GHOSTBUSTERS -- ILLUSTRATED SCREENPLAY & SCREENCAP GALLERY

Directed by Ivan Reitman, starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Sigourney Weaver, written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis
© 1984 Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc.

Ghostbusters, directed by Ivan Reitman -- Illustrated Screenplay & Screencap Gallery
Ghostbusters Original Soundtrack Album
Obedience to Authority, by Stanley Milgram

[Librarian] [Sees ghost and screams]

[Song:  Ghostbusters, by Ray Parker, Jr.] If there's something strange in your neighborhood

GHOST BUSTERS

Who you gonna call
Ghostbusters
If there's something weird and it don't look good
Who you gonna call
Ghostbusters

[Paranormal Studies Laboratory]

[Someone has written on door:  "Venkman Burn in Hell"]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] All right, I'm gonna turn over the next card.
I want you to concentrate.
I want you to tell me what you think it is.

[Male Student] Square.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Good guess, but wrong.

[Administers Electric Shock]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Clear your head.
All right. Tell me what you think it is.

[Female Student] Is it a star?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] It is a star. Very good. That's great.
All right. Think hard.
What is it?

[Male Student] Circle.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Close.
But definitely wrong.

[Administers electric shock]

[Male Student] [Candy pops out of his mouth]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] All right. Ready?

[Female Student] Yeah.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] What is it?
Come on.

[Female Student] Figure eight.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Incredible. That's five for five.
You can't see these, can you?
You're not cheating me, are you?

[Female Student] No, I swear. They're just coming to me.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You're kidding.
Nervous?

[Male Student] Yes.
I don't like this.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You only have 75 more to go.
Okay? What's this one?

[Male Student] It's a couple of wavy lines.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Sorry. This isn't your lucky day.

[Male Student] I know.

[Administers Electric Shock]

[Male Student] [Screams] I'm getting a little tired of this!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You volunteered, didn't you? We're paying you, aren't we?

[Male Student] Yeah, but I didn't know you would be giving me electric shocks!
What are you trying to prove here, anyway?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability.

[Male Student] I'll tell you what the effect is! It's pissing me off!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Well then maybe my theory is correct.

[Male Student] Keep the five bucks. I've had it!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I will, mister.
You may as well get used to that.
That's the kind of resentment that your ability ...
is going to provoke in some people.

[Female Student] Do you think I have it, Dr. Venkman?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You're no fluke, Jennifer.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] [Barges in] This is it.
This is definitely it.
Did those UV lenses come in for the video camera?
And that blank tape, I need it, the one you erased yesterday.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Will you excuse me for a second?

[Female Student] Sure.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm right in the middle of something, Ray!
[Hits Ray over the head]
I need a little more time with this subject.
Could you come back in an hour, an hour and a half?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Peter, at 1:40 p.m., at the main branch ...
of the New York Public Library on Fifth Avenue ...
ten people witnessed ...
a free-floating, full-torso vaporous apparition.
It blew books off shelves from 20 feet away ...
and scared the socks off some poor librarian.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm very excited. I'm very pleased.
I want you to get right down there, check it out ...
and get back to me.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] No, no.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Get right back to me.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] No, you're coming with us on this one.
Spengler went down there.
He took P.K.E. valances. Went right off the top of the scale.
Buried the needle. We're close on this one. I can feel it.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] "I can feel it.
We're very, very close."
I have to go now Jennifer, but I'd like to work with you some more.
Perhaps you could come back this evening, say at --

[Female Student] Eight o'clock?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I was just gonna say, "Eight o'clock?"
You are a legitimate phenomenon.

***

[Dr. Peter Venkman] As a friend I have to tell you, you've finally gone around the bend on this ghost business.
You guys have been running your ass off ...
meeting and greeting every schizo who says he has a paranormal experience.
What have you seen?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Of course, you forget, Peter ...
I was present at an undersea, unexplained mass sponge migration.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Ray, the sponges migrated about a foot and a half.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Making weird ghost noises and banging book on library table]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Oh, you're here.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yeah, what have you got?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] This is big Peter. This is very big. There's definitely something here.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. Remember that?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.

[Librarian Administrator] I'm Roger Delacorte. Are you the men from the university?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yes, I'm Dr. Venkman, Dr. Stantz, Egon.

[Library Administrator] Thank you for coming. I hope we can clear this up quickly and quietly.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Let's not rush things.
We don't even know what you have yet.

[Librarian] [Laying down on table] I don't remember seeing any legs ...
but it definitely had arms, because it reached out for me.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Arms? I can't wait to get a look at this thing.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Alice, I'm gonna ask you a couple of standard questions, okay?
Have you or any member of your family ...
ever been diagnosed schizophrenic, mentally incompetent?

[Librarian] My uncle thought he was Saint Jerome.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'd call that a big "yes."
Uh, are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol?

[Librarian] No!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] No.  No.  Just asking.
Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?

[Librarian Administrator] What has that got to do with it?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Back off, man. I'm a scientist.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Ray. It's moving.
Come on.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Look!

[Dr. Egon Spengler] This is hot, Ray.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Symmetrical book stacking ...
just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You're right. No human being would stack books like this.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Listen!
You smell something?
Talk about telekinetic activity. Look at this mess!

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Raymond, look at this.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Ectoplasmic residue!

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Venkman, get a sample of this.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] It's the real thing.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Somebody blows their nose, and you wanna keep it?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I'd like to analyze it.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] There's more over here.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I'm getting stronger readings here.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Ugh! Ach!

[Dr. Egon Spengler] This way.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Come on.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Throwing mucus around] Aargh! Gahh!
Egon, your mucus.

[Bookcase falls down]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] This happen to you before?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] [Nods head no.]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Oh! First time?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] [Nods head yes.]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] It's here.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] A full-torso apparition, and it's real.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] So what do we do?
Could you come over here and talk to me for a second, please?
Would you just come over here for a second, please?
Right over here. Come here, Francine. Come here.
What do we do?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I don't know. What do you think?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Hits Egon's P.K.E. Meter in his hand] Stop that!

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] We've got to make contact. One of us should actually try to speak to it.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Good idea.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Speaking to ghost] Hello. I'm Peter.
Where are you from, originally?

[Ghost] Shhhhhhhhhhh!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] All right. Okay. The usual stuff isn't working.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Okay. I have a plan.
I know exactly what to do.
Now stay close.
Stay close.
I know. Do exactly as I say.
Get ready. Ready? Get her!

[Ghostbusters running out library door]

[Library Administrator] Did you see it? What was it?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] We'll get back to you.
[Laughing] "Get her!" That was your whole plan.
"Get her."
You were scientific.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I just got overexcited.
But wasn't it incredible, Pete?
I mean, we actually touched the etheric plane.
You know what this could mean to the university?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yeah, it's gonna be bigger than the microchip. Ray, I'm very excited.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I wouldn't say the experience was completely wasted.
According to these new readings, I think we have an excellent chance ...
of actually catching a ghost and holding it indefinitely.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Well, this is great.
If the ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities ...
we could really bust some heads ...
in a spiritual sense, of course.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You serious about this catching a ghost?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I'm always serious.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Egon, I'm gonna take back some of the things I've said about you.
[Handing him money] You've -- you've earned it.

[Ghostbusters entering their laboratory]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] The possibilities are limitless. Hey, Dean Yeager.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I trust you're moving us to better quarters on campus.

[Dean Yeager] No, you are being moved off campus.
The Board of Regents has decided to terminate your grant.
You are to vacate these premises immediately.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] This is preposterous. I demand an explanation.

[Dean Yeager] Fine.
This university will no longer continue any funding of any kind ...
for your group's activities.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] But the kids love us.

[Dean Yeager] Dr. Venkman.
We believe that the purpose of science is to serve mankind.
You, however, seem to regard science as some kind of dodge or hustle.
Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe ...
your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable.
You are a poor scientist ...
Dr. Venkman.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I see.

[Dean Yeager] And you have no place in this department ...
or in this university.

***

[Outside on campus]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] This is a major disgrace. Forget M.I.T. or Stanford now.
They wouldn't touch us with a ten-meter cattle prod.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You're always so concerned about your reputation.
Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] You know how much a patent clerk earns?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] No!

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Personally I like the university. They gave us money and facilities.
We didn't have to produce anything. You've never been out of college.
You don't know what it's like out there.
I've worked in the private sector. They expect results.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] For whatever reasons, Ray ...
call it fate, call it luck ...
call it karma ...
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
I believe that we were destined to get thrown out of this dump.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] For what purpose?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] To go into business for ourselves.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] This ecto-containment system that Spengler and I have in mind ...
is going to require a load of bread to capitalize.
Where we gonna get the money?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I don't know. I don't know.

***

[Ghostbusters coming out of Manhattan City Bank]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You're never gonna regret this, Ray.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] My parents left me that house. I was born there.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You're not gonna lose the house. Everybody has three mortgages nowadays.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] But at 19%? You didn't even bargain with the guy.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Ray, for your information, the interest rate alone for the first five years ...
comes to $95,000.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Will you guys relax? We are on the threshold of establishing ...
the indispensable defense science of the next decade.
Professional Paranormal Investigations and Eliminations.
The franchise rights alone ...
will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams.

