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TV MAN |
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by Charles Carreon [It's not always possible to write a good poem, but we still have issues. TV is not a subject that we find it easy to deal with poetically. Oil and water might get along better than TV and poetry. I mean, have you ever seen "The Hour of Poetry," or "Great Poets Remembered," even on A&E? This rhyme takes aim at the great glass teat.]
The TV the TV the TV is the thing we use to soothe our brains and make our troublesome thoughts all loose We sit in front of the screen -- Soak up the rays I heard a man once sat there for a hundred days His wife and children they thought he was dead But then he yawned and took himself off-to-bed He was a TV man a real TV hero Don't anyone say the lie that he was a real zero He was a TV man he lived in a TV land he had a TV brain don't anyone say insane He watched the news He watched the sports With a smoke in his hand -- in his undershorts He watched the weather He watched the wars And a personal talk with Louie L'Amour He watched the Carson He watched the games He watched the soaps with arduous names He watched the movies made for TV And an expose of democracy He watched until there was nothing left And the news was a re-run like all the rest He patiently sat with his TV set Until there wasn't any dumber that he could get And having done that he knew he could go to bed, Because there wasn't one thing left in his whole damn head And from then on he had no trouble From that day he felt no pain 'Cause he'd killed off all of the thinking In his god-given brain He could smile at everyone His friends said he was more fun But he always said it was nothing That anyone couldn't have done He said, "I'm a TV man, I live in a TV land, and I'm very proud to say I think it's a damn good way."
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