COUNTER-INTELLIGENCE AGENCY REPORT

Date: February, 1972
Country: Montana-Crans, Switzerland
Subject: THE EXPULSION FROM CANTON VALAIS
Classification: TOP SECRET

Our photographer has published (as ordered) six glamour-hero-fun pictures, along with a stirring tribute from the young people of the canton honored by the presence of the Philosopher, now learning to ski.  Heh!  Heh!  Heh!

The paper is French-language published in lower Valais.  A week later our contact on the German paper from upper Valais published a fiery editorial accusing the lower Valais administration of adopting the Philosophy of Hedonism, License, and Drug Addiction.  The headline read:  Lower Valais Endorses Sin.

Suddenly the Philosopher becomes the biggest political issue since the scandal of the bridge ten years ago.  The Catholic Press (French) rises to defend him and the tradition of Swiss tolerance.  Protestants denounce Catholics.  The mountain people on this side of the valley are for the Professor.  The mountain people from the other side are vice versa.

When we arranged for school children to start signing petitions in his favor we knew the battle was won.  The parents reacted as predicted.  The two policemen who came to see him were laughing their heads off.  Everyone sees what is happening and digs the controversy which will hurt no one except the foreigner.

National party Committee takes sides.  The Chief of the Cantonal Police (Bureau trained at Langley, VA, 1970) asked him down for tea.  There is much "helas," "Incroyable," "Quel horreur," but the Philosopher must leave the canton.

(All Counter-Intelligence personnel involved in this provocation SHOULD BE COMMENDED!!)

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