***

[Real Estate Woman] There's office space, sleeping quarters and showers on the next floor ...
and there's a full kitchen on the top level.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] It just seems a little pricey for a unique fixer-upper opportunity, that's all.
What do you think, Egon?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I think this building should be condemned.
There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members ...|
the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs ...
and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Hey, does this pole still work?
Wow! This place is great!
When can we move in? You gotta try this pole!
I'm gonna get my stuff.
Hey! We should stay here, tonight. Sleep here. You know, try it out.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] [Shakes his head no.]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I think we'll take it.

[Real Estate Woman] Good.

***

[Dana Barrett] [Entering her apartment building with groceries] [Sees neighbor outside elevator] Oh, hi!
[Walks down hallway]

[Louis Tully] Oh, Dana, it's you.

[Dana Barrett] Oh, hi. Yes, Louis, it's me.

[Louis Tully] I thought it was the drugstore.

[Dana Barrett] Oh, are you sick?

[Louis Tully] Oh, no, no, I'm fine. I feel great. I just ordered some more vitamins and stuff.
I was just exercising. I taped "20-Minute Workout" on my machine and ...
played it back at high speed. So it only took ten minutes.
I got a great workout.

[Dana Barrett] Good.

[Louis Tully] You wanna come in for a mineral water or something?

[Dana Barrett] I'd really like to, Louis, but I have to go to rehearsal now. Excuse me.

[Louis Tully] No sweat.
I'll take a rain check on that. I always have plenty of low-sodium mineral water and other nutritious foods in the house.
But you already know that.

[Dana Barrett] Yeah, I know that.

[Louis Tully] Listen, that reminds me.
I'm having a big party for all my clients.
My fourth anniversary as an accountant, you know.
And even though you do your own tax return -- which you shouldn't do -- I'd like you to stop by, being that you're my neighbor and all.

[Dana Barrett] Well, thank you, Louis. I'll really try to stop by.

[Louis Tully] Listen, that reminds me. You shouldn't leave your TV on so loud when you go out.
The creep down the hall phoned the manager.

[Dana Barrett] That's strange. I didn't realize I left it on.

[Louis Tully] Oh, yeah.  You know what I did? I climbed on the ledge and tried to disconnect the cable ...
but I couldn't get in.
So you know what I did? I turned up my TV real loud too ...
so everyone would think that both our TVs had something wrong with them.

[Dana Barrett] [Slams door in his face]

[Louis Tully] Okay, so I'll see you later, huh? I'll give you a call.
I'm gonna have a shower.

[Dana's TV is on]

[TV] [Dr. Raymond Stantz] Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?

[TV] [Dr. Egon Spengler] Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?

[TV] [Dr. Peter Venkman] Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter or ghost?

[TV] [Dr. Raymond Stantz] If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute. Pick up your phone and call the professionals.

[TV] [Venkman, Stantz, Spengler] Ghostbusters!

[TV] [Dr. Raymond Stantz] Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day ...
to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.

[TV] [Venkman, Stantz, Spengler] We're ready to believe you!

[Dana Barrett] [Humming in kitchen as she puts her groceries away]

[Eggs start popping out of the container]

[Dana Barrett] [Gasps]

[Growling noises in refrigerator]

[Dana Barrett] [Screams]

***

[Ghostbusters sign]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You don't think it's too subtle, Marty?
You don't think people are gonna drive down and not see the sign?

[Car siren]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You can't park that here.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Everybody can relax. I found the car.
Needs some suspension work ...
and shocks and brakes --
brake pads, lining, steering box ...
transmission, rear end.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] How much?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Only 4,800.
Maybe new rings, also mufflers, a little wiring.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Janine, any calls?

[Janine Meinitz] No.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Any messages?

[Janine Meinitz] No.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Any customers?

[Janine Meinitz] No, Dr. Venkman.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Isn't it a good job?
Type something, will you? We're paying for this stuff.
Don't stare at me. You got bug eyes.
Janine! Sorry about the "bug eyes" thing. I'll be in my office.

[Janine Meinitz] [Egon crawls out from under her desk] You're very handy. I can tell.
I bet you like to read a lot too.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Print is dead.

[Janine Meinitz] That's very fascinating to me.
I read a lot myself.
Some people think I'm too intellectual ...
but I think it's a fabulous way ...
to spend your spare time.
I also play racquetball. Do you have any hobbies?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I collect spores, molds and fungus.

***

[Dana Barrett] Hello?
Excuse me. This is the Ghostbuster's office?

[Janine Meinitz] Yes, it is. Can I help you?

[Dana Barrett] I don't have an appointment. I'd like to talk to someone please.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Leaps out of his office] I'm Peter Venkman. May I help you?

[Dana Barrett] Um, well, I don't know. What I have to say may sound a little unusual.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] It's all we get, day in, day out, around this place.
Come into my office, Miss --

[Dana Barrett] Barrett. Dana Barrett.
[Dana is hooked up to machine]
And this voice said, "Zuul," and then I slammed the refrigerator door ...
and I left.
That was two days ago, and I haven't been back to my apartment.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Generally, you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.
What do you think it was?

[Dana Barrett] Well, if I knew what it was, I wouldn't be here.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Egon, what do you think?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] She's telling the truth. At least she thinks she is.

[Dana Barrett] Well, of course I'm telling the truth.
Who would make up a story like that?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Some are people who just want attention.
Others are just nutballs who come in off the street.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Do you know what it could be? Past life experience intruding on present time.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Could be race memory ...
stored in the collective unconscious.
I wouldn't rule out clairvoyance or telepathic contact either.

[Dana Barrett] [Covering face with hands] I'm sorry. I don't believe in any of those things.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Well, that's all right. I don't either.
But there are some things we do, standard procedures in a case like this, which often bring us results.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Well, I could go to Hall of Records and check out the structural details in the building.
Maybe the building itself ...
has a history of psychic turbulence.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Right. Good idea.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I could look for the name "Zuul" in the usual literature.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] "Spates Catalog."

[Dr. Egon Spengler] "Tobin Spirit Guide."

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'll tell you what. I'll take Miss Barrett back to her apartment and check her out.
I'll go check out Miss Barrett's apartment. Okay?

[Dana Barrett] Okay.
Thank you.

***

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Entering Dana's apartment] Let me.
If something's gonna happen, I want it to happen to me first.
[Barges into closet]

[Dana Barrett] That's the closet.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Plays piano keys]
They hate this.
I like to torture 'em. That's right, boys.
It's Dr. Venkman.
[Pumping his machine "thing"]
A lot of space.
Just you?

[Dana Barrett] Yes.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Good.

[Dana Barrett] What is that thing you're doing?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] It's technical.
It's one of our little toys.

[Dana Barrett] I see.
-Peter going into bedroom] That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] What a crime.

[Dana Barrett] You know, you don't act like a scientist.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] They're usually pretty stiff.

[Dana Barrett] You're more like a game show host.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] That's the kitchen, huh?

[Dana Barrett] [Nods head yes.]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Dana, are these the eggs?

[Dana Barrett] Yes.
You see, I was over there, and these eggs just jumped right our of their shells ...
and started to cook on the counter.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] That is weird.

[Dana Barrett] And that's when I started to hear ...
that awful noise coming from the refrigerator.
Dr. Venkman, you've come all this way. Would you like to check the refrigerator?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Better check the fridge. Good call.
Oh, my God.
Look at all the junk food.

[Dana Barrett] Goddamn it! Look, this wasn't --

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You actually eat this stuff?

[Dana Barrett] Look, this wasn't here. There was nothing here.
There was a space and there was a building or something with flames coming out of it ...
and there were creatures writhing around.
They were growling and snarling.
And there were flames, and I heard a voice say, "Zuul."
It was right here.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm sorry.
I'm just not getting any reading.

[Dana Barrett] Well, are you sure you're using that thing correctly?

[Dr. Venkman] Well, there's nothing ... I think so ...
but I'm sure there are no animals in there.

[Dana Barrett] Well that's great. Either I have a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I don't think you're crazy.

[Dana Barrett] Oh, good. That makes me feel so much better.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Let me tell you something about myself.
I come home from work, to my place, and all I have is my work.
There's nothing else in my life.

[Dana Barrett] Dr. Venkman.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I meet you, and I say, "My God, there's someone with the same problem I have."

[Dana Barrett] Yes, we both have the same problem. You.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm gonna go for broke.
I am madly in love with you.

[Dana Barrett] I don't believe this. Will you please leave?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] And then she threw me out of her life.
She thought I was a creep, she thought I was a geek, and she probably wasn't the first.

[Dana Barrett] You are so odd.
No!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I've got it!

[Dana Barrett] No, no, no, no, no.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'll prove myself to you.

[Dana Barrett] That's not necessary.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yeah, I'll solve your little problem.

[Dana Barrett] Okay.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] And then you'll say, "Pete Venkman's a guy who can get things done."

[Dana Barrett] Right.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] "I wonder what makes him tick."

[Dana Barrett] I wonder.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] "I wonder if he'd be interested in knowing what makes me tick."

[Dana Barrett] Right.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'll bet you're going to be thinking about me after I'm gone.

[Dana Barrett] I bet I am.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] No kiss?

