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Chapter 16
Zina said, "Yes, I will tell you who I am, Emmanuel, but I
will not let your world return. Mine is better. Herb Asher leads a
much happier life; Rybys is alive ... Linda Fox is real --"
"But you did not make her real," he said.
"I did."
"Do you want back again the world you gave them? With the
winter, its ice and snow, over everything? It is I who burst the
prison; I brought in the springtime. I deposed the procurator
maximus and the chief prelate. Let it stay as it is."
"I will transmute your world into the
real," he said. "I have
already begun. I manifested myself to Herb Asher when you
kissed him; I penetrate your world in my true form. I am making
it my world, step by step. What the people must do, however, is
remember. They may live in your world but they must know that
a worse one existed and they were forced to live in it. I restored
Herb Asher's memories, and the others dream dreams."
"That's fine with me."
"Tell me, now," he said, "who you are."
"Let us go," she said, "hand in hand. Like Beethoven and
Goethe: two friends. Take us to Stanley Park in British Columbia
and we will observe the animals there, the wolves, the great white
wolves. It is a beautiful park, and Lionsgate Bridge is beautiful;
Vancouver, British Columbia is the most beautiful city on
Earth."
"That is true," he said. "I had forgotten."
"And after you view it I want you to ask yourself if you would
destroy it or change it in any way. I want you to inquire of
yourself if you would, upon seeing such earthly beauty, bring into
existence your great and terrible day in which all the arrogant and
evil-doers shall be chaff, set ablaze, leaving them neither root nor
branch. OK?"
"OK," Emmanuel said.
Zina said:
We are spirits of the air
Who of human beings take care.
"Are you?" he said. Because, he thought, if that is so then
you are an atmospheric spirit, which is to say -- an angel.
Zina said:
Come, all ye songsters of the sky,
Wake and assemble in this wood;
But no ill-boding bird be nigh,
None but the harmless and the good.
"What are you saying?" Emmanuel said.
"Take us to Stanley Park first," Zina said.
"Because if you
take us there, we shall actually be there; it will be no dream."
He did so.
***
Together they walked across the verdant ground, among the
vast trees. These stands, he knew, had never been logged; this
was the primeval forest. "It is exceedingly beautiful," he said to
her.
"It is the world," she said.
"Tell me who you are."
Zina said, "I am the Torah."
***
After a moment Emmanuel said, "Then I can
do nothing regarding the universe without consulting you."
"And you can do nothing regarding the
universe that is contrary to what I say," Zina said, "as you yourself decided, in the
beginning, when you created me. You made me alive; I am a
living being that thinks. I am the plan of the universe, its blue
print. That is the way you intended it and that is the way it is."
"Hence the slate you gave me," he said.
"Look at me," Zina said.
He looked at her -- and saw a young woman, wearing a crown,
and sitting on a throne. "Malkuth," he said. "The lowest of the
ten sefiroth."
"And you are the Eternal Infinite En Sof," Malkuth said.
"The first and highest of the sefiroth of the Tree of Life."
"But you said that you are the Torah."
"In the Zohar." Malkuth said, "the Torah is depicted as a
beautiful maiden living alone, secluded in a great castle. Her
secret lover comes to the castle to see her, but all he can do is
wait futilely outside hoping for a glimpse of her. Finally she appears at the window and he is able to catch sight of her, but only
for an instant. Later on she lingers at the window and he is able,
therefore, to speak with her; yet, still, she hides her face behind
a veil ... and her answers to his questions are evasive. Finally,
after a long time, when her lover has become despairing that he
will ever get to know her, she permits him to see her face at last."
Emmanuel said, "Thus revealing to her lover all the secrets
which she has up to now, throughout the long courtship, kept
buried in her heart. I know the Zohar. You are right."
"So you know me now, En Sof," Malkuth said.
"Does it
please you?"
"It does not," he said, "because although what you say is
true, there is one more veil to be removed from your face. There
is one more step."
"True." Malkuth, the lovely young woman seated on the
throne, wearing a crown, said, "but you will have to find it."
"I will," he said. "I am so close now; only a step, one single
step, away."
"You have guessed," she said. "But you must do better than
that. Guessing is not enough; you must know."
"How beautiful you are, Malkuth," he said.
"And of course
you are here in the world and love the world; you are the sefira
that represents the Earth. You are the womb containing everything, all the other sefiroth that constitute the Tree itself; those
other forces, nine of them, are generated by you."
"Even Kether," Malkuth said, calmly.
"Who is highest."
"You are Diana, the fairy queen," he said. "You are Pallas
Athena, the spirit of righteous war; you are the spring queen, you
are Hagia Sophia, Holy Wisdom; you are the Torah which is the
formula and blueprint of the universe; you are Malkuth of the
Kabala, the lowest of the ten sefiroth of the Tree of Life; and you are
my companion and friend, my guide. But what are you actually? Under all the disguises? I know what you are and
--" He
put his hand on hers. "I am beginning to remember. The Fall,
when the Godhead was torn apart."
"Yes," she said, nodding. "You are remembering back to
that, now. To the beginning."
