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by Tara Carreon
I have learned again and again
The pains and penalties of disagreeing with a man
The anger, the hatred, the killing look in his eye
The pitying, compassionate gaze
The kindly offer to set me straight
The look of resignation
Knowing that little can be done to help me
Since I will probably reject his offer
Or fail to fully absorb the lesson.
Offering an opinion, stating a fact
Expounding on a subject with great knowledge
Or speaking on a hunch
He pounces like a lion on his prey
He disagrees and proceeds to state
His opinion and disinformation as fact
Anything to put me down
Throw me off my place
Put me on the defensive
Get me running
It doesn’t matter that I’m right and he’s wrong
The important point is that I’m a woman
Who must always be submissive
And petition from an unknowing position
Looking up with awe and wonder
Mouth hanging open at his superior knowledge.
Then, after receiving his
assertions, arguments, ridicule, scoffing, laughing, jeering, dismissive
rebuttals
Should I then go to the Internet
And get information from Wikipedia
To prove that I was right and he was wrong
And dare, DARE, HOW DARE ME?!!!
Print it out and present it to him
Prepare to Die!
Have you ever seen murder in the eyes of a man insulted by a woman?
You better hope that he has enough control to restrain himself from
killing you
But always watch your back from that day forward
Should he find you unawares and deliver the final blow
Or maybe he’ll just come and knock your car lights out.
Get down woman
Get down
Take it
You know how to take it
Take it till you choke on it
Take it till you burst apart with it
In a fiery inferno
Learn to love the ground
Your face on it
The sweet smell of dirt
The feel of lying prone
Your mouth zipped up
If you need something, ask him for it
He’ll be happy – maybe – sometimes – to comply
And the look of joy and satisfaction on his face
As he gives you what you want
Should make up for any harm to your ego
Your life, your identity, your friendships
Simply look up at him and be grateful
Nay, smile adoringly
He – bringer of all benefits
Vessel of all knowledge
Bestower of all blessings
Standing tall
Head in the clouds
Beatific smile
He is a man
Alive, loving, breathing, acting, caring
Tall and getting taller
Shining with light, translucent
The light also within
He and all men in a fraternity of brothers practically Gods.
And when he undertakes adventures,
he WILL succeed one day
Could you please just stay out of his way?
Is that too much to ask?
That you not obstruct his great project?
That you do the dishes while he creates
And support him lovingly?
Always willing to give a helping hand to his onerous endeavors for the
benefit of his family?
And while you’re at it, God-man,
Can you shore up the endangered species act?
Put the Constitution back in place?
Make torture really, really, REALLY illegal?
Take away subsidies for oil companies?
Get the mafia out of government?
And criminals out of banking?
And work on that global warming problem?
And woe be unto you should he not be
successful
Should he be a loser, a failure
Living with his parents
Unable to get a girlfriend
Frustrated sexually
There it will be again
Hate for woman who prevents him from being fulfilled
Who won’t love him
Who thinks he’s a freak
If you make him into a Frankenstein
You’ll have to consider the consequences of this rejection
He might even read to you a section from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein
The part where Frankenstein simply asks you to listen to his story
Then give him what he wants – or else.
If you don’t know what “or else” means, read Frankenstein.
He’s a freak
He’s a God
Depends on the circumstances
And a lot depends on woman
If you’re submissive, he’s a God
If you’re rebellious, he’s Frankenstein
In either case, watch out!
He has powerful weapons that can burn everything
And he’ll use them, too
Try and fight it
Maybe it would just be easier to crawl
Strike an easy balance
Death in 10 years rather than death now
The searing hatred of his look
And don’t fucking try to justify yourself
The last thing in the world he needs to hear is how you were right and
he was wrong
Just drop it
Keep the bigger picture in mind
The Big picture, where everything is perfect
And he’s done a bang-up good job of everything
Does he need to hear your shit?
It just makes him depressed
Didn’t he work all week to be happy, and make you happy?