[Dana shoves him out of the door]

***

[Ghostbuster headquarters, communal Chinese meal]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] To our first customer.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] To our first and only customer.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm going to need to draw some petty cash. I should take her out to dinner.
We don't want to lose her.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] This magnificent feast here represents the last of the petty cash.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Slow down. Chew your food.

[Telephone rings]

[Janine Meinitz] Hello, Ghostbusters.
Yes, of course they're serious.
You do?
You have?
No kidding.
Well, just give me the address.
Yes, of course. They'll be totally discreet.
Thank you.
We got one!
[Sounds Alarm bell]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] It's a call!

[Song: The Bus Boys: Cleanin' Up the Town] Gonna tell you a story about a little town I know

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Come on!

[Song] They had a real big problem with some big mean local ghost
Those spooks were making the whole city lose control
Well the mayor was frantic, the town was panicked
'Cause they had no sense of fear
'Cause they knew that they were missing those boys with a mission
So they called them up I cheer
They went boxing and trapping and shooting through the joint
Stepped right in and got down to the point
Those Ghostbusters came in cleanin' up the town, oh yeah

***

[The Sedgwick Hotel]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Hey, anybody see a ghost?

[Hotel Manager] Thank you for coming so quickly.
The guests are starting to ask questions, and I'm running out of excuses.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Has it happened before?

[Hotel Manager] Well, most of the original staff knows about the 12th floor.
The disturbances, I mean.
But it's been quiet for years, up until two weeks ago.
It was never ever this bad, though.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Did you ever report it to anyone?

[Hotel Manager] Oh, heavens, no!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] No! Are you kidding?

[Hotel Manager] The owners don't like us to even talk about it.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] No!

[Hotel Manager] I hope we could take care of this quietly. Tonight.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] It's done.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Yes, sir. Don't worry.
We handle this kind of thing all the time.

[Ghostbusters waiting for elevator]

[Man at Elevator] What are you supposed to be? Some kind of a cosmonaut?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] No, we're exterminators. Somebody saw a cockroach up on 12.

[Man at Elevator] That's gotta be some cockroach.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Bite your head off, man.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Going up?

[Man at Elevator] I'll take the next one.

[Ghostbusters inside elevator]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] You know, it's just occurred to me ...
we really haven't had a completely successful test of this equipment.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I blame myself.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] So do I.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] No sense worrying about it now.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Why worry?
Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Yep. Let's get ready. Switch me on.

[Ghostbusters exit elevator]

[Chambermaid] [Humming]

[Venkman, Stantz, Spengler] [Screaming] [Blasting chambermaid]

[Chambermaid] What the hell are you doing?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Sorry.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Sorry.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I'm sorry.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] We thought you were someone else.
Successful test.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I guess so.
I think we better split up.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Good idea.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yeah, we can do more damage that way.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] [Sees ghost] Venkman! Venkman!
What a disgusting blob!
I'm gonna have to hold him myself.
[Blasts ghost]

[Ghost] [Screaming]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Come in, Ray.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Venkman, I saw it. I saw it. I saw it!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] It's right here, Ray.
It's looking at me.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] He's an ugly little spud, isn't he?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I think he can hear you, Ray.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Don't move. It won't hurt you.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Ghost rushes for him] [Venkman screaming]

[Ghost] [Roaring]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Venkman! Venkman!
Venkman, what happened? Are you okay?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] He slimed me.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] That's great! Actual physical contact!
Can you move?

[Walkie Talkie activated]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Ray! Ray, come in, please.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I feel so funky.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Spengler, I'm with Venkman.
He got slimed.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] That's great, Ray. Save some for me.
Get down here right away. It just went into a ballroom.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Okay, we'll be right there.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] [Speaking to Hotel Manager] Okay, sir, if you and your staff could please wait out here ...
we'll take care of everything.

***

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] There it is.
On the ceiling.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] That's the one that got me.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] All right, boys. Ready?
Throw it!

[Ghost] [Screaming]

[Chandelier crashing]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I did that! I did that!
That's my fault.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] It's okay. The table broke the fall.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] There's something very important I forgot to tell you.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] What?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Don't cross the streams.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Why?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] It would be bad.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm fuzzy on the good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously ...
and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Total protonic reversal.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Right. That's bad.
Okay. Right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.
Alright. Ray, take the left. Egon, take the right.
Okay Ray. Give me one high and outside.
Egon!
Okay.  All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hold it! Hold it!
Nice shootin', Tex!

[Hotel Manager] [Speaking to woman] I assure you, Mrs. Van Houten, there is no problem with the room.
It will be ready promptly on time as soon as your guests are with us.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] The last throw took something out of him but he's gonna move.
I need some room to put the trap down.
Give me some room.

[They turn over tables, table settings crash on floor]

[Hotel Manager] [Hears crashing] [To Mrs. Van Houten] You'll excuse me, please?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] We gotta get this in the clear.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
I've always wanted to do this.
And ...
[Pulls tablecloth out from under table setting]
The flowers are still standing!

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Okay, on my "go" signal ...
Spengler, I want a confinement stream from you, okay? Go!
Okay, hold him up there. He's gonna move. Hold him up. Go!

[Dr. Egon Spengler] It's working, Ray.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Start bringing him down. Start bringing him down. You got him.
Don't cross the streams.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Maybe now you'll never slime a guy with a positron collider, huh?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Venkman, shorten your stream. I don't want my face burned off.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I'm opening the trap now. Don't look directly into the trap.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Ray, I looked at the trap.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Turn your streams off as soon as I close the trap.
Get ready! I'm closing it. Now!

[Dr. Egon Spengler] It's in there.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Hey!

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Well, that wasn't such a chore now, was it?

[Hotel Manager] [To Mr. Smith] Mr. Smith, quickly. I want that door open now! Stand over there.

[Ghostbusters exit ballroom]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

[Hotel Manager] Did you see it? What is it?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] We got it!

[Hotel Manager] What is it? Will there be any more of them?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Sir, what you had there is what we refer to as ...
a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm ...
or a Class-5 full-roaming vapor.
Real nasty one too.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] And now ... let's talk seriously.
Now, for the entrapment ...
we're gonna have to ask you for four big ones.  $4,000 for that.
But we are having a special this week on proton charging ...
and storage of the beast ...
and that's only going to come to $1,000 fortunately.

[Hotel Manager] Five thousand dollars? I had no idea it'd be so much. I won't pay it.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Well that's alright. We can just put it right back in there.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Yes, we certainly can, Dr. Venkman.

[Hotel Manager] [Grabbing Ray] No!
All right. Anything.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Thanks so much. Thank you.
Hope we can help you again. Coming through!
One Class-5 free-roaming vapor.

***

[Dana's TV]

[Roger Grimsby] Good morning, I'm Roger Grimsby.
Today, the entire Eastern Seaboard is alive with talk of incidents of paranormal activity.
Alleged ghost sighting and related supernatural occurrences ...
have been reported across the entire tristate area.

***

[Dana's TV]

[Joe Franklin] Everybody has heard ghost stories around the campfire.
Heck, my grandma used to spin yarns about a spectral locomotive ...
that would rocket past the farm where she grew up.
But now, as if some unforeseen ...

***

[Dana's TV]

["Ghostbusters" Song, by Ray Parker, Jr. ] If there's something strange in your neighborhood

[USA TODAY: Ghost Fever Grips New York]

Who you gonna call
Ghostbusters
If there's something weird and it don't look good

[NEW YORK POST: GHOST COPS BUST CHINATOWN SPOOK]

Who you gonna call
Ghostbusters

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Stand aside, please.

[Larry King] This is Larry King. The phone-in topic today: Ghosts and ghostbusting.
The controversy builds. More sightings are reported.
Some maintain that these professional paranormal eliminators in New York are the cause of it all.

[TIME: GHOSTBUSTERS, SUPERNATURAL SUCCESS STORY]

[Song] If you're seeing things running through your head
Who can you call
Ghostbusters

[OMNI: GHOSTBUSTERS' TOOLS OF THE TRADE]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I got it! I got it!

[Song] An invisible man sleeping in your bed
Who you gonna call
Ghostbusters

[The Atlantic: THE POLITICS OF THE NEXT DIMENSION -- DO GHOSTS HAVE CIVIL RIGHTS?]

***

[Dana Barrett listening to radio while chopping veges in kitchen]

[Radio] [Casey Kasem] Still making headlines all across the country ...
the Ghostbusters are at it again.
This time at the fashionable dance club The Rose.
The boys in gray slugged it out with a pretty pesky poltergeist ...
then stayed on to dance the night away ...
with some of the lovely ladies who witnessed the disturbance.
This is Casey Kasem. Now, on with the countdown.

***

[Dana's TV]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
No job is too big. No fee is too big.

***

[Ghostbuster headquarters]

[Telephone rings]

[Janine Melnitz] Is it just a mist, or does it have arms and legs?

***

[Dana's TV]

[Joe Franklin] [Interviewing Dr. Raymond Stantz] As they say in TV ...
I'm sure there's one big question on everybody's mind ...
and I imagine you are the man to answer that.
How is Elvis, and have you seen him lately?

[Song] You've had a dose of a freaky ghost, baby
You better call
Ghostbusters -- Ow!

[GLOBE: GHOSTBUSTERS SUPER DIET!]

