A DAY WITHOUT A MEXICAN -- ILLUSTRATED SCREENPLAY & SCREENCAP GALLERY
[Officer Hyland] Well, activity has definitely decreased.
[Officer Carr] Decreased? There's no activity at the border. Zilch, nada. They're probably building a damn tunnel, or some shit like that. You know, they're always running, jumping, swimming over here. It's like a goddamned third world Olympics out here.
[Officer Hyland] Well, if they disappeared, it's a pretty unbelievable thing. We've done our job. Our job is to keep out illegal aliens.
PRISON NO TRESPASSING
[Name Withheld, California State Prison Inmate] I was getting some cool prison time, and my homey Smiley is laying on some ink. I just closed my eyes and relaxed a little.
[Prisoner] All of a sudden he stopped. I opened my eyes and no one's there!
[Prisoner] It's supposed to read "Assassin."
[Prisoner] This is going to get no respect from anybody.
[Comedien] Hey, where'd my burrito go?