day, claiming that she would be
"strengthened and healed by having sex with him".
However unconvincing
such an argument may sound, the Zen priest Yvonne Rand, who is counselling
Janice Doe, points out that the relationship between guru and disciple is
one of power and submission. People who seek guidance from a spiritual
master want to believe what he or she tells them.
"Many women who seek
out spiritual teachers come from dysfunctional families. They may have
experienced physical and/or sexual abuse, had no father or bad father
relationships, so are looking for a good father. This creates blind spots
in their perception of a teacher."
Rand is emphatic
that such high risk relationships rarely benefit both parties. This
opinion is shared by other women who have had sexual liaisons with their
gurus.
"I was touched by
his need for me," says one, who had a long relationship with a lama, "but
it was difficult and strange, in no way a normal relationship. It fuelled
my fantasies about having special qualities, but he debunked them. I felt
empowered by him but though he treated me with respect, I was always aware
he had other lovers."
Another woman speaks
of the confusion that arose from being first a humble devotee, then an
exalted sexual partner, then back in the ranks again. "I felt used," she
says "He put his needs above mine."
More recently, a
young English woman attended a residential retreat. She thought she had
been singled out for special attention only to discover that she was being
invited to join a harem. "At first I was flattered, and very open and
trusting. He encouraged me to fall in love with him - but I realised that
he was toying with me. I noticed several other young, pretty women going
in and out of his apartment, when I confronted him with this, he dropped
me for the rest of the time I was there."
Did she learn
anything from her intimacy with the guru? "He gave me good advice, but I
am left with a hangover of pain and confusion. I also have doubts about
Buddhism. If anything, I have learnt to be more cautious."
Rand and the British
Buddhist teacher Ngakpa Chogyam Rimpoche share the view that the majority
of westerners sign up too quickly with their gurus and find themselves in
a much more intense relationship than they had bargained for. This is
especially true of Tibetan Tantric Buddhism which, at an advanced level,
incorporates sexual union into spiritual practice.
Rand believes that
westerners often fail to make the distinction between a teacher who helps
along the way and a guru who is an enlightened being.
"Some Tibetan lamas
do not see themselves as accountable in the western sense of the word,"
says Ngakpa Chogyam. "They get blown off-centre by too much adulation."
This potential for
adulation makes it vital that teachers accept responsibility for the well
being of their students. Responsibility must include, if not celibacy,
then extreme care with sex. According to psychologist Deborah Clarke,
everyone who enters into a spiritual or therapeutic relationship is
vulnerable to exploitation.
"I'd be furious if a
guru made a pass at me," she says. "They should all know by now that
people with that sort of power have a moral and ethical duty not to abuse
it."
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