***

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] [Dreaming of ghost giving him a blow job] [Moaning]
[Falls off bed]

***

[Job applicant, Winston Zeddmore, at Ghostbuster headquarters]

[Janine Melnitz] Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections ...
mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance ...
spirit photography, telekinetic movement ...
full-trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster ...
and the theory of Atlantis?

[Winston Zeddmore] If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] [Enters Ghostbuster headquarters] I gotta get some sleep. I'm dyin'.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You don't look good.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I don't?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Well, you've looked better. You didn't used to look like this.

[Janine Melnitz] [To telephone] Can you hold, please?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [To Janine] Here's the paper on the Brooklyn. She paid with Visa.

[Janine Melnitz] Here's tonight's work sheet.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Oh, great! Two more free repeaters.

[Janine Melnitz] This is Winston Zeddmore. He's here about the job.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Beautiful. You're hired. Ray Stantz, Pete Venkman.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Congratulations.

[Dr. Raymond Stanz] Can you help me, please?
Welcome aboard.

***

[Plaza]

[Dana Barrett] I don't know where they get these guest conductors.
I mean, someone should tell him it's not gonna do much good to scream at us in German.

[Violinist] Well, I don't think that the man is competent to conduct a major symphony orchestra.

[Dana Barrett] [Sees Dr. Peter Venkman prancing around fountain] Um, could you wait here a minute?

[Violinist] Uh, sure.

[Dana Barrett] Dr. Venkman, this is a surprise.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] That was a wonderful rehearsal.

[Dana Barrett] You heard that?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yes. You're the best one in your row.

[Dana Barrett] Oh, thank you.
You're good. Most people can't hear me with the whole orchestra playing.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I don't have to take this abuse from you.
I got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

[Dana Barrett] I know. You're a big celebrity now. You have some information for me on my case?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Who's the stiff?

[Dana Barrett] The "stiff" happens to be one of the finest musicians in the world.
Do you have some information for me, please?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Well, sure, but I prefer to give it to you in private.

[Dana Barrett] Why don't you tell me now.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Well, okay. I found the name "Zuul" for you.
Well, the name "Zuul" refers to ...
a demigod worshipped around 6000 B.C. by the --
What's that word?

[Dana Barrett] Hittites.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Hittites ...
Mesopotamians and the Sumerians.

[Dana Barrett] [Grabbing his paper and reading it] "Zuul" was the minion of Gozer." What's Gozer?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Gozer was very big in Sumeria.

[Dana Barrett] Well, what's he doing in my icebox?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm working on that.
If we could get together Thursday night, I'm thinking nineish ...
you know, we could exchange information.

[Dana Barrett] I can't see you Thursday. I'm busy.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Miss Barrett, you seem to think there is something wrong up here ...
that says in your mind, "He enjoys taking his evenings off ...
and spending it with his clients." No.
I'm making a special exception in your case, because ...
I respect you.
It's corny, but I respect you as an artist.
And as a dresser, too. This is a magnificent coordination you have going here today.

[Dana Barrett] Okay, I'll see you Thursday.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'll bring the "Roylance Guide," and we'll eat and read.

[Dana Barrett] [Nods head yes.]

[Violinist] So who the hell is that?

[Dana Barrett] He's just a friend.

[Violinist] A friend?

[Dana Barrett] An old friend.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] All right. I'll see you Thursday. I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you, sir.
And I'm glad you're feeling much better.
You're still very pale though.
A little sun.

[Violinist] What does he do?

[Dana Barrett] He's a scientist.

***

[Ghostbuster headquarters]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] This is where we store all the vapors and entities and slimers that we trap.
Very simple, really. A loaded trap here.
Open. Unlock the system. Insert the trap.
Release.
Close. Lock the system.
Set your entry grid, neutronize your field ...
and ...
the light is green, the trap is clean.
The ghost is incarcerated here in our custom-made storage facility.

[Janine Melnitz] [To Venkman] There's a man from the E.P.A. here to see you. He's waiting in your office.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] E.P.A. What's he want?

[Janine Melnitz] I don't know.
All I do know is that I've been working two weeks without a break ...
and you promised me you'd hire more help.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Janine, someone with your qualifications ...
would have no trouble finding a topflight job in either ...
the food service or housekeeping industries.
[Telephone Rings]
You gonna answer that?

[Janine Melnitz] I've quit better jobs than this.
Ghostbusters! What do you want?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [To Peck] Can I help you?

[Walter Peck] I'm Walter Peck.
I represent the Environmental Protection Agency, the third district.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Wiping ghost slime all over Peck] Great. How's it goin' down there?

[Walter Peck] Are you Peter Venkman?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yes, I'm Dr. Venkman.

[Walter Peck] Exactly what are you a doctor of, Mr. Venkman?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Well, I have Ph.D.s in parapsychology and psychology.

[Walter Peck] I see.
And now you catch ghosts.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yeah, you could say that.

[Walter Peck] And how many ghosts have you caught, Mr. Venkman?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm not at liberty to say.

[Walter Peck] And where do you put these ghosts ...
once you catch them?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Into a storage facility.

[Walter Peck] And would this storage facility be located on these premises?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yes.

[Walter Peck] And may I see this storage facility?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] No.

[Walter Peck] And why not, Mr. Venkman?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Because you did not use the magic word.

[Walter Peck] What is the magic word, Mr. Venkman?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Please.

[Walter Peck] May I please see the storage facility, Mr. Venkman?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Why do you want to see the storage facility?

[Walter Peck] Because I'm curious.
I want to know more about what you do here.
Frankly, there have been a lot of wild stories in the media.
And we want to assess any possible environmental impact ...
from your operation.
For instance, the presence of noxious, possibly hazardous waste ...
chemicals in your basement.
Now, you either show me what is down there ...
or I come back with a court order.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You go get a court order, and I'll sue your ass for wrongful prosecution.

[Walter Peck] You can have it your way, Mr. Venkman.

***

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I'm worried, Ray. It's getting crowded in there.
And all my recent data points to something big on the horizon.

[Winston Zeddmore] What do you mean, "Big"?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount ...
of psychokinetic energy in the New York area.
According to this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie ...
thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately 600 pounds.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] [Coughs big]

[Winston Zeddmore] That's a big Twinkie.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] We could be on the verge of a fourfold cross rip --
a P.K.E. surge of incredible, even dangerous proportions.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Entering downstairs] We just had a visit from the Environmental Protection Agency.
How's the grid holdin' up?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Not good.

[Winston Zeddmore] Tell him about the Twinkie.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] What about the Twinkie?

***

[Thunder and lightning]

[Dragon statue claw breaks open, reveals live claw]

[Dragon statue eye breaks open, reveals live eye]

***

[Dana's apartment]

[Dana Barrett sneaking down her apartment hallway]

[Louis Tully] Oh Dana, it's you.

[Dana Barrett] Hello, Louis.

[Louis Tully] You gotta come in here. You're missing a classic party.

[Dana Barrett] Yes, well I would, Louis, but I have a date coming over.

[Louis Tully] You made a date? Tonight?

[Dana Barrett] Well, I'm sorry, Louis. I forgot.

[Louis Tully] Well, that's okay. You can bring him along.

[Dama Barrett] All right. Maybe we'll stop by. Okay?

[Louis Tully] That's great. I'll tell everybody you're coming.
We're gonna play Twister, we're gonna do some break dancing.
[Dana Barrett slams door in his face]
[At his own door] Hey, let me in! It's Louis! Somebody let me in!

[Thunder and lightning]

[Dana's Telephone rings]

[Dana Barrett] Hello? Oh, hi, Mom.
I've been busy.
Well, no, everything is fine.
No, just that one time.
Oh, I am.
I will.
I won't.
Mom, I have to go. I have a date.
Yes. No one you know.
Well, he's a Ghostbuster.
Those guys on TV.
Yes, well I'll have to let you know.
Okay. Love to Dad. Right. Bye. Bye.

[Relaxes in chair]

[Weird sounds from kitchen]

[Dana Barrett] Oh, shit.

[Demon hands and claws come out of chair and grab her]

[Dana screams, chair slides into kitchen]

[Dragon in kitchen roaring]

***

[Outside on building] [Dragon statue broken into pieces, live animal gone]

***

[Louis's Party]

[Woman at Party] Do you have any Excedrin or extra-strength Tylenol?

[Louis Tully] Oh, gee. I think all I got is acetylsalicylic acid. Generic.
See, I can get 600 tablets of that for the same price as 300 of a name brand.
That makes good financial sense. Good advice.
[To Partygoers] Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada.
$24.95 a pound.
It only cost me $14.23 after tax though.
[To Marv] I'm giving this whole thing as a promotional expense.
That's why I invited clients instead of friends. Are you having a good time, Marv?
[To other partygoers] How you doing? Why don't you have some of the Brie. It's at room temperature.
[To Tall Woman] Do you think it's too warm in here for the Brie?

[Tall woman at party] Louis, I'm going home.

[Louis Tully] Don't leave yet. Listen, maybe if we start dancing, other people will join in.

[Tall Woman at Party] Okay.

[Doorbell rings]

[Louis Tully] Oh, don't move. I just gotta get the door.
[Opens door] Ted! Annette! I'm glad you could come. How you doing?
Give me your coats.
Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming.
Ted has a small carpet cleaning business in receivership.
Annette's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago.
They got $ 15,000 left on the house at 8%.
So they're okay.
[Tosses coats into bedroom on dragon]
So, does anybody wanna play Parcheesi?

