Robert Stigwood was one of the most important Intelligence Agents of the 20th century.  His Australian genes helped.  (In the 18th and 19 centuries, as is well known, English gene-pools expelled their most vigorous, restless, intelligent seed to open ecological niches -- Canada, America, Australia.)

Australia was founded by Out-Castes, wild ones too ambitious, too individualistic to be domesticated in the tidy island home-hive.  This extraordinary genetic experiment bred arrogance, self-confidence and rugged freedom.  The continent is, however, too far removed from the genetic runway along which evolution increases it escape velocity; so as the Age of Individualism dawned, carefully selected Australians migrated to the Action sites.

Robert Murdoch easily took over London and Manhattan publishing; the tired menopausal publishing business.  Robert Stigwood received a more important assignment:  to wrest control of the record-movie industry from the bourgeois hive-moralists and domesticated bureaucrats.  Since records and films create the realities which all humans inhabit, Stigwood's genetic task was to fabricate a more intelligent future.  Specifically, to rescue the human race from the loser-myth of terminal adulthood and Judeo-Christian passivity.

Stigwood easily accomplished his mission by giving adolescents the self-confidence to reject inefficient, out-moded adult models and the ability to create new styles of self-actualized success.

In Saturday Night Fever, Grease, and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts  Club Band Stigwood created a mythos of cocky, arrogant, happy, hedonic youth strutting into a successful future.  There is no violence or anger.  The Travoltas, Newton-Johns, Framptons, Bee Gees cheerfully side-stepped bumbling adults -- portrayed accurately as a dying breed of confused dinosaurs -- and simply created a new social reality inhabited by the new species of Intelligent Narcissists.

Stigwood followed his legendary capture of Hollywood with his spectacular real estate ventures.  By 1985 Stigwood Pleasure Worlds had spread throughout the American Sun Belt.  The millions of hedonic agents who lived and worked in these Eden Parks hosted the rest of the world, who came ready to learn the pleasures and freedoms of Intelligent Self-Actualization.

By 1990 Robert Stigwood, and his partner Ron Bernstein, had become beloved philosopher-saints, benignly presiding over a Utopian Empire of music, joy and profit.  The Stigwood Heartland communities became the nucleus groups from which Space Colonies (High Orbital Mini Earths) were launched.

Stigwood, thus, can rightly claim the title of Father of the Future.

Reprinted from NATIONAL ENQUIRY, November 1982

Marilyn Signs a Song About Intelligence Maps
by Robert Stigwood

One evening Marilyn was listening to two friends having an historical debate while having dinner in the Columbia Pictures Dining Room.

The argument was whether David Begelman was a more skilled thief than Harry Cohn.  Marilyn kept hir eyes and mouth wide open with interest, although SHe couldn't understand a word they were saying.

Something occurred to hir as SHe sat silently with hir two gay friends.  SHe realized that about two-thirds (66%) of the time SHe hadn't the faintest notion of what people (even women, of all people) were talking about.  There was no hiding it.  There were enormous gaps in hir inteligence apparatus.

Marilyn decided to go to school to learn how to be an Intelligence Agent.  The next day SHe applied as a student to West Point, Annapolis, and the F.B.I. Academy.  U.S.C. finally accepted hir.

Hir tutor was a woman.  Marilyn was depressed by this at first because SHe didn't think a woman could teach hir anything.  But in a few days SHe knew differently.

Hir charming tutor was one of the most exciting human beings Marilyn had ever met.  SHe talked about the Cold War and made it sound ten times more important than M.G.M.'s biggest epic.  Marilyn main-lined everything SHe heard.  SHe met Whittaker Chambers, Westbrook Pegler, and Joseph Alsop.  There was a new genius to hear about every day.

A few weeks later Marilyn branched out as a student of intelligence.   SHe started buying books about sex by Freud and some of his modern disciples.  SHe read them till SHe got dizzy.

But SHe didn't have enough time.  Getting smart, learning how to use your head, is no bed of roses!  There were acting lessons, singing lessons, publicity interviews and swarms of producer-sperm waiting to be swallowed.

So SHe decided to postpone hir intelligence.  But SHe made a promise to hirself SHe vowed never to forget.  Marilyn Swore that in a few years, after things settled down, SHe would start Increasing hir Intelligence.  SHe would read all books and find out about all the wonders there were in the world.  And then, when SHe sat among important people, SHe would be able to understand what they were talking about.  And even contribute a few words.

Now the time had come.  Zurich.  1972.

And what better place than Zurich to talk about Intelligence Maps?  There were plenty of grim-smiling men, here in the Odeon, right now, who didn't manage to be exposed at Harvard to the Hedonic Revolution (Puritan mysteries and Stoic-cynicism were their bag); who signed government contracts, swearing eternal loyalty to the Counter-Intelligence Firm.  And who now, always under-cover, were in Switzerland to work for A.B.C. and its "intelligence" network which operated here under the label:  Office of Strategic Services, O.S.S.

Crossing the street to the Kronenhalle, Marilyn was accosted by the center fielder of the Yankees, Micky Mantle himself, who handed hir an autographed bat and asked for The Map.

"Yes," SHe said, "you need maps Mr. Mantle.  In passing through unknown territory, The Future, for example, it is of utmost importance to have accurate plans and to make new blueprints.  To the extent that you rely on past-maps, you will retrace the territory of the past.  Find the Future Maps Mr. Mantle!  Locate the plans for the stages to come, and commit them to memory.  Every DNA Agents knows that!  Reality maps cannot be stolen.  They can be memorized and transcribed only by you.

"The plans are obvious Mr. Mantle, and you can be located by looking where 'They' tell you not to look -- on the Out-Caste Frontiers.  Past reality maps are useful, but only if you have the key:  S.M.I2.L.E.  Without this key, past reality maps are confusing.  Now that we are beyond Newtonian ethics it is no longer true that the past-plans say exactly the opposite of what they are said to say.  Bad, much to my dismay, is no longer automatically good."

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