STEVEN SEAGAL COMES OUT OF THE BUDDHIST CLOSET |
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by Charles Carreon In 2002 Shambhala Sun, the shameful house organ of the Vajradhatu mafia, published a pathetic softball interview of phony tulku Steven Seagal. The interviewer in "Steven Seagal Speaks" feeds Seagal one easy question after another, and never once follows up with a pointed interrogation. The interviewer points out none of the obvious contradictions in Seagal's flow of blather. I've read more incisive interviews of Miss America. There's a stink of piety and obeisance to the questions, which are spiked with Trungpa-esque phrases like "finding your seat," which give it that "insider" flavor. (See Trungpa's poem to Osel Tendzin urging him to "find his seat." http://www.american-buddha.com/might.tired.htm) Tendzin famously misfired while enjoying his seat, causing one of his students, and the student's girlfriend, to die of AIDS. But he had such a sunny disposition in the face of tragedy, that he is quoted as saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, the point is not to live as long as possible." Shambhala Sun has never covered the topic of Tendzin's murders, imposing a complete blackout on this topic. Although Tendzin is venerated by the Shambhaloids, who have reinvented him as a teacher with a "provocative" style, there is no information about him on the Shambhala Sun website, except for that one quote above, drawn from a doctor-devotee's essay. No, instead of real information about their crash-and-burn gurus, the Shambhala Sun is working to shore up the reputation of Steven Seagal, who dropped out of the sky like the meteor in David Spade's hilarious sendup of redneck life, "Joe Dirt." http://www.jackasscritics.com/movie.php?movie_key=52 .The Seagal interview is by screenwriter Stanley Weiser ("Wall Street" 1989). His Seagal interview is so soft-brained , I thought maybe he wrote "The Karate Kid." It must be the air in Los Angeles; either that, or the number of gurus that swing through the town. Whatever the cause, Weiser takes Seagal seriously, as only a fellow show-business person can. Willing suspension of disbelief is the key here. Seagal swings from one contradictory statement to another. First he says he was born with a spiritual bent, and that he's on earth only to do good. Then he admits he suffered delusions of grandeur when he was young, and now he understands things better. But his "better" understanding is the same one he had when he was young -- that he needs to achieve great spiritual wisdom to benefit human beings. He says he's meditated a long time, but then admits tantra confuses him. He says he wouldn't give a bribe to be called a tulku, but admits making large donations to religious organizations. He claims he keeps his donations secret, and complains that the press hasn't publicized his generosity. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's let the man speak for himself. All quotes are accurate, though they have been rearranged in order to highlight contradictions.
SEAGAL wrote: In other words, "Yes, and it's long overdue."
SEAGAL wrote: "You see, I've been spiritually advanced from birth, like all tulkus."
SEAGAL wrote: "I used to be impressed with my inborn wisdom-talent. Now I am beyond any delusions involving self-importance."
SEAGAL wrote: "Like all of the Great Ones, my mission is healing."
SEAGAL wrote: "I have tried to hide my light from the world, actively concealing my divinity."
SEAGAL wrote: "For that matter, why would I now argue in favor of my divinity when I have in the past denied it?"
SEAGAL wrote: "You will find no record of my donations anywhere, both because I hate publicizing good deeds, and because those damned reporters hate me."
SEAGAL wrote: "You know, it's just something you get used to."
SEAGAL wrote: "I supported violent resistance, but that's top secret, and bad for my image. Nobody understands what it's like to be a secret agent bodhisattva."
SEAGAL wrote: "I keep secrets, which are dark things I will not talk about. I also keep things private, about which I am happy to tell you, because I must use them as evidence of my long-time connection with all things Tibetan."
SEAGAL wrote: "You won't be able to verify any of my claims, because like I said, it was private, because I didn't want the attention. Now I want the attention."
SEAGAL wrote: "He didn't recognize me as Yudra Nyingpo, but he 'basically' recognized me as this other guy, who was his reincarnation."
SEAGAL wrote: "Do not try to get any details out of me."
SEAGAL wrote: "Many lamas kiss my ass. Perhaps they have heard about my secret donations."
SEAGAL wrote: "For example, I am a huge man who could break your head with my fist. It's not important."
SEAGAL wrote: "Let's talk about something I know about, okay?"
SEAGAL wrote: "All of the Great Ones deny being great. I fit the mold."
SEAGAL wrote: "Of course, you already heard about the 27 years, the Tibetans recognizing me as divine, and my special talents in meditation, so you know this is just more of my humble schtick."
SEAGAL wrote: "Have another helping!"
SEAGAL wrote: "Name dropping really works with Tibetan Buddhists, so bombs away!"
SEAGAL wrote: "I just keep it simple. Like Elvis Costello said, 'What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?'"
SEAGAL wrote: "So glad I'm over that obstacle!"
SEAGAL wrote: "A total dead end."
SEAGAL wrote: "Once people realize you're divine, it's all over. They will deify you. Didn't want to make the same mistakes here, so I just laid low."
SEAGAL wrote: "I've just learned to take it in stride. I'm huge, I'm handsome, I'm rich. And on top of it all, I'm divine. The adulation is just part of the scene."
SEAGAL wrote: "If anyone will listen, I need the practice."
SEAGAL wrote: "This sort of thing worked for Charlie Manson, why not for me? Just talk bullshit and let it roll."
SEAGAL wrote: "I heard that some guy named Naropa saw his guru as a dog. I been thinkin' a lot about that."
SEAGAL wrote: "He knows I make movies in which I kill lots of people."
SEAGAL wrote: "Just had to ask that, didn't you?"
SEAGAL wrote: "I swear I never think about it."
SEAGAL wrote: "Blondes, bucks, flashy cars, all mean nothing to me. What I want is all stuff I can imagine in my head just as well without a dime in my pocket. In fact, I'm about to give away all my stuff, I'm feeling so solaced about it all."
SEAGAL wrote: "But my arms aren't long enough."
SEAGAL wrote: "That's me and some other people I can't mention."
SEAGAL wrote: "This is my best shot at profundity. Watch that I don't drown."
SEAGAL wrote: "I learned about emanations recently. I like to use the word, but maybe this isn't the best way."
SEAGAL wrote: "It is fun to be honest sometimes."
SEAGAL wrote: "I am drowning. Please help me."
SEAGAL wrote: "I agreed to kill people on film in exchange for millions, not realizing I would someday want to pose as a man of peace. By the time this tulku option opened up, I was stuck."
SEAGAL wrote: "Yeah, like I was gonna do "Hamlet" for the BBC, and a special with the Muppets."
SEAGAL wrote: "Yeah, I'm going to do a dinosaur special for Discovery Channel."
SEAGAL wrote: "People have a lot of frustrations, and when my character breaks every bone in a villain's body by slamming him against every protuberance on a late-model BMW, then shoves him into the trunk and pushes the Beamer off a high-rise parking structure, it releases those frustrations, and that gives people joy. Then they can consider the path of contemplation, and how they can only kick the shit out of their enemies if they stay calm, like me."
SEAGAL wrote: "So people like AmbuFortuna and Odysseus do not bother me at all. In fact, they are my greatest benefactors, because they show me how far I have to go." |