[Growling in closet]

[Louis Tully] Okay, who brought the dog?

[Dragon leaps out]

[Guests screaming]

[Louis screaming]

[Louis escaping out front door]

[Dragon follows Louis]

[Neighbor screaming]

[Louis Tully] [Runs out of apartment building] Help! There's a bear loose in my apartment! Help!
Help!

[Doorman] [To man] A bear in his apartment?

[Dragon comes bounding out, knocks doorman over]

[Louis Tully] [Running down street] I'm gonna bring this up at the next tenants' meeting.
There are not supposed to be any pets in the building.

[Arrives at restaurant with big glass windows all around]

[Louis Tully] [Bangs on doors] Let me in. It's locked. There's gotta be a way in here!
[Banging on window] Please, somebody! Let me in!

[Diners ignore him]

[Growling behind him]

[Louis Tully] [Turns around] Nice doggy. Cute little pooch.
Maybe I got a Milk Bone.

[Dragon attacks him]

[Louis screaming]

[Diners ignore him]

***

[Dana's apartment building]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Arriving] Hey, what happened?

[Policeman] Some moron brought a cougar to a party, and it went berserk.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [To Doorman] Hi. I'm going up to Dana Barrett's.

[Doorman] Okay.

[Policeman in Tully's apartment] How do you spell that?

[Woman at Party] "T-U-L-L-Y."

[Policeman in Tully's apartment] Is he still here?

[Woman at Party] No, he ran out.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [knocks on Dana's door] [Dana opens it] Hello.
That's a different look for you, isn't it?

[Dana Barrett] Are you the Keymaster?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Not that I know of.

[Dana slams door in his face]

[Peter Venkman] [knocks on door again]

[Dana Barrett] Are you the Keymaster?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yes.
I'm a friend of his. He told me to meet him here.
I didn't get your name.

[Dana Barrett] I am Zuul. I am the Gatekeeper.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Oh.
What are we doing today, Zuul?

[Dana Barrett] We must prepare for the coming of Gozer.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Gozer, huh?

[Dana Barrett] The Destructor.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Are we still going out?
You know, you could pick up the place if you're expecting someone.

[Dana Barrett] [Laying on her bed] Do you want this body?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Is this a trick question?
I guess the roses worked, huh?

[Dana Barrett] Take me now, subcreature.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] We never talk anymore.
Whoa. Easy, easy.
I make it a rule never to get involved ...
with possessed people.
Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule.
You know I can --

[Dana Barrett] I want you inside me.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Laughing] Go ahead. No, I can't.
Sounds like you've got at least two people in there already.
Might be a little crowded.
Come on, why don't you just quit trying ...
to upset and disturb Dr. Venkman and just relax?
Lie down there. Relax.
Put your hands on your chest.
What I'd really like to do is talk to Dana.
I want to talk to Dana.
Dana? It's Peter.

[Dana Barrett] There is no Dana. There is only Zuul.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Oh, Zuulie, you nut. Now, come on.
Come on. I want to talk to Dana.
Dana.
Just relax. Come on.
Dana. Dana. Can I talk to Dana?

[Dana Barrett] [Man's voice] There is no Dana, only Zuul.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] What a lovely singing voice you must have.
Now, I'm going to count to three, Zuulie, and if I don't get to talk to Dana ...
there's going to be some real trouble in this apartment, I think.
One.

[Dana Barrett] [Growling]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Two.

[Dana Barrett] [Growling]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Two and a half.

[Dana Barrett] [Growling] [Levitating and turning as on a spit]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Please, come down.

[Dana Barrett] [Big growling]

***

[Louis Tully] [Wandering around street] I am the Keymaster.
The Destructor is coming.
Gozer, the Traveller, the Destroyer.
Gatekeeper.
I am Vinz ...
Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer ...|
Volguus, Zildrohar, Lord of the Sebouillia.
[To Coachman's Horse] Are you the Gatekeeper?

[Coachman] Hey, he pulls the wagon. I make the deals. You want a ride?

[Louis Tully] [Growls at Coachman]
[Speaking to horse] Wait for the sign. Then all prisoners will be released.
[Speaking to Coachman] You will perish in flame!

[Coachman] What an asshole.

***

[Ghostbuster headquarters]

[Policeman knocking at door]

[Janine Melnitz] Dropping off or picking up?

[Policeman] Dropping off.

[Janine Melnitz] Just a moment.

[Dr. Egon Spengler comes out]

[Policeman] You a Ghostbuster?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Yes.

[Policeman] We picked up this guy. Now we don't know what to do with him.
Bellevue doesn't want him, and I'm afraid to put him in the lockup.
And I know you guys are into this stuff, so I figured we'd check with you.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] All right.

[Louis Tully] Are you the Gatekeeper?

[Egon's P.K.E. Meter registers activity from Louis]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] You better bring him inside.

[Janine Melnitz] You are so kind to take care of that man.
You know, you're a real humanitarian.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I don't think he's human.

[Louis is hooked up to machine]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] What did you say your name was?

[Louis Tully] Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer.

[Janine Melnitz] According to this, his name is Louis Tully.
Lives on Central Park West.
Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tully?

[Louis Tully] Do I?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Yes, have some.

[Louis Tully] Yes, have some.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign.
What sign are you waiting for?

[Louis Tully] Gozer the Traveller. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms.
During the rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveller came as a large and moving Torb!
Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants ...
they chose a new form for him, that of a giant Sloar!
Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted ...
in the depths of the Sloar that day, I can tell you.

[Janine Melnitz] Egon?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Excuse me.

[Janine Melnitz] There's something very strange about that man.
Listen, I'm usually very psychic ...
and I have a terrible feeling that something awful's going to happen to you.
I'm afraid you're gonna die.

[Telephone rings]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I'll get it.
Hello?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Egon, it's Peter.

[Louis Tully grabs telephone]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] [To Louis] Thanks. I've got it.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I have some news from the world of Gozer.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] What is it, Peter?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm here with Dana Barrett.
It seems the Goz has been putting some moves on my would-be girlfriend.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] How is she?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I think we can get her a guest shot on "Wild Kingdom."
I just whacked her up with about 300 cc's of Thorazine.
She's going to take a little nap now, but she says she's the Gatekeeper.
Does that make any sense to you?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Some.
I just met the Keymaster. He's here with me now.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Oh, wonderful.
We have to get these two together.

[Louis Tully smells popcorn jar]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Okay, well hold on to him. I'll be there in a little while.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Good.

[Louis Tully hands Egon a lamp]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Thank you, Vinz.
We have to find Ray. I need him here immediately.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [To Dana] Bad news, honey.
I gotta go to work.
Hey, will you stay here in bed until I get back?

***

[Ghostbuster car traveling down freeway]

[Winston Zeddmore] Hey, Ray.
Do you believe in God?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Never met him.

[Winston Zeddmore] Yeah, well, I do.
And I love Jesus' style, you know?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] This roof cap is made of a magnesium-tungsten alloy.

[Winston Zeddmore] What are you so involved with there?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] These are the blueprints for the structural ironwork in Dana Barrett's apartment building ...
and they're very, very strange.

[Winston Zeddmore] Hey, Ray.
Do you remember something in the Bible about ...
the last days when the dead would rise from the grave?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I remember Revelations 7:12.
"And I looked as he opened the sixth seal ...
and behold, there was a great earthquake;
and the sun became as black as sackcloth ...
and the moon became as blood."

[Winston Zeddmore] "And the seas boiled, and the skies fell."

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Judgment Day.

[Winston Zeddmore] Judgment Day.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.

[Winston Zeddmore] Myth!
Ray, has it ever occurred to you ...
that maybe the reason we've been so busy lately ...
is because the dead have been rising from the grave.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] How about a little music?

[Winston Zeddmore] Yeah.

***

[Ghostbuster headquarters]

[Walter Peck] [Arriving with sherriffs] This way.

[Janine Melnitz] Excuse me.
Excuse me! Just where do you think you're going?

[Walter Peck] Step aside, miss, or I'll have you arrested for interfering with a police officer.

[Janine Melnitz] Oh, no! Hold on. I've seen TV.
I know you can't come in here without a warrant or a writ or something.

[Walter Peck] [Hands her manila envelope] Cease and desist all commerce order, seizure of premises and chattels ...
ban on the use of public utilities for nonlicensed waste handlers ...
and a federal entry and inspection order.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Vinz, there's one more test I'd like to perform.

[Janine Melnitz] [Coming downstairs] Egon!
I tried to stop them. He says they have a warrant.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] [To Peck] Excuse me. This is private property.

[Walter Peck] [To Con Edison man] Shut this off. Shut these all off.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I'm warning you. Turning off these machines would be extremely hazardous.

[Walter Peck] I'll tell you what's hazardous. You're facing federal prosecution for at least a half a dozen environmental violations.
Now, either you shut off these beams, or we shut them off for you.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Try to understand. This is a high-voltage, laser containment system.
Simply turning it off would be like dropping a bomb on the city.

[Walter Peck] Don't patronize me! I'm not grotesquely stupid like the people you bilk.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Arrives in taxi, sees policemen outside] [Goes downstairs] At ease, Officer. I'm Peter Venkman. I think there's just been a slight misunderstanding.
And I want to cooperate in any way that I can.

