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THE BROTHERHOOD |
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by Robert Anton Wilson From "The Illuminatus! Trilogy" "Here's the money," Banana-Nose Maldonado said generously, opening a briefcase full of crisp new bills. (It is now November 23, 1963: they were meeting on a bench near Cleopatra's needle in Central park: the younger man, however, is nervous.) "I want to tell you that ... my superior ... is very pleased. This will definitely decrease Bobby's power in the Justice Department and stop a lot of annoying investigations." The younger man, Ben Volpe, gulps. "Look, Mr. Maldonado, there's something I've got to tell you. I know how the ... Brotherhood ... is when somebody fucks up and hides it." "You didn't fuck up," Banana-Nose says, bewildered. "In fact, you lucked out amazingly. That schmuck Oswald's going to fry for it. He came along at just the right time. It was a real Fortuna ... Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" Banana-Nose sits up straight as the thought hits him. "You mean ... you mean ... did Oswald really do it? Did he shoot before you?" "No, no," Volpe is miserable. "Let me explain it as clearly as I can. I'm there on top of the Dallas County Records Building like we planned, see? The motorcade turns onto Elm and heads for the underpass. I use my magnifying sight, swinging the whole gun around to look through it, just to make one last check that I have all the Feds spotted. When I face the School Book Depository, I catch this rifle. That was Oswald, I guess. Then I check out the grassy knoll and, goddam, there's another cat with a rifle. I just went cold. I couldn't figure it out. While I'm in this state, like a zombie, a dog barks and just then the guy in the grassy knoll calm and cool as if he was at a shooting range lays three of them right into the car. That's it," Volpe ends miserably. "I can't take the money. The ... Brotherhood ...would have my ass if they ever found out the truth." Maldonado sat silently, rubbing his famous nose as he did when making a hard decision. "You're a good boy, Bennie. I give you ten percent of the money, just for being honest. We need more honest young boys like you in the Brotherhood." Volpe swallowed again, and said, "There's one more thing I oughta tell you. I went down to the grassy knoll, after the cops run from there to the School Book Depository. I thought I might find the guy who did the shooting still hanging around and tell you what he looked like. He was long gone, though. But here's what so spooky. I ran into another galoot, who was sneaking down from the triple underpass. Long, skinny guy with buck teeth, kind of reminded me of a python or some kind of snake. He just looks at me and my umbrella and guesses what's in it. His mouth falls open. 'Jesus Christ and his black bastard brother Harry,' he says, 'how the fuck many people does it take to kill a President these days?'"
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