COUNTER-INTELLIGENCE AGENCY REPORT
Date: February, 1972
Country: Immensee on Lake Zug, Switzerland
Subject: THE ARRIVAL OF PRINCE ALEXIS
Classification: TOP
SECRET
Our local agents
report that the Professor's hideout cottage on the lake has a fireplace study on
the first floor opening onto the water. The top floor is a ship-cabin
sailing down the lake. From the deck one whistles for the seven swans who
float majestically along the shore and bend strong phallic necks to swallow
bread crumbs.
Prince Alexis
drives up in his Stingray, dismounts regally, throws reins to the groom and sets
off a three day cycle of life-death magic. Sitting in front of the fire he
begins to babble.
(The conversation
is taped.)
"The fascinating
facet of India," says Alexis, "is her worship of holy putrefaction. To the
banal perceptions of the west she exists and has always existed, a bedraggled
woolly mammoth buried in the ice of occult tradition. And yet no other
ancient culture has been so expressive. In stone carving, temple, wood,
gesture, fluid motion, sonorous sound, she has broadcast her buoyant message to
the world. Close your eyes and sleep! Lest her repetitious dream be
disturbed, she asks for only the smallest dash of creative stimulus in return.
Dare we introduce western science-magic to the Ganges? Does soul,
expressed in art, as in fucking, require equal reciprocity? Shall we,
whether they like it or not, electrify the sita? A rock festival in
Benares?"
"Strong cocaine,"
says the Professor. "Can we change the dial? Let's focus on the nearby
future. What part do you want to play in our next episode?"
"What is the
script?"
"That is the
question. We're looking for it. The womb planet waits for our next
broadcast. Unhappily it appears that we have to fabricate the treatment.
What do you suggest?"
"My own obsessions
are simple," replied the Prince. "Electronic rock 'n roll along the thin,
aristocratic line from Chuck Berry to the Stones. Erotic mysticism, tantra
and the pursuit of that Holiest of Grails: the all-night, orgasmless fuck.
Oh yes, my family history amuses me. The saga of decadence, Sybaritism,
epicureanism, philosophic gratification. I am, in addition, a nervous
wreck. Do you know what that means?"
"I think so,"
replies the Professor with a tender smile.
"Then tell me
quickly. Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why when I talk
to a psychiatrist does he straight-away want to pop me in treatment? It's
really quite unsettling. Say something, anything to exorcize this
psychiatric curse."
"I'll have to make
up a story."
"It's all
fiction," says Alexis.
"In the 1950's,"
says the Professor, "I devoted nine years to the study of the personality,
behavior, and strange beliefs of psychiatrists. They are a bizarre and
superstitious tribe. My conclusion is that the profession of psychiatry is
quite out of touch with reality. Do you like that?"
COUNTER-INTELLIGENCE AGENCY REPORT
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Classification: TOP
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"Precisely my
judgment," exclaims Alexis joyfully. "But I need more to convince me."
"This diagnosis
does not apply to the younger generation of psychiatrists, many of whom are
nice, if dull hive agents. Freud is considered by many to be a flaming
revolutionary of free and honest sexuality. Nothing could be farther from
the truth. Freud is the Nixon of Psychology."
"Oh that's
priceless," grinned Alexis. "Freud is the Nixon of Psychology! How?"
"Every sensible
person in the world," continued the Professor, "had been trying to end the cold
war, but such attempts were futile. Because it required someone who
fanatically believed in the polarity, someone totally committed to good
to establish detente with bad. Nixon being the last politician in
the world to want peace with his enemies, had to be the one to use detente
against his domestic rivals. The same thing had to happen to allow a
detente between Morality and Sex in the European character structure. For
a century before Freud every intellectual in Europe had known about the
unconscious role of sexuality. But no psychiatrist or scientist with a
normal, healthy sex-life could be believed. It required the most uptight,
sexless, prudish man in Europe to use sex as ally against his real enemies, the
Viennese medical establishment. Is that enough?"
"I'm a difficult
case. Can you continue?"
"Psychiatry,"
continues the Professor, "is primitive, prescientific hive regulation.
Actually the pre-Freudian psychiatric language was much more realistic.
Before Freud, psychiatrists were called 'alienists.' This is an
extraordinarily happy term, because most psychiatric patients are aliens,
that is to say, they have activated post-hive circuits of their nervous systems,
circuits designed for future survival. When the UFO's land 'alienation'
will become a very respectable word. The in-sane seem to live in another
world. Exactly. They are perhaps best seen as premature evolutes.
Mental hospitals should be called asylums. A nervous wreck is
exactly that."
"It's a beautiful
concept," says Alexis. "A badge of honor I shall wear proudly."
"Nervous,"
explains the Exorcist, "refers our attention to the nervous system, not to
imaginary character traits. And 'wrecked' means pushed out of normal hive
alignment. Collapse of the Domesticated Mind is considered to be the goal
of most mutating post-hive entities. The mind as you know, Alexis, is the
fragment of the brain that mediates the movements of the nine muscles of the
larynx and the hand. Collapse of the mind means that the laryngeal muscles
can no longer define hive reality."
(End of tape.)
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