[Walter Peck] Forget it, Venkman.
You had your chance to cooperate, but you thought it would be more fun to insult me.
Well now it is my turn, wiseass.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] He wants to shut down the protection grid, Peter.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You shut that thing down, and we are not going to be held responsible for whatever happens.

[Walter Peck] On the contrary, you will be held responsible.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] No, we won't be responsible.

[Walter Peck] Shut it off!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Don't shut it off. I'm warning you.

[Con Edison Man] Uh, I've never seen anything like this before. I don't know --

[Walter Peck] Well, I'm not interested in your opinion. Just shut it off.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [To Con Edison guy] My friend, don't be a jerk.

[Policeman] Step aside.

[Walter Peck] If he does that again, you can shoot him.

[Policeman] [To Walter Peck] You do your job, pencil neck. Don't tell me how to do mine.

[Peter Venkman] Thank you, Officer.

[Walter Peck] Shut it off!

[Dr. Egon Spengler] [Lipsynchs "boom"]

[Con Edison Man pulls lever]

[Alarm bell sounds]

[Con Edison Man] Oh, shit.

[Wall starts to blow]

[Everyone runs out of building]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Clear the building!

[Roof blows open]

[Dana Barrett wakes up]

[Debris flying all over]

[Dr. Peter Venkman]  Whoa!

[Louis Tully] This is it. This is the sign.

[Janine Melnitz] Yeah, it's a sign all right ...
"Going Out of Business."

[Policeman] There he is! Up there!

[Louis Tully walks down street]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] [Arriving] What happened?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Storage facility blew. He shut off the protection grid.

[Dr. Raymond Spengler] Oh, great.

[Winston Zeddmore] That's bad, isn't it?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Yeah.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Where's the Keymaster?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Shit!

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Who's the Keymaster?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Come on! [Collides with Peck]

[Walter Peck] Hold it! I want this man arrested.
Captain, these men are in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act!
And this explosion is a direct result of it.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Your mother could --

[Egon and Peck fighting]

[Policeman] Hold it! Hold it!

[Song: "Magic," by Mick Smiley] "Please - please - please - let's make some"
I believe it's magic
I believe it's magic
I believe it's magic, magic
I believe it's magic
I believe it's magic
I believe it's magic, magic
Magic, magic

[Businessman in Cab] Columbia Building, 57th Street.
I'm in a hurry, so let's not dawdle.

[Cab driver is a skeleton]

[Dana Barrett's apartment window blows out]

***

[Jail]

[Winston Zeddmore] Hey, guard!
I want to make a phone call.
Hey, I just work with these guys. I mean, I wasn't even there!

[Dr. Egon Spengler] The structure of this roof cap is exactly like ...
the kind of telemetry tracker that NASA uses ...
to identify dead pulsars in deep space.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Cold-riveted girders ...
with cores of pure selenium.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Everybody getting this so far?
So what? I guess they just don't make them like they used to, huh?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] [Hits Venkman upside the head] No! Nobody ever made them like this.
I mean, the architect was either a certified genius or an authentic wacko.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Ray ...
for a moment ...
pretend that I don't know anything about ...
metallurgy, engineering or physics ...
and just tell me what the hell is going on.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] You never studied.
The whole building is ...
a huge, super conductive antenna ....
that was designed and built expressly for the purpose ...
of pulling in and concentrating spiritual turbulence.
Your girlfriend lives ...
in the corner penthouse of Spook Central.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] She's not my girlfriend.
I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers.
Four feet above her covers.
She barks. She drools. She claws.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] It's not the girl, Peter. It's the building.
Something terrible is about to enter our world ...
and this building is obviously the door.
The architect's name was Ivo Shandor.
I found it in "Tobin's Spirit Guide."
He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery.
And then in 1920, he started a secret society.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Let me guess.
Gozer worshipers.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Right.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [To Ray] No studying.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] After the first world war, Shandor decided that society was too sick to survive.
And he wasn't alone. He had close to 1,000 followers when he died.
They conducted rituals up on the roof.
Bizarre rituals intended to bring about the end of the world ...
and now it looks like it may actually happen.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Singing] So be good for goodness sake
Whoa ...
Somebody's coming

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] We have to get out of here.
We've got to go to a judge or something.

[Winston Zeddmore] Hey, wait a minute! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey! Hold it!
Are we actually going to go before a federal judge
and say that some moldy Babylonian god ...
is going to drop into Central Park West and start tearing up the city?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Sumerian, not Babylonian.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yeah, big difference.

[Winston Zeddmore] No offense, but I got to get my own lawyer.

[Jail Guard] Okay, Ghostbusters, the mayor wants to see you guys.
The whole island's going crazy. Let's go.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [To other inmates] I've got to split. The mayor wants to rap with me about some things.

***

[Dana Barrett's Apartment Building]

[Louis Tully] [Looks up from street and sees building, enters Dana's apartment] I am the Keymaster.

[Dana Barrett] I am the Gatekeeper.

[Dana grabs Louis and kisses him]

***

[City Hall]

[Everybody arrives]

[Policeman] Get back. Stay back.
Stay back.

[Policeman] Let's go.

[Mayor] I've got a city blowing up, and you guys are not giving me any answers.

[Police Commissioner] We're blocking the bridges, the roads. What else are we going to do?

[Mayor's Aide] The Ghostbusters are here, Mr. Mayor.

[Mayor] Ghostbusters. Okay, the Ghostbusters.
Hey, where's this Peck?

[Walter Peck] Hey!
I am Walter Peck, sir, and I'm prepared to make a full report.
These men are consummate snowball artists.
They use sense and nerve gases to induce hallucinations.
People think they're seeing ghosts.
And they call these bozos who conveniently show up ...
to deal with the problem with a fake, electronic light show.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by Dickless here.

[Walter Peck] They caused an explosion.

[Mayor] Is this true?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.

[Peck attacks Peter]

[Mayor] Break it up.
Come on.

[Walter Peck] All right.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Well, that's what I heard!

[Mayor] This is City Hall.
Now what am I going to do here, John? What is this?

[Fire Commissioner] All I know is that was no light show we saw this morning.
I've seen every form of combustion known to man ...
but this beats the hell out of me.

[Police Commissioner] The walls in the 53rd precinct were bleeding.
How do you explain that?

[Archbishop] [Enters] Good afternoon, gentlemen.

[Mayor] Oh, Your Eminence.
[Kisses his ring]

[Archbishop] How are you, Lenny?

[Mayor] You're looking good, Mike. We're in a real fix here.
What do you think I should do?

[Archbishop] Lenny, officially the church will not take any position ...
on the religious implications of these phenomena.
Personally, Lenny ...
I think it's a sign from God.
But don't quote me on that.

[Mayor] I think that's a smart move, Mike.
I'm not going to call a press conference and tell everyone to start praying.

[Winston Zeddmore] I'm Winston Zeddmore, Your Honor.
I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks ...
But I gotta tell you, these things are real.
Since I joined these men, I have seen shit that'll turn you white.

[Police Commissioner blanches]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [To Mayor] Well, you can believe Mr. Pecker --

[Walter Peck] My name is "Peck."

[Dr. Peter Venkman] ... or you could accept the fact that this city ...
is headed for a disaster of Biblical proportions.

[Mayor] What do you mean, "biblical"?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor.
Real wrath of God type stuff.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Exactly.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies.
Rivers and seas boiling.

[Dr. Egon Stengler] Forty years of darkness!
Earthquakes, volcanoes!

[Winston Zeddmore] The dead rising from the grave.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria!

[Mayor] Enough! I get the point.
But what if you're wrong?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] If I'm wrong, nothing happens! We go to jail.
Peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it.
But if I'm right ...
and we can stop this thing ...
Lenny ...
you will have saved the lives ...
of millions of registered voters.

[Archbishop] [Nods head yes.]

[Walter Peck] I don't believe you're seriously considering listening to these men.

[Mayor] Get him out of here.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [To Peck] Bye.

[Walter Peck] I'll fix you, Venkman. I'm going to fix you.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm going to get you a nice fruit basket. I'm going to miss him.

[Mayor] We got work to do. Now what do you need from me?

***

[Army of policemen and soldiers mobilized]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Come on! Let's run some red lights!

[Song: "Savin' The Day," by Bobby Alessi] I can see the danger signs
Sneakin' up from behind
Kinda like someone's tellin' me what to say
Looks like you've lost control
Somethin' goin' on in your soul
I can see you comin' from a mile away
Savin' the day, savin' the day
When you get to the point where it's drivin' you insane
Savin' the day, savin' the day, ooh

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Hello, New York!
[Holding up Ray's arm to crowd] Dr. Ray Stantz, would you please, the heart of the Ghostbusters.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Thank you.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] They love you. They love you here.
[To man in crowd] I like that shirt, friend.

[Crowd] Ghostbusters, all right!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Gotta run. Got a date with a ghost.
Okay, whatever happens, let's be professionals.

[Crowd] Go get 'em!

[Creepy music]

[Thunder, lightning]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] We might have to put a little overtime in on this one.

[Things crashing off building]

[Pavement giving way]

[People screaming]

[Big wind]

[Water main busts]

[Ghostbusters buried and reemerging from ground]

[Woman] There they are.
There they are!

