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LITERAL MATHEMATICS
Zero is nothing
One is bold
Two is loneliness
Three is the other
Four is the peacemaker
Five is a group
Six is the parliament
Seven is a happy conclusion
Eight is security
Nine is trooping
Ten is convenient
Eleven is agitation
Twelve is helpless
Thirteen is a threat
Fourteen is a land speculator
Fifteen is a market researcher
Sixteen is the desperate
Seventeen is a troubleshooter for the ecologist
Eighteen is a silk merchant
Nineteen is a junior executive
Twenty is sportsmanship
Twenty-one is a Jewish banker--
But zero is one in the realm of oneness
Oneness is one in the realm of zeroness
Two is sixteen in the realm of eighteen
Twenty-one is glorious after the teething of the three
Sixteen is five nobody knows who they are
Seven is ten in the realm of coins
Nine is nineteen because of sharp corners
Three is eight you have chosen a bad tailor
Four is fourteen the grammar school is inadequate
Twenty is eighteen need for equitation lesson
Eleven is fifteen bad Christmas gift
Twelve is seventeen a carrot is not a radish
Thirteen is thirteen odd man out
Glory be to the six, good table manners.
Jam jar
Honey pot
Lemon sherbet
Who's kidding whom?
Kids are kite
Kites fly
Kids stumble
In the glorious desert mole-hole.
Life as it was.
Could life be?
I mean that way?
Do you really?
But zero is what?
Well ... well, zero is.
Glory be to those who have missed aeroplane connections--
Fly United.
9 September 1974
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