Why Give Gifts To Others?

Scientific studies have shown that giving gifts improves circulation, stimulates the heart, and can result in friendship, enhanced communication, sometimes even courtship and marriage.  At Amazon, you can order wedding rings and bridal gowns, even if you can't get a same-sex marriage license.

If there's someone you can't seem to connect with, give them something, and watch the change.  For example, instead of telling someone to "Take a hike!" you could give them a tent like this one for less than $60.

If you pick your gift carefully, for example by picking up on the fact that all bankers golf, and thus give your banker a golf book, you could even reduce your interest rate.

Books, videos and music make good gifts, and also can have enduring value. 

Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon," for example, has been played so many times that it has actually worn a shallow groove in the axis of time.  Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats" has left scratchmarks on the screendoor of history.  The ghostly image of Elvis will be forever impressed on the etheric fabric of this space-time continuum, right next to the fainter, but no less significant figure of Mr. Spock, displaying the Vulcan salute.

* 2001: A Space Odyssey * Aretha Franklin * Basquiat Original Soundtrack * Beastie Boys * Blade Runner Soundtrack* Bob Dylan * Buffalo Springfield * Burning London -- The Clash Tribute * Butthole Surfers * Chumbawamba * Concrete Blonde * Crazy Horse * Cream * Cry Baby Soundtrack * Darken My Fire -- A Gothic Tribute to the Doors * David Bowie * Desperado The Soundtrack * Donovan * Fits of Passion * Frank Black * Palestrina * Green Day * Grosse Pointe Blank Soundtrack * Gun Club * Hairspray Soundtrack * Henryk Gorecki * Icehouse * Iggy Pop * James Brown * Jethro Tull * Joan Baez * John Lennon * Johnny Cash * Joni Mitchell * Joy Division * Judy Collins * Laurindo Almeida * Leonard Cohen * Les Nubiennes * Little Shop of Horrors * Loreena McKennitt * Madonna * Maria Callas * Marilyn Manson * Meat Puppets * Mexico and Mariachis * Mozart * Neil Young * Nick Drake * Nirvana * Paris, Texas, Soundtrack * "Performance" Soundtrack * Pink Floyd * REM * R. L. Burnside * Ramblin' Jeffrey Lee * Red Hot + Blue * Red Hot Chili Peppers * Repo Man Soundtrack * Robyn Hitchcock * Robyn Hitchcock & the Egyptians * Rock 'N' Roll High School * Run Lola Run * Steeleye Span * T-Bone Burnett * Taj Mahal * Take It Off, Strip Tease Classics * The Dickies * The Doors * The Fugees * The Hunger Soundtrack * The New Autonomous Folksingers * The Pretenders * The Ramones * The Sisters of Mercy * The White Stripes * The Wired CD * Tom Waits *   Tower of Power * Trio * Until The End of the World Soundtrack * Violent Femmes * Warren Zevon * We're A Happy Family -- A Tribute to Ramones * We Will Fall -- The Iggy Tribute * Wild at Heart Soundtrack * Yoko Ono

 Winamp plays ABOL MP3s and videos

Why Give Gifts to Yourself?

It is said that if you shock a group of rats regularly and never give them any rewards, they die, but that if you stimulate their pleasure centers occasionally, you can shock them just as much as it would take to kill them, and they'll survive.  I take my lessons where I can find them, and that was a keeper.  When somebody's bustin' your chops, make sure you work in a little fun.

If you have a lot of money, you could buy a copy of Peter Hegre's "My Wife," for $400.  That would cheer you up.  On the other hand, for that money, you could get a CD of "Road to Ruin" by the Ramones, a copy of Hunter Thompson's "Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas," a dartboard with Bush's face on it, and still have enough left over to go out for an expensive date.  Just depends how you want to live.  Amazon can help you do it all.

People Who Give Too Much

What about too much giving, you ask?  Is it possible to give too much?  In my opinion, yes.  For example, it is giving too much to give publicans any measure of credit for any good thing, because it is only the liberal in them that can do any good.  But the only danger of giving too many books is that people will think you're a bibliophile, and there are certainly worse things.  Give people too much cookware, and they'll probably invite you over for dinner.  Give people too much music, and they'll probably start giving you theirs.  Give them too much medicine, and they'll probably take care of you in your old age.  It's rare in fact to find a person who died of giving, or even who became sick from it.  But if you do have a problem, Amazon can help with that.

Gifts for Sinners & Saints

Although religious people often talk about giving, they usually have their hands out, so my policy is to give so much to the sinners that I have nothing left for the saints.  Sinners are more fun to shop for, but if you love some angels, rest assured, Amazon has harps!

Charles' Primer   Online Media Law, PLLC