[Woman] He's okay.

[Crowd clapping]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I was in no way prepared for that.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [To crowd] It's all right. Don't worry.
We're fine. We can handle it.
They want to play rough.

[Crowd] Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Want to play rough? Let's do it!

[Ghostbusters make pact with their hands]

[Crowd shouting and cheering]

***

[Inside apartment house]

[Ghostbusters climbing long stairs]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Where are we?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] It looks like we're in the teens somewhere.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] When we get to twenty, tell me.
I'm gonna throw up.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Twenty-two. Is this it?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Yep.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Art deco, very nice.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Where is it?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] It's at the end of the hall.

[Entering Dana's blasted out apartment]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Hey, where do these stairs go?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] They go up.

[Thunder]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Okay, go ahead. Come on. Go ahead.
Fine. Go ahead.
[Sees Dana convulsed by lightning]
Dana!
Dana!

[Thunder and lightning]

[Dana turns into dragon]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Okay, so ...
she's a dog.

[Palace appears, Gozer appears]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] It's a girl.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] It's Gozer.

[Winston Zeddmore] I thought Gozer was a man.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] It's whatever it wants to be.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Well, whatever it is, it's got to get by us.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Right.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Go get her, Ray!

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Gozer the Gozerian?
Good evening.
As a duly designated representative of the City ...
County and State of New York ...
I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity ...
and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] That ought to do it. Thanks very much, Ray.

[Gozer] Are you a god?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Nods his head yes.]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] No.

[Gozer] Then ...
die!

[Gozer hits Ghostbusters with electricity from her hands, they scream]

[Dragons laugh]

[People on street frightened]

[Winston Zeddmore] Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god ...
you say, "Yes!"

[Dr. Peter Venkman] All right.
This chick is toast!
Got your stick?

[All Ghostbusters] Holding it!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Heat 'em up!

[All Ghostbusters] Smoking!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Make 'em hard!

[All Ghostbusters] Ready!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.

[Gozer] [Growling]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Throw it!
[Gozer flies up and does somersault in air]
 Nimble little minx, isn't she?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] We're gonna go full stream.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Aim for the flattop!

[Gozer disappears]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Wasn't so hard.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] We neutronized it.
You know what that means? A complete particle reversal.

[Winston Zeddmore] We had the tools. We had the talent.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] It's Miller time.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] [Looking at his meter] Ray, this looks extraordinarily bad.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Oh, no.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] What?

[Creaking and heaving sounds]

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Look out!

[Demon statue head falls and breaks apart]

[Gozer] Subcreatures!
Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor ...
Volguus, Zildrohar, the Traveller has come.
Choose and perish.

[Dr. Ray Stantz] What do you mean, "choose"? We don't understand.

[Gozer] Choose.
Choose the form of the destructor.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Oh, I get it. I get it.
Oh, very cute.
Whatever we think of.
If we think of J. Edgar Hoover ...
J. Edgar Hoover will appear and destroy us.
Okay? So empty your heads. Empty your heads. Don't think of anything.
We've only got one shot at this.

[Gozer] The choice is made.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[Gozer] The Traveller has come.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Nobody choosed anything!
[To Egon] Did you choose anything?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] No.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [To Winston] Did you?

[Winston Zeddmore] My mind is totally blank.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I didn't choose anything!

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I couldn't help it.
It just popped in there.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] What?
What just popped in there?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I tried to think --

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Look!

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] No! It can't be.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] What is it?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] It can't be.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] What did you do, Ray?

[Winston Zeddmore] Oh, shit.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

[Marshmallow Man roaring and stomping]

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Well, there's something you don't see everyday.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] I tried to think of the most harmless thing.
Something I loved from my childhood.
Something that could never ever possibly destroy us.
Mr. Stay Puft.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Nice thinking, Ray.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] We used to roast Stay Puft marshmallows ...
by the fire at Camp Waconda.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon.
What have you got left?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Sorry, Venkman.
I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

[Marshmallow Man roars and stomps on a church]

[Winston Zeddmore] Oh, no.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Mother puss bucket!
Nobody steps on a church in my town!

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] One, two, three, roast him!

[Marshmallow Man roars]

[Ghostbusters take cover]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Funny us going out like this.
Killed by a 100-foot marshmallow man.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is okay.
He's a sailor. He's in New York.
We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways.
We could reverse the particle flow through the gate.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] How?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] We'll cross the streams.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Excuse me, Egon. You said crossing the streams was bad.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] "Cross the streams."

[Dr. Peter Venkman] You're going to endanger us. You're going to endanger our client ...
the nice lady who paid us in advance before she became a dog.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Not necessarily.
There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive.

[Dr. Peter Venkman] [Slaps Ray] I love this plan.
I'm excited to be a part of it. Let's do it!

[Winston Zeddmore] This job is definitely not worth eleven-five a year.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Hurry!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] See you on the other side, Ray.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Nice working with you Dr. Venkman.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Turn them on, Spengler!
Cross them now!
Get the hell out of here!

[Explosions]

[Walter Peck covered with Hot Marshmallow, he screams]

[Devastation and quiet]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Winston, are you all right?

[Winston Zeddmore] Yeah, yeah.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Venkman?
Spengler!
Venkman!
Spengler!
Oh, Spengler. Are you okay?

[Dr. Egon Spengler] I feel like the floor of the taxicab.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Venky!

[Dr. Egon Spengler] Yeah, where are you?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Oh, thank God.
Are you okay?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm all right.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] You all right?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] I'm all right.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] You okay?

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Fine.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Oh! Smells like barbecued dog hair.
Oh! Venkman.
Oh, Venkman, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I just forgot.

[Dana's hand breaks through dragon's arm]

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Look!

[Dana Barrett] [Moaning]

[Louis Tully] Somebody turn on the lights!
Help!

[Dr. Peter Venkman] Go check on that little guy.

[Louis Tully] What happened?

[Dana Barrett] Oh! Oh! Oh! Where am I?
[To Peter] Oh, hi.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] [To Louis] You'll be all right.

[Louis Tully] Boy, the superintendent's gonna be pissed.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] Are you okay?

[Louis Tully] Who are you guys?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] We're the Ghostbusters.

[Louis Tully] Who does your taxes?

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] You know, Mr. Tully, you are a most fortunate individual.

[Louis Tully] I know.

[Dr. Raymond Stantz] You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross rip
since the Tunguska blast of 1909.

[Louis Tully] Felt great.

[Dr. Egon Spengler] We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue.

[Louis Tully] Okay.

[Winston Zeddmore] I love this town!

[Song: Ghostbuster theme song] Ghostbusters! If there's something strange
in your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
Ghostbusters!
If there's something weird

Directed by Ivan Reitman

and it don't look good

Written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis

Who ya gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

Starring Bill Murray

I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Dan Aykroyd

If you're seeing things

Sigourney Weaver

running through your head
Who can ya call?

Harold Ramis

Ghostbusters
An invisible man sleeping in your bed

Rick Moranis

Who ya gonna call?

[Louis Tully] What's going on?

Ghostbusters

[Louis Tully] Does anybody want to interview me?
I'm an eyewitness. I was up there.

Annie Potts

I ain't afraid of no ghosts

[Louis Tully] I want to go with them in the car.

William Atherton

I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Ernie Hudson

Who ya gonna call?

Produced by Ivan Reitman

Ghostbusters

Director of Photography Laszlo Kovacs A.S.C.

If ya all alone
pick up the phone
and call
Ghostbusters
I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Production Design by John De Cuir

I hear it likes the girls

Film Edited by Sheldon Kahn A.C.E.

With David Blewitt A.C.E.

I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Executive Producer Bernie Brillstein

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Who ya gonna call?

Associate Producers Joe Medjuck and Michael C. Gross

Ghostbusters
If you've had a dose of a
freaky ghost baby
Ya better call
Ghostbusters

Visual Effects by Richard Edmund, A.S.C.

Music by Elmer Bernstein

Ow! I'm going to tell you something

"Ghostbusters" Written and performed by Ray Parker, Jr.

Busting makes me feel good

Costumes by Theoni V. Aldredge

I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Casting by Karen Rea

Ghostbusters

[Ghost screaming]

Cast

Dr. Peter Venkman: Bill Murray
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Dan Aykroyd
Dana Barrett: Sigourney Weaver
Dr. Egon Spengler: Harold Ramis
Louis Tully: Rick Moranis
Janine Melnitz: Annie Potts
Walter Peck: William Atherton
Winston Zeddmore: Ernie Hudson
Mayor: David Margulies
Male Student: Steven Tash
Female Student: Jennifer Runyon
Gozer: Slavitza Jovan
Hotel Manager: Michael Ensign
Librarian: Alice Drummond
Dean Yeager: Jordan Charney
Violinist: Timothy Carhart
Library Administrator: John Rothman
Archbishop: Tom McDermott
Roger Grimsby: Himself
Larry King: Himself
Joe Franklin: Himself
Casey Kasem: Himself
Fire Commissioner: John Ring
Police Commissioner: Norman Matlock
Police Captain: Joe Cirillo
Police Sergeant: Joe Schmeg
Jail Guard: Reggie Vel Johnson
Real Estate Woman: Rhoda Gemignani
Man at Elevator: Murray Rubin
Con Edison Man: Larry Dilg
Coachman: Danny Stone
Woman at Party: Patty Dworkin
Tall Woman at Party: Jean Kasem
Doorman: Lenny Del Genio
Chambermaid: Frances E. Nealy
Hot Dog Vendor: Sam Moses
TV Reporter: Christopher Wynkoop
Businessman in Cab: Winston May
Mayor's Aide: Tommy Hollis
Louis's Neighbor: Eda Reis Merin
Policeman at Apartment: Rich Macini
Mrs. Van Hoffman: Kathryn Janssen
Reporters: Stanley Grover, Carol Ann Henry, James Hardy, Frances Turner, Nancy Kelly
Ted Fleming: Paul Trafas
Annette Fleming: Cheryl Birchenfield
Library Ghost: Ruth Oliver
Dream Ghost: Kym Herrin
Stunt Coordinator: Bill Couch

Filmed in Panavision

Copyright 1984
Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc.
All rights reserved.