Focus on the good things in life
Let him be your teacher
Let him be your guide
And when you just can’t get over
Obsessing how badly he treated you
Eat some chocolate
When you think of planning revenge
Like writing a poem or sending a letter
You don’t have his address!
You don’t know where he lives!
You don’t even know if he is who he says he is
And when his face flashes over those other faces
Those murderous faces from those other times in your life
Don’t be ridiculous!
Don’t you want to have any friends?
Are you going to reject everybody?
Is no one going to be good enough for you?
Are you going to be a drag on the system?
Drink the poisoned water.
What does it matter if he secretly hates you?
Is a racist, a bigot, who hides his real face from you?
At least you have somebody to drink beer with
At least you have somebody to watch movies with
To share small talk and experience society with
As long as the conversation stays on an even keel
And you – woman – stay in your place
And let the man be the boss.
Ride the razor’s edge
Eat food from a knife
Walk on the edge of a cliff
Tiptoe across the abyss
Learn to live with danger
Male danger
Hot heavy breath
Stink foul breath danger
Ugly threat danger
And smile when it hurts
Accept life the way it is
He’s a man of action
Don’t get in his way
He’s stronger than you
You wish you had a gun
But society will never approve if you try and subdue him
He would never allow that
He’s everywhere
He controls everything
He never sleeps
He covers the entire earth
He has his hands on all the light switches
He controls the world’s water supply
All his lands are fenced
The animals are afraid
Fish swim northward
Birds fly northward
And tiny flowers die and are no more.
There’s a searing heat coming
Rippling the earth
Turning it into illusion
A grand finale
Trees down
Branches broken
Worms crawling in death and destruction
His acts, his advice, are “the best ever”
You’ll be rich
Petition the Speaker of the House
Nature this and nature that
Scrambling, rushing, desperate brochures
Maps of America
How is that going to help?
Where does the money go?
All the donations
The strikes and campaigns
Marches in the street
Focused strategy sessions
Cookies and punch
The massive, patient efforts
Things are worse than ever
The polar bear is dying
The ice caps are melting
Feel that cool breeze?
What else could it be?
But you can only do so much
Be happy
Enjoy life a little
Can you smile? Relax? Have a good time?
Feel the wind on your face?
But my head hurts
Was it the head injury or the Phowa?
Women sleep
Women obey
They do what they are told
They are afraid
It only takes a kick to get her in line
She’s having her period
She’s going through menopause
She’s tired
She’s sick
She wants a baby
She wants to be left alone
She would spit on you if she could
Meanwhile, she smokes herself to death
Drinks too much
Goes to work
Does the laundry
Cooks the food
Buys the groceries
Pays the bills
Irons her clothes
Fixes her hair
Chooses her outfits always to please
Not for comfort but for approval
How can a real woman compete with those big fake tits?
She looks ugly by comparison
He doesn’t even order the girlie magazines
They come in the mail anyway
They are free
The radio plays its tuneless tunes
Doodaloolaloo
Young adults were born yesterday
They don’t even know who the Beatles are
Iran-Contra – no , they never heard of it
BCCI – doesn’t ring a bell
Post-modern nihilism is the new thing in case you didn’t know it, you
old fogey!
You don’t dress smart
You’re fat, why should they listen to you?
You’re just a woman
You don’t know anything
Young boys drive by and flip birds at my bumperstickers
Insist that the sales clerk attend to them not to me
They have no respect
I’m not their mother
There’s nothing to get excited about
Life has always been like this
A little boring
No great shakes
No disasters on the horizon
Did you see that new movie at the theater,
All shoot-em up, like usual?
It was so unique!
Shoot, shoot, shoot
Kill, kill, kill
Skull and bones, skull and bones
T-shirts, decals, religion
They’re not afraid of death, or afraid to kill others
Who cares?
They’re cowboys
Parents are proud of their sons
They honor their deaths by engraving their names on their windshields
Rolling graveyards
Graveyards on park benches.
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