HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDHA

by Tara Carreon

Today's the Buddha's birthday
It is also my husband's
And my old guru Gyatrul Rinpoche's too
It's April 7th
My husband always insists that this is the most important day of the year and constantly points out important events that occur on this day
Of course, because he was born on it
I will devote myself 100% to him after I write this poem to the Buddha

The Buddha got a bum rap
They took his good and mixed it with their bad and put him at the top as their figurehead
That's like mixing an angel with a vampire
It was ancient day identity theft
How I long to be away from here
Torturing Buddhists
But Buddha got a bum rap

Who stands up for the Buddha?
Who says, "Buddha was an amazing person, who promoted these specific ideas"?
He threw everything on its head
He left his palace of luxury and privilege and walked away from it all.
You were an amazing person no doubt about it
Come into me Buddha
And let me be you

Are you sure you want to do that Tara? Can you trust him?
Look again:
He tired of being feted, he walked away from it all, he declared the equality of all people, he promoted individuality, he rejected authority, he accepted women into his circle of friends, he was constantly fleeing from crowds of people who wanted him to be their savior, he didn't want recognition, he rejected asceticism and accepted a bowl of warm rice milk from a pretty girl. He refused to write anything down saying that the dharma was everywhere, and wouldn't appoint a successor. And when he died all he left were memories.
Yes, you can trust him
Come into me Buddha and let me become you

I was the son of a king
A soothsayer told my father upon my birth that if I saw the suffering of life, I would leave the palace forever. My mother and father worried about this constantly. Of course, I didn't know about this until later. We were a very tightly knit family, you could almost say they suffocated me with love. So there was a lot of phenomena going on at the palace to distract me. Everyone was busy, busy, busy trying to have fun and grasping greedily after life. It was manic, I can tell you. What was everyone so desperate about? I couldn't figure it out. It was just one spectacular event after the other, but after awhile, I tired of it. Have you seen the Truman Show? It was like that scene at the end when Jim Carrey gets in the boat which he's been told he almost lost his life in as a child, determined to face his fears and sail into the unknown, and his corporate masters program that big storm to make him turn back, but he doesn't, and in the end he bumps up against the walls of his prison, sees a door going to the outside, and without hesitation walks out? That's what it was like for me. It was all so artificial: the dancing girls, the incredible feasts, the ornamentation, the flowers, the furniture, the scents, the alcohol and drugs. It all started to look the same. To tell you the truth, I was bored stiff. Where was the incredible complexity of nature? I felt like a wild animal trapped in a cage.

So one day I snuck out and saw what the world really was. It was horrifying. There were sick people, old people, dying people, poor people. While we lived in luxury in our palace, the rest of humanity suffered in poverty. THE LIE was revealed. My parents had been lying to me all along, and were exploiting my fellow man. Filled with disgust and with a fire burning in my heart I left that palace never to return.

I looked everywhere for the answers like a good little boy. I prayed, did yoga, and meditated with the best of them. No one knew what the fuck they were talking about. Finally, I decided I was going to have to figure this out myself. I was determined, I can tell you. I had a fierce will to find the answer, and I challenged the universe right then and there to a showdown. I was either going to get enlightened or die. Enough of this fooling around!

So after accepting a bowl of warm rice milk from a pretty maiden -- enough of being hungry as well -- I sat myself down under a beautiful fig tree -- I just love figs, don't you? -- and willed myself to see the answer. Well, sometimes a strong determination for a miracle can produce amazing results. I had been tormenting over this appearance / emptiness business for some years, and suddenly I saw that they were one and the same. THERE WAS NO HIERARCHY. Everything was equal. I didn't say they were the same, just that they were equal. Everything is really different. The world presented itself with relative perfection, changing moment to moment to moment, the cause a complete and utter mystery. I experienced a beautiful simultaneity.

Wow, what a trip! My separate self dissolved into one whole being that was punctuated by constant inspiration that sometimes appeared to come from another place. What is life? Just drop your jaw in wonder. Suddenly, I feel so much better.

Now what the hell do I do? Just hang out and dig life, be all spontaneous and joyful? Or do I have some kind of responsibility to share my experiences with others? Maybe a little of both sounds good. I can't just sit here and do nothing.

I tried not to make a big deal out of it, but people were dying to hear my message, and the word spread like wildfire. Jeezus H. Christ, I was an instant celebrity, I couldn't find any peace and quiet. Of course, I was the son of a king, and my parents let me get away with everything. It was a very auspicious situation. And you can be sure that as soon as people started to gather, that's when the bickering began, and it was one petty dispute after the other. But that's not really fair to say because these were the issues that concerned people the most, and were the cause of their unhappiness. I don't want to demean their confusion. The world's a confusing place. It's no one's fault except for the people at the top who make the rules, and exploit people shamelessly for their own benefit. But how the hell are you going to topple that power structure? I did the best I could. It wasn't really much, as you can see from what happened after I died.

You already described it nicely when you said that they put my head on the body of a vampire. But there was really no way I could have prevented that, people being who they are. And I'm not complaining either. I see peoples' foibles, their hate, passion, aggression, jealousy, murderous tendencies, etc. as the display of a relatively perfect universe, which, after all, is always in the process of evolution. Still, that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to make things better.

There is only one meditation object in the room. The room is white and large and in the center stands a throne, and on the throne sits a white Buddha. Everything is perfectly still. We see his story flow over his body and light up everything in the room. Light comes from life, and from no other place.

The Buddha got a bum rap
Let it be known that there was one person who stood up for the Buddha, for who he really was. The guy deserves to have at least one friend
Comrade Buddha, I salute you
May your spirit live in me forever.

Ashland, Oregon
April 7, 2004

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