THE SLEEPER WAKES -- HARLEM RENAISSANCE STORIES BY WOMEN

The Foolish and the Wise
Sanctum 777NS.D.C.O.U. Meets Cleopatra
LEILA AMOS PENDLETON

The hour for opening had passed but, strange to say, Sister Sallie Runner, the All Highest Mogul of Sanctum 777, "Notable Sons and Daughters of Come On Up," had not yet arrived. The members stood around in groups and wondered what had happened, for Sis Runner was never late. True the Vice-All Highest, Sister Susan Haslum, was present and technically it was her duty to open the meeting; but the members of the Sanctum had a very poor opinion of her ability. Sallie had once voiced the general feeling when she said to her:

"Sis Haslum, seems lak to me dat yo' knowlidge box is allus onjinted an' de mentals of yo' mind clean upsot. How yo' 'spect to rule dis Sanctum wen yo' time come I cain't tell. Pears lak to me de bes' thing we kin do will be to 'lect yo' Grand Past All Highest an' give yo' de grand claps now an' be done wid it. Den we won't have to worry wid yo' settin' in dis cheer an' trying to zide."

The suggestion was not acted upon, but as the members waited tonight they wished very earnestly it had been; for then Sister Tulip Brawler would have been in line to preside (as she was Most Mightiest), and no one doubted her ability. When the thoughts of the members had reached this uncertain state, Notable Brother Brown spoke up:

"High Notables, Sons and Daughters, Brothers and Sisters, Officers and Members," he said, "I moves dat we close dis here Sanctum tonight befo' we opens it an' journey 'round to Sis Runner's house to see what all's de matter wid her."

"Sho! Sho! To be certingly," responded the Sanctum unanimously, but just as they were putting on their wraps, in bustled Sallie, breathless but smiling.

"I knowd it," said she, as soon as she could catch 'her breath, "I jes knowd you all would git tired a waitin'. I tole Reveral Runner so. But dat man is some sick an' whut part ain't sick is scared to death; an' no wonder, as much debilmunt as he's allus up to. Jes as I were puttin' on my hat to come here he dragged in de doe, lookin' lak a ghost. 'Brudder Runner,' says I, 'Is dat yo' or yo' apparatus?' He diden make no answer but jes pinted to his chist. Wal, yo' orter seen me hop 'round. Yo' know he already done had newmonny twict. I had some creso an' dats good for de longs; den I chopped up some Turmooda onyuns an' bound him up in dat an' salt. When he mence to feel better I turned him over to Obellina. She's jes as gooda nuss as me an' she are wrapped up in her pa 'cause she ain't on to his curbs. Come on, chilluns, less open de lodge. We'll leave off de gowns an' crowns an' mit de regular openin' 'cause it's so late, but I gotta fine ole ancienty story to tel yo' an' dis time it's 'bout a cullud lady."

At this the Sanctum was all excitement and officers and members hurriedly took their stations. Sallie gave the altar in front of her five raps, then said she, "High Notibuls, yo' kin pas to de secertary's desk one by one an' pay yo' dues. Sis Dolum an' Sis Spots tend to passin' de cookies. Does yo' all think you kin do all dem things an' lissen to me too?"

"Oh yas, All Highest," came a number of voices. "We's jes crazy to hear yo'."

"Wal," proceeded Sallie, in her stateliest manner, "dis here lady I'se goin' to tell 'bout tonight were bornd right spang in Egupt an' dats in Afriky. She were a sho nuff queen too, wid lords an' ladies an' sojers an' servunts. Her name were Clea Patrick."

"All Highest," cautiously inquired Sister Ann Tunkett, Vice-Most Mightiest, "is yo' rale sho she were cullud?"

"I is," responded Sallie. "Cose, Mis Oddry beat me down she warn't, but I knows better 'cause I were lookin' right at her. She were one a dese here high browns wid wavy hair an' rosy cheeks, lookin' jes lak dat Donarine Elett whut were runnin' arter Reveral Runner dat time. Least he 'cuse her of runnin' arter him wen dey got cot up wid, but I knows who were doin' de most runnin'."

"Is Mis Oddry got Clea Patrick's picter, All Highest?" inquired Sis Tunkett.

"Yas, an' de nex' time yo' come 'round I'll show it to yo'. Clea Patrick were one of dese here long-haided, long-nosed, long- eyed, slim gals dat jes nachel come into de world to make trubble. An' she sho made it. Fust off her King pa died wen she were only eighteen years ole an' lef his kentry fur her an' her lil brudder Tallmy to rule togedder. But whut should Tallmy's gardeens do but grab de whole bisness an' leave Clea wid nuffin."

