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A DAY WITHOUT A MEXICAN -- ILLUSTRATED SCREENPLAY & SCREENCAP GALLERY

[Jeff] Do you habla Espanol?

[Lila]  Yeah, of course.

  [Jeff] Okay.  Take it from the top then, and don't Americanize the Spanish.  Let me hear the real deal, okay?  Let me hear the Latino sabor.

[Lila] Hola.  I am Lila Rodriguez.  The Cinco de Mayo fiesta is the fastest growing Mexican holiday in the United States. 

[Jeff] That's what I'm talking about.  Okay?  Remember, Ricardo Montalban would have no career if he had no accent.  Comprendo?

[Lila] That's true!

[Steven] Ellen!

[Ellen] Yes, honey.

[Steven] Ellen, how could you hire those people? 

[Ellen] Steven, they are Mexicans from Home Station.

[Steven] They are from in front of Home Station.  And they are illegal Mexicans from Guatemala and Honduras.  It was a really stupid thing to do.

Guatemalans and Hondurans are not Mexicans.

[Ellen] These guys will paint the exterior and the interior for the budget you gave me.

[Cata]  How moody!  Eat your heuvos rancheros.

[Steven]  Are you doing this on purpose?  You didn't think this could ruin my career?

[Ellen] That's all you think about.  You're getting worse than your dad.  If we use regular Mexicans, it's going to cost a lot more. 

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