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A LITTLE BIT LAVENDER |
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by Robert Anton Wilson From "The Illuminatus! Trilogy" "Too bad about that kid that got thrown out," Joe said, lowering his voice. 'It looked to me like that usher really was -- you know -- touching him." Cotex looked surprised for a moment, but then shook his head in doubt. "Can't tell nowadays, especially in big cities. Do you really think an Andy Frain usher could be a -- fairy?" "Like you said, nowadays in big cities ..." Joe shrugged. 'I'm just saying that it looked like it to me. Of course maybe the usher isn't one. Maybe he's just a cheap thief who was trying to pick the kid's pocket. A lot of that goes on these days, too." Cotex involuntarily reached back to check his own wallet, and Joe went on blandly. "But I wouldn't rule out the other, not by a long shot. What sort of man would want to be an usher at a KCUF meeting, if you stop and think about it? You must have observed how many homosexuals there are in your organization." "What?" Cotex's eyes bulged. "You haven't noticed it?" Joe smiled loftily. "There are very few of us who are really Christians. Most of the membership are just a little bit lavender, know what I mean? I think it's one of our biggest problems, and we ought to bring it out into the open and discuss it frankly. Clear the air, right? For instance, take the way Smiling Jim always puts his arm around your shoulder when he talks to you --" Cotex interrupted, "Hey, mister, you're pretty darn bright. Just now hit me like a flash -- some of the men here, when Smiling Jim showed those beaver shots to prove how bad some magazines are getting, they really shuddered. They didn't just disapprove -- it really honest-to-Pete revolted them. What kind of man actually finds a naked lady disgusting?"
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