"Give me time," he said. "Just a little more time. It is hard.
It hurts."
She said, "I will wait." Seated on her throne she waited. She
had waited for thousands of years, and, in her face, he could see
the patient and placid willingness to wait longer, as long as was
necessary. Both of them had known from the beginning that this
moment would come, when they would be back together. They
were together now, again, as it had been originally. All he had to
do was name her. To name is to know, he thought. To know and
to summon; to call.
"Shall I tell you your name?" he
said to her.
She smiled, the lovely dancing smile, but no mischief shone
in her eyes; instead, love glimmered at him, vast extents of love.
***
Nicholas Bulkowsky, wearing his red army uniform, prepared
to address a crowd of the Party faithful at the main square of
Bogota, Colombia, where recruiting efforts had of late been
highly successful. If the Party could swing Colombia into the anti-fascist camp the disastrous loss of Cuba would be somewhat
offset.
However, a cardinal of the Roman Catholic
Church had recently put in an appearance -- not a local person, but an American, dispatched by the Vatican to interfere with CP activities.
Why must they meddle? Bulkowsky asked himself. Bulkowsky.
He had discarded that name; now he was known as General
Gomez.
To his Colombian advisor he said, "Give me the psychological profile on this Cardinal Harms."
"Yes, Comrade General." Ms. Reiz passed him the file on the
American troublemaker.
Studying the file, Bulkowsky said, "His head is up his ass.
He's a spinner of theology. The Vatican picked the wrong person." We will tie Harms into knots, he said to himself, pleased.
"Sir," Ms. Reiz said, "Cardinal Harms is said to have charisma. He attracts crowds wherever he goes."
"He will attract a lead pipe to the head," Bulkowsky said,
"if
he shows up in Colombia."
***
As a distinguished guest of an afternoon TV talkshow, the
Roman Catholic Cardinal Fulton Statler Harms had lapsed into
his usual sententious prose. The moderator, hoping to interrupt
at some point, in order to achieve a much-needed commercial
information dump, looked ill at ease.
"Their policies," Harms declared,
"inspire disorder, which
they capitalize on. Social unrest is the cornerstone of atheistic
communism. Let me give you an example."
"We'll be back in just a moment," the moderator said, as the
camera panned up on his bland features. "But first these messages." Cut to a spray can of Yardguard.
To the moderator -- since for a moment they were off camera
-- Fulton Harms said, "What's the real estate market like, here
in Detroit? I have some funds I want to invest, and office buildings, I've discovered, are about the soundest investments of all."
"You had better consult --" The moderator received a visual
signal from the show's producer; immediately he composed his
face into its normal look of sagacity and said, in his informal but
professional tone, "We're talking today with Cardinal Fulton
Harmer --"
"Harms," Harms said.
"-- Harms of the Diocese of --"
"Archdiocese," Harms said, miffed.
"-- of Detroit," the moderator continued.
"Cardinal, isn't it
a fact that in most Catholic countries, especially those in the
Third World, no substantial middle class exists? That you tend to
find a very wealthy elite and a poverty-stricken population with
little or no education and little or no hope of bettering themselves? Is there some kind of correlation between the Church and
this deplorable situation?"
"Well," Harms said, at a loss.
"Let me put it to you this way," the moderator continued; he
was perfectly relaxed, perfectly in control of the situation.
"Hasn't the Church held back economic and social progress for
centuries upon centuries? Isn't the Church in fact a reactionary
institution devoted to the betterment of a few and the exploitation
of the many, trading on human credulity? Would that be a fair
statement, Cardinal, sir?"
"The Church," Harms said feebly, "looks after the spiritual
welfare of man; it is responsible for his soul."
"But not his body."
"The communists enslave man's body and man's soul,"
Harms said. "The Church --"
"I'm sorry, Cardinal Fulton Harms," the moderator broke in,
"but that's all the time we have. We've been talking with --"
"Frees man from original sin," Harms said.
The moderator glanced at him.
"Man is born in sin," Harms said, totally unable to gather his
train of thought together.
"Thank you Cardinal Fulton Statler Harms," the moderator
said. "And now this."
More commercials. Harms, within himself, groaned. Somehow, he ruminated as he rose from the luxurious chair in which
they had seated him, somehow I feel as if I've known better days.
He could not put his finger on it, but the feeling was there.
And now I have to go to that little rat's ass country Colombia, he
reflected. Again; I've been there once, as briefly as possible, and
now I have to fly back this afternoon. They have me on a string
and they just plain jerk me around this way and that. Off to
Colombia, back home to Detroit, over to Baltimore, then back to
Colombia; I'm a cardinal and I have to put up with this? 1 feel
like stepping down.
This is not the best of all possible worlds, he said to himself
as he made his way to the elevator. And TV hosts of daytime talk
shows abuse me.
Libera me Domine. he declared to himself, and it was a mute
appeal; save me, God. Why doesn't he listen to me? Harms wondered as he stood waiting for the elevator. Maybe there is no
God; maybe the communists are right. If there is a God he certainly doesn't do anything for me.