"Now ain't dat jes lak some men!" exclaimed Sis Bawler. "Seem lak de vurry idea of Wimmin rulin' anything but de cook kitching sets um wild."

"It's de fack -- trufe," replied Sallie. "Yo all knows dat as long as I were settin' on dis floor Brudder Runner were a jim-dandy member of de 'Come On Ups.' Soon as I mence to move 'round de cheers, he mence to git restless. Den wen yo' all 'lect me All Highest he jes nachel coulden stan' it. So he goes off an' jines dat 'Everlastin' Order of Hezzakites' an' he ain't been back here sence."

"Dats right, All Highest. Dats jes whut he done, but I nuvver seen through it befo'." said Vice-Most Mightiest Tunkett.

"Wal I seen through him. He's jes de same as a winda-pane to me. But ef I'da knowd whut I knows now or ef I'da lissened to my ma he'd nuvver got me in his clinches. Longs as I diden do nuthin' but work fur him an' be a skillyun he were as pleased as punch, but jes as soon as peepul act lak dey thot I could do sumpin else sides dat he got sore. An' dat was de vurry way dem men acted wid Clea Patrick. But dey diden know her yit! Ha! Ha! Dey haden foamed her quaintence. She skipped 'round an' got herself a big army an' de way she fout urn were sumpin' pretty, 'cause evry one of dem sojers was in love wid her. Den right in de middle of all dat here come dat Julyus Siezer."

"Who were he, All Highest?" inquired Sis Haslum.

"Why he were dat great Roaming gineral sumpin' lak Elleckzandry, only he were borned a long time afterward. Wal as soon as he got in gunshot of her, Clea Patrick mence rollin' dem long eyes at him. She done a right cute thing doe-- she wind herself all up in a big bufull rug an' make her servunts carry it to Siezer an' say, 'Here's a present Queen Clea Patrick sont you.' Den wen dey onroll it, out she jump an' dat ole jack went crazy over her. Now he were ole nuff to be her grandpa an' he had a wife at home, sides bein' bald-haided, an' dey warn't no scuse fur de way he carried on."

"Wal, All Highest," drawled Most Mightiest Brawler, "Yo' know whut dey say 'bout a ole fool."

"Yas," returned Sallie, "an' I ain't nuvver seen dat sayin' fail yit. Dis here Siezer were a good zample of it, too. Why he took Clea Patrick back to Roam wid him an' put her in a fine palace an' was gittin' ready to go fum extreemity to extromity. But dem Roamings say, 'Looka here, we's tired a dis foolishness. Nuff's good as a feast. We all cain't die togedder -- somebuddy is got to die fust an' it might's well be yo'.' So dey jump on Siezer in de State House one day an' fill him fulla daggers."

"Oh! Oh! My! My'" cried the Sanctum.

"Yas indeedy," replied Sallie nonchalantly. "Cose when I fust got quainted wid dem ole ancienties, dat murdarin' an' momockin' way dey had worried me a lot. But I'se usedta it now. Yo' know you kin git usedta anybuddy dyin' but yosef. Wal wen dis here Siezer died, Clea Patrick lit out fur home an' took dey lil son Siezeron wid her. An' its a good thing dey got away so slick 'cause dem Roamings woulda finished um bofe. But it do seem lak peepul nuvver knows whut dey raiely wants. When Siezer were daid evry'buddy got sorry an' when his will were read an' dey found out dat he had left a whole lotta money to de vurry ones dat had kilt him, why dem Roamings rose up an' made dose killers fly an' burnt up all dey homes an' done um up so bad dey wisht dey nuvver hada seen dat Siezer, less mo' kilt him."

"Wal," Most Mightiest Bawler interposed, "doesn't yo' think dat were fair an' square, All Highest?"

"Oh, I guess so," the All Highest replied, "but dem ole ancienties done so many quare things yo' nuvver coud tell whedder dey was comin' or goin'. Wal, arter Siezer were daid his main frend name Mark an Tony took up de battle. Arter fightin' in evry derection he wint sailin' down to Egupt. When Clea Patrick heerd he were comin' she diden git into no carpet dis time. No indeedy! She puts on her gladdes' rags an' jewls an' fumes an' gits in her fines' boat all kivvered wid gold an' silver, an' has her servunts all decked in dey grandes' clothes holding parasols over her an' wavin' fans at her an' way she sail to meet Mark an Tony. She already knowd him wen she were in Roam wid dat Siezer an' mebbe dey lak one another den, yo' can't tell. Anyhow dey sho lak each udder arter at meetin'. Sho did!"