A Columbia Pictures Presentation
A Black Rhino / Bernie Brillstein Production
An Ivan Reitman Film
Subtitles by Captions, Inc. Los Angeles

Production Credits.

Director - Ivan Reitman
Screenplay - Dan Aykroyd
Screenplay - Harold Ramis
Executive Producer - Bernie Brillstein

Producer - Ivan Reitman
Associate Producer - Joe Medjuck
Associate Producer - Michael C. Gross
Director of Photography - Laszlo Kovacs
Director of Photography - Herb Wagreitch
Editor - Sheldon Kahn
Editor - David Blewitt
Production Designer - John De Cuir
Art Direction - John De Cuir Jr.
Art Direction - John Jay Moore
Music - Elmer Bernstein
Assistant Editor - Saul Saladow
Assistant Editor - James Seidelman
Assistant Editor - Joseph A. Mosca
Visual Effects - Richard Edlund
Song Performer - Ray Parker Jr.
Song - Ray Parker Jr.
Production Manager - John G. Wilson
Assistant Director - Gary Daigler
Assistant Director - Katterli Frauenfelder
Camera Operator - Robert M. Stevens
Assistant Camera - Joseph B. Thibo
Assistant Camera - Paul Mindrup
Script Supervisor - Trish Kinney
Special Effects Supervisor - Chuck Gaspar
Special Effects Foreman - Joe Day
Set Design - George Eckert
Set Decorator - Marvin March
Set Decorator - Robert Drumheller
Property Master - Jack E. Ackerman
Costume Designer - Theoni V. Aldredge
Costume Supervisor - Bruce Ericksen
Costumes - Dayton Anderson
Costumes - Peggy Thorin
Makeup - Leonard Engelman
Makeup - Guy Gilbert
Hairstyles - Dione Taylor
Gaffer - Colin Campbell
Gaffer - Bill Ward
Bestboy - Bob Jason
Key Grip - Gene Kearney
Key Grip - Norman Buck
Grip - Bob Munoz
Bestboy - Bob Munoz
Construction Coordinator - Don Noble
Painter - Paul Campanella
Location Manager - Paul Pav
Production Supervisor - Richard Kerrigan
Production Coordinator - Rita Miller-Grant
Production Coordinator - Laura Buff
Production Coordinator - Kate Guinzburg
Assistant Production Coordinator - Sherry Lynne
DGA Trainee - Patrick McKee
Production Accountant - Kirk Borcherding
Publicist - Nancy Willen
Secretary - Joyce Y. Irby
Secretary - Kathi Freeman
Optical Effects Administrator - Leona Phillips
Hardware Consultant - Steven Dane
Hardware Consultant - John Daveikis
Sound Design - Richard Beggs
Sound Design - Tom McCarthy Jr.
Sound Editor - Don S. Walden
Sound Editor - William L. Manger
Sound Editor - Michael Redbourn
Sound Editor - Joseph Holsen
Sound Editor - Jim Bullock
Sound Editor - John Colwell
Sound Recording Mixer - Gene S. Cantamessa
Boom Operator - Raul A. Bruce
Cable Operator - Jack Walpa
Sound Rerecording Mixer - Les Fresholtz
Sound Rerecording Mixer - Dick Alexander
Sound Rerecording Mixer - Vern Poore
Sound Rerecording Mixer - Robert Fernandez
Orchestrations - Peter Bernstein
Orchestrations - David Spear
Music Editor Supervisor - Kathy Durning
Song Performer - Bobby Alessi
Song - Bobby Alessi
Song - Dave Immer
Song Producer - Phil Ramone
Song - Diane Warren
Song - The Doctor
Song Producer - Jack White
Song Producer - Robbie Buchanan
Song Performer - Laura Branigan
Song - Leroy Green
Song Producer - Ron Kersey
Song Performer - The Trammps
Song - Kevin O'Neal
Song Producer - Brian O'Neal
Song Producer - John Hug
Song Performer - The Bus Boys
Song - T. Bailey
Song Producer - Steve Lillywhite
Song Performer - The Thompson Twins
Song - Graham Russell
Song Producer - David Foster
Song Producer - Jay Graydon
Song Performer - Air Supply
Song Performer - Mick Smiley
Song - Mick Smiley
Song Producer - Keith Forsey
Unit Production Manager - Patrick McCormick
Assistant Director - Peter Giuliano
Assistant Director - John Pepper
Assistant Director - William Eustace
Casting - Joy Todd
Casting - Karen Rae
Location Manager - Lenny Vullo
Location Manager - Jeffrey Stolow
Wardrobe Supervisor - Lee Austin
Wardrobe Supervisor - Debra Louis Katz
Assistant Camera - Vincent Gerardo
Assistant Camera - Patrick Capone
Steadicam Operator - Ted Churchill
Propmaster - Joe Carracciola Jr.
Teamster Captain - Rocco Derasmo
DGA Trainee - Carol Vitkey
Visual Effects Art Direction - John Bruno
Visual Effects Editor - Conrad Buff
Matte Department Supervisor - Neil Krepela
Mechanical Effects Supervisor - Thaine Morris
Camera Operator - Bill Neil
Special Projects Director - Gary Platek
Model Shop Supervisor - Mark Stetson
Optical Supervisor - Mark Vargo
Animation Supervisor - Garry Waller
Animation Supervisor - Terry Windell
Engineer - Gene Whiteman
Matte Artist - Matthew Yuricich
Ghost Shop Head - Stuart Ziff
Godfather - James Nelson
Camera Operator - Jim Aupperle
Camera Operator - John Lambert
Camera Assistant - Pete Romano
Camera Assistant - Jody Westheimer
Camera Assistant - Clint Palmer
Stills - Gemma LaMana
Stills - Michael Ginsburg
Stills - Virgil Mirano
Optical Printer Operator - Chuck Cowles
Optical Printer Operator - Bruno George
Optical Printer Operator - Bob Wilson
Optical Lineup - Philip Barberio
Optical Lineup - Mary E. Walter
Optical Lineup - Ronald B. Moore
Dimensional Animation Effects - Randall William Cook
Animator - Sean Newton
Animator - William Recinos
Animator - Bruce Woodside
Animator - Richard Coleman
Technical Animator - Annick Therrien
Technical Animator - Peggy Regan
Technical Animator - Samuel Recinos
Technical Animator - Pete Langton
Technical Animator - Les Bernstein
Technical Animator - Wendie L. Fischer
Matte Camera Assistant - Alan Harding
Matte Art - Michelle Moen
Matte Art - Constantine Ganakes
Effects Manager - Robert Spurlock
Technical Advisor - Jon Berg
Sculptor - Steve Neill
Sculptor - Mike Hosch
Onion Head/librarian Sculptor - Steve Johnson
Staypuft Sculptor - Linda Frobos
Staypuft Sculptor - Bill Bryan
Modelmaker - Gunnar Ferdinandsen
Mechanism Design - Steve Dunham
Mechanism Design - Don Carner
Mechanism Design - John Alberti
Mechanism Design - Nicholas Alberti
Mechanism Design - Doug Beswick
Mechanism Design - Lance Anderson
Mechanism Builder - Joe Franke
Mechanism Builder - Kevin Dixon
Mechanism Builder - Tom Culnan
Mechanism Builder - Bill Sturgeon
Mechanism Builder - Larz Anderson
Modelmaker - Gary Bierend
Modelmaker - Leslie Ekker
Modelmaker - Kent Gebo
Modelmaker - Pete Gerard
Modelmaker - Bob Hoffman
Modelmaker - Patrick McClung
Modelmaker - Donald Pennington
Modelmaker - Milius Romyn
Modelmaker - Nicholas Seldon
Modelmaker - Paul Skylar
Creature Design Consultant - Brent Boates
Creature Design Consultant - Terry Windell
Creature Design Consultant - Thom Enriquez
Creature Design Consultant - Bernie Wrightson
Creature Design Consultant - Robert Kline
Creature Design Consultant - Kurt W. Conner
Design Engineer - Mike Bolles
Design Engineer - Mark West
Electronic Engineer - Jerry Jeffress
Electronic Engineer - Robin Leyden
Software Programmer - Kris Brown
Production Secretary - Laurel Walter
Production Secretary - Leslie Falkinburg
Production Secretary - Mary Mason
Stunt Coordinator - Bill Couch

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