Before I leave Detroit, he decided, I'll
check with my investment broker about office buildings. If I have the time.
***
Rybys Rommey-Asher, plodding listlessly into the living room
of their apartment, said, "I'm back." She shut the front door and
took off her coat. "The doctor says it's an ulcer. A pyloric ulcer,
it's called. I have to take phenobarb for it and drink Maalox."
"Does it still hurt?" Herb Asher said; he had been going
through his tape collection, searching for the Mahler Second
Symphony.
"Could you pour me some milk?" Rybys threw herself down
on the couch. "I'm exhausted." Her face, puffy and dark,
seemed to him to be swollen. "And don't play any loud music. I
can't take any noise right now. Why aren't you at the shop?"
"It's my day off." He found the tape of the Mahler Second.
"I'll put on the earspeakers," he said. "So it won't bother you."
Rybys said, "I want to tell you about my ulcer. I learned
some interesting facts about ulcers -- I stopped off at the library.
Here." She held out a manila folder. "I got a printout of a recent
article. There's this theory that --"
"I'm going to listen to the Mahler Second," he said.
"Fine." Her tone was bitter and sardonic.
"You go ahead."
"There's nothing I can do about your ulcer," he said.
"You can listen to me."
Herb Asher said, "I'll bring you the milk." He walked into
the kitchen and he thought, Must it be like this?
If I could hear the Second, he thought, I'd feel okay. The only
symphony scored for many pieces of rattan, he mused. A Ruthe,
which looks like a small broom; they use it to play the bass drum.
Too bad Mahler never saw a Morley wah-wah pedal, he thought,
or he would have scored it into one of his longer works.
Returning to the living room he handed his wife her glass of
milk.
"What have you been doing?" she said. "I notice you haven't
picked up or cleaned up or anything."
"I've been on the fone to New York," he said.
"Linda Fox," Rybys said.
"Yes. Ordering her audio components."
"When are you going back to see her?"
"I'll be supervising the installation. I want to check the system over when it's all set up."
"You really like her," Rybys said.
"It's a good sale."
"No, I mean personally. You like her." She paused and then
said, "I think, Herb, I'm going to divorce you."
He said, "Are you serious?"
"Very."
"Because of Linda Fox?"
"Because I'm sick and tired of this place being a sty. I'm sick
and tired of doing dishes for you and your friends. I'm especially
sick and tired of Elias; he's always showing up unexpectedly; he
never fones before he comes over. He acts like he lives here.
Half the money we spend on food goes for him and his needs.
He's like some kind of beggar. He looks like a beggar. And that
nutty religious crap of his, that 'The world is coming to an end'
stuff ... I can't take any more of it." She fell silent and then, in
pain, she grimaced.
"Your ulcer?" he asked.
"My ulcer, yes. The ulcer I got worrying about
--"
"I'm going to the shop," he said; he made his way to the
door. "Good-bye."
"Good-bye, Herb Asher," Rybys said. "Leave me here and
go stand around talking to pretty lady customers and listening to
high- performance new audio components that'll knock your
socks off, for half a million dollars."
He shut the door after him, and, a moment later, rose up into
the sky in his flycar.
***
Later in the day, when no customers wandered around the
store checking out the new equipment, he seated himself in the
listening room with his business partner. "Elias," he said, "I
think Rybys and I have come to the end."
Elias said, "What are you going to do instead? You're used
to living with her; it's a basic part of you, taking care of her.
Satisfying her wants."
"Psychologically," Herb said, "she is very sick."
"You knew that when you married her."
"She can't focus her attention. She's scattered. That's the
technical term for it. That's what the tests showed. That's why
she's so messy; she can't think and she can't act and she can't
concentrate." The Spirit of Futile Effort, he said to himself.
"What you need," Elias said, "is a son.
I saw how much
affection you have for Manny, that woman's little brother. Why =don't you --" He broke off. "It's none of my business."
"If I got mixed up with anybody else," Herb said, "I know
who it would be. But she'd never give me a tumble."
"That singer?"
"Yes," he said.
"Try," Elias said.
"It's beyond my reach."
"Nobody knows what's beyond his reach. God decides
what's beyond a person's reach."
Elias said, "But she isn't yet. If you're going to make a move
toward her, do it now."
"The Fox," Herb Asher said. "That's how I think of her." A
phrase popped into his mind:
You are with the Fox, and the Fox
is with you!
Not Linda Fox singing but Linda Fox speaking. He wondered
where the notion came from, that she would be saying that. Again
vague memories, compounded of -- he did not know what. A
more aggressive Linda Fox; more professional and dynamic. And
yet remote. As if from millions of miles off. A signal from a star.
In both senses of the word.
From the distant stars, he thought. Music and the sound of
bells.
"Maybe," he said, "I'll emigrate to a colony world."
"Rybys is too ill for that."
"I'll go alone," Herb said.
Elias said, "You'd be better off dating Linda Fox. If you can
swing it. You'll be seeing her again. Don't give up yet. Make a
try. The basis of life is trying."
"OK," Herb Asher said. "I will try."
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