"Ef she look anything lak Donarina an' was all fixed up lak you says, I knows she were one uvvermo hartbreaker," put in Sis Haslum.

Sallie transfixed her with a look and went on. "Mark an Tony furgot all erbout Roam an' home an' wife an' everything but Clea Patrick. He warnt no ole man lak Siezer so dey was mo' on a quality. Dey played games togedder an' went a huntin' an' a fishin' togedder lak lil boy an' gurl. Sides, Clea would sing to Mark an' play fur him an' talk to him in seben langwitches."

"It's a wunder Mark's wife haden got onto um," commented Sis Tunkett.

"She did. She were one of dem strong-arm wimmin an' she starts up a great war, hopin' dat Mark will come on home an' git into it; but he were too busy. He an' Clea useter dress up in masks an' servunt's clothes at nights an' run up an' down de streets an' play Holler Ween pranks on peepul when it warnt no Holler Ween. Den agin dey would put on dey grandes' robes an' crowns an' give de bigges' kinda ceptions to dey frends an' eat an' drink tel dey coulden see. An' den in the middle of dem doins Mark's wife upped an' died."

"Ah, de pore soul!" sighed Sis Haslum, "Dat Clea Patrick orta be shamed a hersef."

"Wal," resumed the All Highest, "Mark went on to meet the yuther great Roaming gineral name Tavius an' what should he do but make a match 'tween his sister an' Mark."

"Good gosh!" exclaimed Bawler, "an' Clea Patrick yit livin'? Now don't you know dere's trubble comin' in lobs an' gobs? Diden dat Tavius had gumption nuff to know dat a man whut won't be true to one wife, won't be true to two?"

"Wal," Sallie replied, "pears lak of he uvver knowd it he furgot it or else he were hopin' fur de bes'. Anyhow, fur a while Mark kep' rale straight. But arter while he hadta leave home to go to de wars agin an' when he got not so fur fum Clea Patrick -- uh! uh! -- he sont fur her an' give her not rings an' bracelits an' things lak dat, but rivers an' moutings an' cities an' countries."

"Jes whut I knowd!" triumphed Sis Bawler. "Dese here madeup matches allus scares me. Land knows deres times wen its harda nuff to stand a match yo done made yosef, less mo 'one dats made fur yo'."

"Mark an Tony found dat out aright. He done a lil mo' fightin' 'round erbout den he hikes hissef spang down to Egupt an' dar he stays wid Clea Patrick."

"Ah ha!" Sis Bawler cried. "Tole yo' so! Tole yo' so!"

"But," Sallie went on, "dem Roamings feel dersef much more degraced by Mark an Tony's doin's, an' dey is tired a Clea Patrick hoodoodlin' dey bes' ginerals so dey clar war agin her."

"Serve her jes right!" Sis Tunkett cried indignantly. "Don't care ef she were a cullud queen. I don't hole wid no sich capers.' She orta lef dem wimmin's husbands lone."

"Dats right! Dats right!" chorused the Sanctum.

"Yas," Sallie agreed. "My ole mudder allus said dat 'Right wrongs no one.' Wal, Mark an Tony an' Clea Patrick gethered all dey sojers an' sailurs an' off dey go to fight de Roamings. Wen de battle got hot, Clea got scared an' back home she went ascootin'. Stidda Mark an Tony stayin' dere an' fightin' lak a rale sojer, whut muss he do but take a fast boat an' lite out arter Clea Patrick. Cose wen de leaders lef, the sojers stop fightin' an' de inimy captured dem all an' den hiked out arter Clea an' Mark."

"Wal warn't dat sumpin'" exclaimed Sis Haslum.

"Dem two," continued Sallie, "knowd evry'thing were over den, so dey et an' drunk an' carried on wusser dan uvver, tel dem Roamings come clean into de city. Den Clea Patrick hide hersef wid her maids in a big monimint an' made her servunts tell Mark she were daid. I cain't imagine why she done dat 'cause dat news on top a all de res' of his trubbles jes nachel broke his heart an' he run his own swoad clean fro his body. Den when dey come back an' say Clea Patrick warnt daid he made dem carry him to her. I reckon dey love one another much as dem kinda peepul kin, 'cause when she saw him dyin' at her feet, she 'cides she diden wanta live widout him. So she put a pizenous wiper in her breast to sting her an' in a lil while she were dead."

"Poe thing," Sis Haslum sighed. "Poe thing. Mebbe ef her ma hada lived she woulda been a better gurl."

"Mebbe so," answered Sallie, "mebbe so. High Notabuls, de hour is late. We will close by singin' 'Dy soul be on dy gard.'"

FROM THE CRISIS, MAY 1922

Go to Next Page